Once again, here I am

Well, it seems that my pensieve is unavoidable. Tonight, i'm thinking about the purpose of life...
See, lately, i've been faced (Excuse my semi-correct grammar... my writing here is less than purposeful, so i really don't care enough to correct it) with a lot of tough thoughts and concepts.. not necessarily decisions just yet, but i can see how they will be very soon... and the thing is, i know the grand purpose of my existance : to know and worship God and to build an ever-advancing civilization (don't get it? see www.bahai.org - you might understand a bit more about me) however.. in the meantime....
i don't know what i'm really trying to say.... actually, well, wait.. maybe i do... monday really helped me get a bit of focus on life... i sorta saw a few lights rushing toward me and, well, i ended up realizing who i really care most about in my life... (yes, here comes sappy tahereh... don't worry, i'll return to my normal self soon enough!) and then i thought, well, if all of my existence in this world comes down to how much of it is useful for the next, then am i really being useful in this life? and this leads to thinking about careers, and family, etc... anyway, i'm in general quite confused. again, it comes down to this notion of balance:
how much time should i spend with my sister? (my profs won't be marking on my babysitting skills)
how important is what i study in school - how applicable is it?
and the list does continue.. and i think that most of you can pick up the rest (for those of you that can't, i'm really sorry.. i don't feel much like making an exhaustive list just now). anyway, a friend of ours is staying with us right now, and she says to me tonight, you'll make lots of career changes, and she's talking about life and how it will always be changing and you may or may not plan it, etc.. but here's a thought: when life throws you one of them curve balls, what do you do with it?
i think i've lost myself.... meh...
here's another question for you: why are you reading this right now?
i'm actually quite amazed at the variety of people that have read this and the comments that i've gotten (not all on this blog... a few of my regulars just talk to me about it) and i'm wondering why my little rants (or maybe not so little) would get people coming back, and also: why is it that those people whom i expect will give me a good answer give me the worst ones, and those whom i expect less of (simply because i don't know them as well) will write real thinkers?
anyway, i should go... i have a page long list of stuff to do tonight... any of my overseas readers... feel free to comment! to all you domestic ones: thanks for the thoughts, and keep them coming!
good night, and my apologies for this convolution i've posted....
take care!