My Summer Travels

So, I do believe that what I haven't done to date is give everyone a full explanation of my travels, or told the story. Perhaps I'm just nostalgic at this point in my sad excuse for a life. But then, perhaps this is my way of getting some closure. I tell this story without expectation of anything in return; I just want you to know what happened, and maybe, just maybe this might explain a bit of who I've become.
Here goes nothing.

I left for the wrong reason. Have you ever looked back on your life and said: damn, I shouldn't have done that? I say that to myself nearly every second. I make a hell of a lot of mistakes, and this, this was one of those big ones. My reason for leaving: I was one unhappy little first year. I also was clueless as to what I was doing with my life, and my marks were taking nosedives. My school friends will sigh here and say, "ugh, Haji, your marks?! you probably just did not think them good enough." Actually, no, that is not the case. Honors degrees require 70% and up. And if my marks continued to drop as they were doing, I wouldn't even be able to get that much.
So I managed to convince my parents that instead of having me mope around the house for a month (pilgrimage has set dates - no one was going to hire me for the summer knowing that I'd be gone right away - How do I know this? I checked!) I should go and live with my aunt and her family in Gibraltar, and do a Period of Service for the Baha'i Community there.
Come April 29th, I was gone.

Gibraltar

I was in Gibraltar from May 4 - June 3. Thirty days. Most of them: from Hell. Gibraltar, if you don't already know, is the southernmost geographic point of mainland Spain. It's the point on a map that nearly touches Morocco. Most of you will know about it because of the strategic importance of the Strait of Gibraltar. Well, that's where I was.
Now, I do not wish to hurt my aunt and her family by writing this. Let me explain here that the primary reason for my unhappiness in this place was because of culture shock. The secondary reason: homesickness.
Now, let me explain the situation there. My aunt and uncle really should have said no to my coming. I guess, like all family, they're excited initially, but don't realize what they're really doing. Also, a series of unfortunate coincidences all climaxed during that month. More pressure for all of us.
Their apartment is perhaps the size of my upstairs... So the living room, dining room, kitchen and area, perhaps plus my parent's room. Family of five.
I arrived, and now we're six, and they put me up in my cousins room. My cousin, Carmel, of course, knowing me probably better than I know myself, was disgusted at this fact. I, too, have also learnt to become disgusted with myself.
So it's all a learning experience, right?
Anyway, I did do many Baha'i activities, but you know, when you don't have much else to do, it seems like you're doing nothing. I spent a lot of time walking to town and around town... I could go a whole day and not say a word to anyone other than my family. And I spent a hell of a lot of time on the phone with my parents and brother.
I think the biggest difference between here and Gibraltar, like Carmel told me when I arrived and would remind me incessantly, is that Gibraltarians (yes, they're not British... calling them that is like calling Canadians, Americans) are a very laid back people. Their motto is "por la manana" (pronounced maniana, almost... I need some Spanish letters here! eheh) "for the morning". Me, crazy university student that I am, am the exact opposite.
Fine, but relaxing, that's easy enough right?
Sure, but how's this? I'm in a small place, and the kids have been taught, rightly so, that this family is not about secrets. So, when I logged on to PAWS to find if my marks had been posted (unfortunately they had), they were announced throughout the house without hesitation. Net result: privacy to a Canadian and privacy to a Gibraltarian mean two really, really different things.
The above are merely a few reasons, other things were going on...
Now, my homesickness.
I have never felt more alone in my life. In a way, it was good; I was able to deal with the rest of my travels better, but at the same time, I look back... I cringe. I tried to be happy, I really did, after all, this is what I had wanted for so long... I'd even written in grade 10 in Wilderman's class about this... But this was not what I had expected. I remember, I had photos of my siblings in my prayer book, photos which I'd whip out to show any poor fool that happened to ask me about my family. My journal, which I was not able to write in due to privacy problems, contained three photos: one, of Teegan and I at grad, the second of a certain December formal photo, and the third, which unfortunately turned out quite horribly due to poor film, of the discussion group - most of my Saskatoon friends were in it. I also had with me three airplane letters from three very different friends of mine. I'd reread them a million times by the time I'd arrived in Gib. These little pieces of home...
I also had a friend from home tirelessly emailing me to keep me going. She'd send me these massive long emails... Detailing every last thing that was going on back home, and then, when she'd run out of things to tell me or ask me, she'd make a list of questions, most of them random... Just to get me to write back and have something to look forward to. To this friend, I am eternally grateful.
My grampa had, in his worry for me, given me his mobile phone. I think I blew most of my money on text messages... hehe, yes, and to those two girls I was messaging: I am proud to have inserted EVERY LAST WORD! (what can I say, I really don't know how to use the little buggers...)
There was something else, too, which perhaps hit home even more than the photos or the letters... A friend of mine had prepared a few CD's for me... Unfortunately, this person knows me better than they could have ever imagined. My cousins hated the music... So the odd time when I had the house to myself, I'd play the CDs quietly... There was one song in particular, that actually caused me to be unable to listen to them again until I'd left. Trad music from a country I absolutely adore: Ireland. This woman was singing about how she'd left Dublin (oh, lovely Dublin...) to come to America and escape the war, only to find that America was also in war, and that she shouldn't have left in the first place. I laughed, and turned off the CD player. A litte too true to my situation...
However, this all being said, I did fall in love with Gibraltar. And then I was promptly yanked back to reality by events that were, as usual, my fault. Such is my life. I do things with the best of intentions, and they always, always backfire.

Israel

My family and I met up in Barcelona, and went to Israel for pigrimage: 6 - 15 June, I believe. Pilgrimage was amazing. My brother and I met a lot of new people, and got to hang out with some old Saskatoon friends on their turf. I cannot say much else. We were staying in Haifa, and we would travel out to Akka. There are Baha'i Holy Places as well as two Shrines in these twin cities. A lot of prophecies have been and are being fulfilled in Israel...
Again, however, and now with Anis, all we both could think about was how much so and so would like it if they were here. We called some friends from there as well. Anis had kids taken out of class... I had parents wake people up... It was a good time. Hehe, even on our pilgrimage we were planning our days, adding time zone differences again and again, just to make one or two phone calls...
The culture, obviously, was quite different. But I don't think that it was the culture that surprised me the most. I think it was the fact that for once, I was the normal person in the crowd. The only thing that would give me away was the fact that the citizens of Haifa and Akka know a pilgrim from a mile away... I'd tell you why, but you'd call me an arrogant [insert curse word here]. Anyway, it was great. Anis and I lived on hummus and pita bread (by choice!)... We'd eat arab food... have pastries... fresh fruit..stuff that my parents would talk about, and could maybe get once a year or two if one of us went to Toronto or Montreal... But nothing really like this... Shawarma galore! Oh God, the Shawarma!
I have a TON of photos and stories about Israel... Just ask.

Spain

We returned, with great difficulty (ask for the story in person), to Spain. It's funny, we'd use Barcelona as a travel stop... I think I spent a total of 7 or 8 days there... But I never really got to sight see or anything... I'd be too busy repacking bags (funny story that one...). Anyway, my maternal side of the family all lives in Spain, and we managed to all find two weeks (17 - 30 June) that we could escape to Southern Spain, to this province called Andalucia, which surrounds Gibraltar, if I'm not mistaken.
Anis, by this time, was dying of homesickness and asking for a ticket home (hehe, what I'd done, no, begged for, a month earlier). It was lovely. We rented this place in a paradise town that I'm sure I'll never go back to.
God, the stories...
The highlight of the trip for me was really a visit from an old, old friend of mine. June 22-26 were four heavenly days there... I spent most of the rest cooped up in my room busy... with what? Well, that's another story... In any case, it's no longer important. Anyway, well, so my friend came to visit. She's kinda one of those amazing people I hope I can aspire to, and I'm sure you guys would all rather I be if you could but meet her. She knew, somehow, how to handle me, which is saying something, as well as how to speak and act around every last person in my family. By the end of the four days, she'd convinced my parents to allow me to come stay with her.
I still don't know how she did it.
The rest of my trip there was really a blur... I locked myself upstairs... And we did go here or there, or to the beach... I spent a day in Granada my first weekend there with my other aunt.. babysitting my little cousin... Oh, what a cutie! The little guy is just two months younger than Farah. I have never been met with such kindness and hospitality while with a child as I was there. And I would know.
My cousins all liked Anis. Which was good, because I needed time to deal with myself. The little guy, Olinga, and my sister were really good friends. Farah still recognizes him. They'd play in this little pool my aunt had purchased in Israel for my sister. And they'd share what little toys they had... And hug each other... Oh they were so cute!

Ireland: My unexpected trip

So, now, this is the part of my story that gets even more creepy. In grade 10 English class with Mr. Wilderman, there was an assignment which I remember as the postcard project. Choose a place or places to travel to, "go there" for x amount of time and write a friend back - but make the postcards to. Parts of this postcard project have become a reality. And Ireland was the clincher.
I was there 4 - 20 July. Spent 10 days of it as housemates with Sahar, whom most of you know as "Tahereh's friend from Ireland". (She's the one that visited earlier... yes, I realize I'm not using names enough - I don't want to bore you...). Her family was away, and they had actually wanted, yes wanted, me to come and keep her company. That, I'm sure I did; how good my company was, I do not know. However, I can easily say that this was the best part of my trip. I'd gotten over the culture shock; Sahar is a person who does understand me, probably more than she knows; and Irish culture is a lot more similar to ours, probably because, well, a lot of Canadians are of Irish decent.
I spent most of my time either at home or at NUIG (university, where Sahar studies and works). Again, I was busy with my mystery project. It was good. Relaxing... The weather was more what I was used to. The air is also a lot cleaner than Spain and most certainly Israel. And let me say, to those of you who are wondering: Ireland is everything they tell us it is!
I think one of the biggest learning experiences for me was that I was finally able to initiate conversation with total strangers. (I had done this on some airplane rides, but minimally and with a lot of caution). But the Irish seem to be quite sociable and, let me add, extremely amiable! Ah, yes, I should add, Sahar lives in Galway, so I was there. We were in Dublin for a night - two of Sahar's Baha'i friends took their Saturday and gave us a lovely walking tour of the country's capital. I've never walked so much in my life! (well, maybe on pilgrimage...)
Anyway, it was great. And Sahar's family is simply brilliant, as well. Her dad scares me in an amusing sort of way... Him and my dad are exact replicas, and unfortunately for Sahar and I, he knows it. The funniest thing ever was when he caught me one morning coming upstairs, and I, of course, say "hey, Mr. Rahmani," etc... He looks at me, smiling and says "tell me, Tahereh, do you get along with your father?" - let me say, for the record, that I have never walked a tightrope, but I think talking about family stuff, knowing full well the implications, with Sahar's dad, no less... well, I think I have a pretty good idea of what it's like! Her mom, well, a woman that selfless I've never met before.
Sahar's siblings are also brilliant. I must say that I do miss them...
The last weekend that I was there, they took me to the Cliffs of Moher and the Burren. It was absolutely terrific! The car ride (God... the scenery is stunning!), and everything. I think the Cliffs were the most amusing... I couldn't help but remember the postcard project and a certain young friend of mine dreaming of hangliding into the sunset...
Unfortunately, Sahar kept me from jumping.
Ah, yes, and for the record: I did go to more than one pub.... heheh..

And that was that. I came home to Saskatoon on 21 July... Depressed, alone and still as unhappy as when I'd left. I think I spent a Hell of a lot of money on phone calls on the 20th when I arrieved back in Barcelona. hehe, my poor parents... When I got back, I went through a lot of reverse culture shock. To my friends here, for that, I do sincerely apologize. Much was going on in my life... much is still happening, and God knows where I'll be in a year's time. Anyway, perhaps this little story will help you to understand me a bit better, perhaps it won't, and perhaps, it's too late and redemption is impossible.
In any case, one of the biggest challenges for me this past summer and term has been that people seem unable to get along with me. That much became quite clear to me when I was with family while travelling. So, to those of you who are angry at me, who will be or have been, don't worry, you're not alone, (I'm one of them, too). You should start a club, crisis line and everything...
Anyway, with that, I shall leave you for the time being. There's a fight in my head right now that I should probably go resolve.
Good night, and take care.