well, it strikes me that my posting has become quite haphazard (sorry for the spelling shawn and sahar... i'll say this: to shawn, i'm persian, excuse me; to sahar, i'm canadian, please, allow me to beg for your pardon) (alternatively, if i did spell haphazard right... hah! in your faces! - not really....)
anyway! moving SWIFTLY onwards.... saskatchewan as it were...
right, so my posting is quite random these days. i apologize to my loyal readership that no longer includes even samira. *sniff, sob... almost tear... so therefore, i've decided to write more often, as my goal of having a brilliant readership which consists of the liquid crystals in this display has been accomplished... (and also because a good friend of mine insists that i write more)
today, i have two thoughts. the first is about books, and the second is about dreams (as in goals and aspirations)
*also, may i ask that those of you who do not yet speak french learn damned quickly.. i really don't know how much longer i can keep the one language only thing up... my brain's too screwed up for that!
last week, i was honored to receive a few books... and after having read most of italo calvino's "if on a winter's night a traveller", i'm beginning to see books in a different light. see, they've always been this other world that i've escaped to (as most persian children will do... especially in the area that i live in) but books are extremely personal. i remember, back when i was 12, my uncle kasra gave me two books - pride and prejudice, and david copperfield. two books which have graced my bookshelf, and brought honor to my library.... and with which i hope never to part! and it's funny, because they've really affected me. david copperfield i still have not finished, 7 years after the fact... but pride and prejudice i've read dozens of times, (it's even travelled with me), and it has greatly influenced my life and my relationships with other people... (to all those guys who say they don't know what women want.... read pride and prejudice. trust me. it's all there) how can i explain this..
ah yes.. teegan, sahar and i. (i hope you two will not mind my using your names... feel free to yell at me later).... us three are quite the little group when it comes to music. sahar and i, well, we have quite similar taste... but that's mostly because i think, we're similar in a few ways... i personally, like her taste in music mainly because most of it is rock/punk/slightly pop type stuff.. and i like to blast my brain cells dead as opposed to drink them dead. now... the other day, teegan and i were out... and teegan had made a mixed cd, and she stuck it in my cd player for a friend of ours to listen to... she made a comment along the lines of "tahereh doesn't like my music, she hates it, and likes sahar's type of music." now, the thing is this: i poke fun at both girl's taste in music, mostly because that's what i do best - and me being honest is, well, quite a hard thing! however, if i ever did take the time to actually listen to both types.... (let me add that sahar's burnt me so many cds that that's my cd collection right now... so teegan, really!) haha, no it struck me that music, no matter what type it is, is quite personal.. to the extent that it occured to me that i do not like people to hear or see my humble collection.... teegan and sahar are both confident people, and so they are proud to show off most of the music they like, and state it like a fact: THIS is good music.
now, the same applies to books. my collection is quite odd, really.. a mishmash of scifi, poetry by the likes of blake and rumi, religious texts galore (from various faiths), textbooks, history... classic novels by such noted authors as chopin, austen, moore and conrad... it's by no means complete, and i have a lot that i need to add to it but it also does not include all the books that i have read in my life.... and to most of you, i'd be hard pressed to admit to what does and does not appeal to me. the reason, i guess, is simple, it's a bit of a back door into my life... isn't it? and is it not so with all art forms?
what about the paintings and posters that hang on my walls? what does that say to you about me? or the sheet music on my shelf... and the films next to them?
so now we come to the idea of sharing art with others... i find it's hard enough to give someone a cd, or a novel that i think they should read... and then i worry about giving them something i've written myself... yikes! it's like you're opening a door for them... one which perhaps should not be opened.
in any case, so i received a few books.... all from the same source.. and it strikes me as interesting, because i wonder why these ones? i'm positive that the giver could not imagine what the feelings of the receiver would be upon receipt of the pieces... so that could not have been his motivation... so then what was it? (note: to answer this question, all necessary information has been given... hehe no tricks.)
in any case, i've completely lost my train of thought... must read more of "in a winter's night a traveller"...
i've also been wondering today about dreams... and destiny... one's Personal Legend as one author puts it... actually... i'm sorry... my mind's a bit too convoluted to write about this just now...
perhaps tomorrow...
ah, here's a question for you, however....
how much should one sacrifice for one's goals?
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a mild mix of common complexities, science, and opinions with a dash of insanity and an almost compulsive attention to detail... and i got bored of writing the rest... and if you feel like you've wasted your time by reading this blog - just remember, you choose how to spend your time.
who IS this freak?!
- your humble servant
- not much to say. or... so you hope!
books.
- ender's game
- hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
- leninger biochemistry
- my little red book
- pride and prejudice
- the alchemist
- the tipping point
- the world is flat
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5 comments:
I like your Paulo Coelho reference. An also, you're speling was wright.
hey now, i still read your blog! ahahha way to make assupmtions tah! you know what's good music?? music you can DANCE too *i.e. techno ahah specifically in my case euro trash, which for unhardcore (soft core?? ) people would be euro pop techno eheheh* anyways i have to go to JY so this isn't a full comment, but oh wait, according to tah, i dont read her blog anymore ahhah so maybe i shouldn't reply anymore ??? lol im just messing with you tah, please dont send me hate texts ehehehhe byeeeee
Sounds like you've got trust issues with your friends. Or maybe you are assocating who you are with what you own. I don't mean to point out your neurosis, I'm just calling 'em as I see 'em. But i think we all do that. Most people even try to create themselves by buying certain kinds of music or books (or cars, or food). I guess if your identity is hinged on what you own than it is a little scary to show your collections. But we all know you better than that. I am not surprised to hear who you have in your book collection. But even if it was Mein Kampf, the collective works of Charles Manson and a Smurfs comic it wouldn't change who you are.
hi henry,
i just had a question for you: do you think you could possibly expand on your first sentence? cuz i re-read tahereh's post, and im not really seeing the correlation between trust issues and what she said...maybe im missing something?
also, in terms of what you own changing who you are..its more who you are that defines what you have..for instance, in terms of the smurfs comics, if you have ties to your childhood or you think blue men and one blue woman in diapers are hilarious, then youd also have them in your room...the stuff you have in your room is there because they have some kind of value to you, they're almost a part of you in a sense, because theres an attachment of yourself onto what you own. and if an outsider looks into your room and sees that you own say a Beethoven CD there's all these assumptions and implications that tie into that. perhaps they'd be wrong, but most likely theyd be relatively accurate, therefore what you own would pretty accurately reflect different parts of you.
and i definitely dont see the neurosis in that...
great, wait.. so sam? was that a comment for me as well, or shall i just leave you and henry to have a battle of wits? in any case, i wonder if i was clear in my latest post... perhaps not, i guess, because my posts are a bit too free *in feminist criticism, they'd say that men and women are unable to understand each other cuz they're hardwired differently - brain wise - and therefore that would explain some of the issues that arise with this blog..* in any case, yeah, what i was trying to say is somewhat what sam said. that what you own, and what you surround yourself with *things not people* reflects who you are. not the whole you - because that object was not created with the purpose of reflecting you *not even physical mirrors do that* but part of you.. or rather, when you acquired it.. you saw something in it that appealed to you for some reason... so, if i were to own a copy of the mein kampf, dear henry, i would say, yeah, definitely lock me up - because i'd be a self-hating brown neonazi.. because part of me would be attracted to that book.. and that's kinda sick.
also, think about this... maybe something that's closer to home... now, i've never seen your room... but i can imagine that you'd have some incense, perhaps a few powerful stones and, like me, a bookshelf full of books.. and so on... tell me, henry, are you trying to say that those things do not reflect parts of you? your identity does not rely on them, but part of your identity can be seen through each object... the sum total of the parts that you can see through them is not your identity, because parts of you only you, or maybe not even... probably only God will know. now, my room you've seen *only cuz he was getting his jacket, people!* you know that there's a lot of reference to the Baha'i Faith in there... a religious movement i adhere to only because i find it to be the truth. but there's a lot of reference to it, no? now... henry, why would you not have all those Baha'i things in your room, and i, the incense, stones and whatever else you surround yourself with?
the reason why it's hard to show these things to friends... *i haven't reread my post to see what i said* but, i assume that that's waht you mean by trust issues.. unless you were referring to an event that is beyond the scope of this blog and that we should discuss in private.. anyway, the reason why the first thing one does when someone comes to one's home is go: hey come check out my room... well, firstly, because for various reasons it would be highly inappropriate... and secondly because they do reflect your identity.. somewhat, but not completely.. and like sam said.. that will cause ppl to have assumptions about you added on to their previous assumptions about you... all of which may not necessarily be true. right?
by the way, i have trust issues with my friends... i suggest you call em as you see em to my face, my dear.. and have some proof. i am capable of change, but only if i see a need to.
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