hypocrisy galore

hy·poc·ri·sy ( P ) Pronunciation Key (h-pkr-s)
n. pl. hy·poc·ri·sies

1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
2. An act or instance of such falseness

...according to dictionary.com.... (just so i can say i wasn't plagiarising...)

i had a some friends over last night... and the topic turned to the old quotation i'm sure you're all familiar with "let deeds not words be your adorning"... it was interesting for me, because i've been faced with that all week - hypocrisy, that is.
i'm a biochemistry student - just finishing off my 2nd year, and interestingly enough, i'm beginning to meet a lot of my fellow majors in this last month of school. for those of you who do not know, biochemistry is a "feeder" to colleges such as medicine, dentistry, vet. med, etc. so of course, a lot of the students that i meet are pre-somethings and extremely competitive. i could care less about what a person wants to do with his/her life... and how they get themselves there.. well, i'll just try to get out of their way (i don't like being a doormat, thank you very much), but i do care why you're going to do something...
it struck me back in high school, too.. this attitude of "i'm going to be a doctor because it makes lots of money" - news flash for you, kids: you want money? go into business - or make a brilliant discovery (eg. invent your own DNA). professions such as medicine no longer pay what they used to relative to other professions. in any case, i'd hope, at least, that my doctor would care about who i am, as opposed to how many times s/he can make me visit him/her so that i can help fund the cruise trip that year!
so, last night, i'm talking to these friends of mine about hypocrisy - out of the blue.. i didn't bring it up. and today, thinking back on it.. i wonder, are there different levels of hypocrisy?
so, for example, is it worse for someone to go into a profession like medicine for the money, and not to help people.... or say, commit to an organization knowing full well you're never going to fulfill half of its requirements for members?
maybe i'm just biased towards certain situations, but i think that it must depend on your motivation.... so perhaps, your level of "falseness" is dependent on the instance in question, and to the magnitude of the effect it has on your environment...
however, if we go back to the definition above, it seems that there is no gray area here.. it's a matter of you either do as you say, or you don't, and it's as simple as that....
ideas? i'd like to hear them....

- a very confuzzled crazy haji

quotation of the day

If you want to understand the meaning of happiness, you must see it as a reward and not as a goal.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

for more on the meaning of happiness - see below

...for my most critical editor in life....

ah, rainy days....

well, yesterday was the first rain of the year. it was, allow me to say, brilliant. today, the sun is out, birds are chirping (i can hear them even with my window closed - soon, they'll be waking me at 4AM... the little buggers!!!.. i mean, i love the birds... *stupid magpies taking over silverwood!*) ok, right i digress....
its' a wonderful day out!
it's an interesting feeling.... as if, somehow, even the human population here is coming out of hibernation... stretching and opening their eyes for the first time all winter... (we've had about 2 months of clouds and blizzards - cut us some slack! when the irish say they hate rainy days.... i say to them... well, at least not EVERYTHING you see is white!)
and after the rain yesterday... see, rainy days... they seem to have a certain melancholy hopefulness to them. glad tidings, almost... some might even call it.... cleansing. it makes you ponder and look out the window and sigh.... (to my irish friends: i can see how this can get depressing if it's every other day at random times)
anyway, that was my ode to rainy days..... kindy wimpy and bleagh, but i tried!

in other news:
i've decided that april fool's day is not about the person who is tricked being the fool... but more about the trickster being foolish enough to find the trick funny. i pulled probably the worst prank possible on a friend yesterday morning (i was up early... and really bored!) only to find out that death had come knocking on this person's door on friday night. (apparently death's knock is: "shave and a haircut - two bits!")
and i recall... a few years back... a different friend of mine had gotten me good.... by telling me that her sister (who is a year older than i) was engaged. whoa boy, did that one get me good!
in any case, i'm wondering what you all think of the ol' poisson d'avril!
leave one.... or many...

question of the day: education

well, folks, i guess we've come to a conclusion about the question of "what is happiness".

the answer, aptly stated by one "s" is : happiness = warm bath
stay tuned for more insightful answers to the critical questions of life.

education is necessary to wholistic human development. DISCUSS.

good luck with that one everyone.. go ahead and sign anonymously or not if you like.... i'm sure everyone would love to hear what you say... i'll start writing back too, i promise!

*sam - you'd BETTER comment!

the second holocaust

not to take away from the wonderful discussing happening one post down (i plan on adding to it soon enough) but this link just got sent to me. the author implies that a second holocaust might be in its embryonic stages at this very moment.
i'll let you judge for yourselves. feel free to comment...and since it seems that we like anonymous comments... please, by all means, be my guest.

question of the day

alright..
in addition to the questions below... i would like to ask the following.... (this has come up in more than one recent conversation.... eek!)

what is happiness?

and if that doesn't cause what a good friend of mine calls a "brain fart".... i don't know what will!
but write your thoughts.. sign them anonymously if you're just that self-conscious....

initiating contact

Here are a couple of photos I thought were slightly interesting... I was messing with my camera yesterday and found a few interesting "modes"... sam.. the one at left is just for you! stay tuned for more! (sorry for the formating... blogger and I are not getting along very well today....)
In any case.... I wanted to discuss well, several things, but I won't bring them up just yet....
for today's post, i thought i'd go back to my "seinfeld" motif.
my title for this blog entry "initiating contact" sounds a bit awkward, i realize, however, i think it suits this entry perfectly.
anyway, so, my question for the day is:

what is the procedure on the "call back"? or, in this disgustingly technological age, "msg me, sometime, eh?"

i do believe this was actually discussed on seinfeld - but it was in regards to the morning after... as in, so you have a "great" night with someone... then you're obligated to call them back, etc etc..
in my case, i'm speaking a lot more generally... for example, many people say "yeah, i'll give ya a call sometime" - friends! not just some person you go out on an awkward date with... or one of my friends does the "i'll call you right back, ok?"
now, i must admit, i am very much "contact" shy. so i feel weird calling even my best friends - what if they're busy, or don't want to talk or... a million what ifs! however, if i tell you i'm going to call, chances are, unless something stupid happens, that i will.
on the other hand... people that go through the horrible experience of leaving me a message (with my parents or voice mail).... well, good luck on getting a call back from me... i'll do everything in my power to avoid it. excuses, staring at the phone.... perhaps even dialing and then hanging up.. ahaha (i can even SEE sam saying aww, tah)
in my defence, I KNOW i'm not the only one out there with callerphobia. not to be confused with cholera, although both are potentially deadly. eheh
anyway, let me know your thoughts.

handsblog

in an effort to impress me, jonathon has posted the most updates in one day to date - earning him a place in guiness record history.
might i say, dearest jonathon, if this feminist were possibly lesbian, she would consider going straight just for you....
ahahahahaha
more on feminism later.

by the way, his posts really are quite funny. OAW is too.. but they're two different classes of funny. which makes them both funny! so you should check them both out.. links are to the right.

of course, a note...

well, scroll down and you'll find my latest update of poem of the week. a friend of mine put in some requests today about possible topics i could write on, and i plan on fulfilling my promise to him. so rumi it was. i opened up my book to this poem and to "form is ecstatic" (note: the titles are given by the translator, coleman barks - when rumi wrote, it was just a flow of writing.... his volumes of poetry have no beginning or end).
personally, i like "form is ecstatic" better... but i decided to put "wake and walk out" up.. mostly because it discusses the need to investigate truth.
however, my opinion is beside the point.. i'll let you have a read over it and leave some comments.. then perhaps i'll explain what i think rumi is talking about....

Wake and Walk Out

By: Rumi

If I flinched at every grief, I
would be an intelligent idiot. If

I were not the sun, I'd ebb and
flow like sadness. If you were not

my guide, I'd wander lost in Sanai.
If there were no light, I'd keep

opening and closing the door. If
there were no rose garden, where

would the morning breezes go? If
love did not want music and laughter

and poetry, what would I say? If
you were not medicine, I would look

sick and skinny. If there were no
leafy limbs in the air, there would

be no wet roots. If no gifts were
given, I'd grow arrogant and cruel.

If there were no way into God, I
would not have lain in the grave of

this body for so long. If there were no
way from left to right, I could not

be swaying with the grasses. If
there were no grace and no kindness,

conversation would be useless, and
nothing we do would matter. Listen

to the new stories that begin every
day. If light were not beginning

again in the east, I would not now
wake and walk out inside this dawn.

overheard at western

i would also like to point out to you a new link in my links section.... overheard at western is my latest favorite site... second only to my own blog. :P
check it out. it rocks the socks off handsblog!
KIDDING!

my sister and i

i've been told to find shots of me smiling. here's one for now... you people do realize i had to go back almost a YEAR to find one? hehe i'm kidding... but really...
i'll update with something decent later tonight...

my blogger and i

well, sorry bout that... blogger and i have been having some interpersonal difficulties. fortunately, they seem to be resolved at the moment.

my question for you tonight is this: why do we do what we do... in short: what makes us humans tick? and then think on a smaller scale: what makes you tick?
it strikes me, as i sit here, dying of sleepiness... that the immediate reply to the above question is 'well, it's important to...." mr. x - or myself, or whoever... but then, why is it important to that person?
for example, i'm currently studying biochemistry... it's important to me yes... actually, i'm loving my classes - but what makes it important to me? (by the way, i DO know why it's important.. my question is general. i.e. this is not a life issue for me!)
another example... this one completely different... you know that irritating thing person y does? why do they do it? why is it that my brother taught my sister to say "ahhh" after she takes a sip of water?
you see, while humans are creatures of habit (hence this blog)... we still have quite a bit of control over what we do.. therefore, i submit that we allow certain actions to become subconcious, but that we do, in reality, have quite a bit of control.
anyway, i've lost my train of thought... and well, since my writing is more of a junkyard of thought, i doubt that any of you understood what i'm trying to get at regardless, so meh.

take care all

newspapers, editors, and God???

well, this past friday, (most of you know this story from personal experience, i realize), every student at the university of saskatchewan got an email from the president himself demanding that the sheaf, the university's student paper, formally apologize to all students, faculty and staff for publishing a comic entitled "capitalist piglets" and not publishing the comics of the Prophet Muhammad.
i read this and was like "what the hell is he going on about? comparing capitalists to a Prophet?" i think i thought a few curse words as well, and then got over it and was like, meh, even our president's on crack.
the weekend went on, and i hopped onto the bus this morning and an acquaintance of mine (mr. x) sits down in the seat in front of me and we start to chat. he mentioned the email from the prez, and i was like, "yeah, why's he so for publishing those comics of Muhammad??" and mr x is like, what? didn't you SEE what they published?
dear friends, my university's student paper was stupid enough to write that they were not going to publish any of the comics portraying the Prophet Muhammad, out of respect, etc... and then, published the most blashemous (and i've travelled, folks, i've seen my share of blasphemy.... can anyone say father ted???) most blashemous, disrespectful, explicit (as in i don't want my sister going anywhere NEAR those comics) and wrong comics (yes, more than one) about Jesus Christ Himself. i dare not recount what they've portrayed the Son of God as....
all this.... published on Ash Wednesday.
you'd think maybe they could've done the standard "pick on feminists due to international women's day" instead!
so here's the thought of the day, folks... what has led our society to such decadence that it is drawn to portray not only great historical figures, but Messengers of God, in such a manner that would've been demeaning to any individual... i, personally, cannot understand it.
and so that's that for the sheaf and i. it's officially sunk in my mind.... i mean, before i was like, yeah, it's trash.. but so's everything else... but no, this.. this is a new low.
i agree with jonathon. we should make a bonfire out of this week's papers. (the fools didn't even remove the paper from the racks.... that's how i got a look at them...)

trapped... with myself!

hey everyone.. well, i don't normally do the whole "talk about emotions" kinda thing.. but this is as close as i'm going to come to it i hope....
sam has been a loving ST and gotten me to get my ass off msn and into my books... so i'm basically under study-arrest (very similar to house arrest and cardiac arrest..) and tonight, i even started on the coffee.. it's disastrous, i know. but with the fast and all, i find that i'm just not motivated during the day, and at night i'm like: must work!
anyway, the moral of this story is this: most of you have one of my many email addresses... USE THEM and also leave comments on this here's blog... i am going to die if i'm going to stick out the no-msn thing till my last final.. which is on the 22nd of april... *gulp*
i will be updating this blog more regularly.. i want to get back to my poem of the week.. and possibly add in quotation of the week as well.. or of the day, whichever works....
stay tuned this week for a commentary on international women's day (march 8).
anyway, i must be off..
check out the links i have up.. there's some pretty interesting stuff there.. and quite a diverse array of blogs, and websites! ...i'm a particular big fan of news with herr heinz and of views from central canada... *also note... the link titles i've put up are not the actual titles of the sites/blogs necessarily.... so don't judge these sites by their links... *that cliche was for you, sam!

take care everyone!
and if you live in saskatoon.... have a safe and not too stuck time... (i've been getting stuck all week, and driving like matt damon in bourne supremacy... i just need the soundtrack now!!!)

more junkyard photos

my friend... has graciously sent me a few photos that more accurately describe my state of thought... "this is more junkyardy, tah" she said...


this one is called "pile of crap" - she thought it was very well suited to my post.

and the following... just relates to the amount of crap that is there...

junkyard of thought

well, i've been told by several people these past few days that my writing is extremely difficult to sift through. my initial response to most of these people: quit being so lazy.
but then, and forgive me for saying this, i was told by one of my closest... well, i guess you could call her a friend, by one of my closest friends that my way of thinking is not a "train of thought" as one would hope in normal circumstances, but a "junkyard of thought".
of course, being who i am, i find this statement quite fascinating, and obviously quite true (for the record, i am not afraid of the truth. i am, however, afraid of what people like to pass as the truth - see freemind is dead) so, for this blog post, i want to try to find out what constitutes a "junkyard of thought", prove to you beyond a doubt that that really is all that there is in my mind, and then see what kind of an answer i'll get from you folks!

now, the term train of thought suggests that there is a tangible link between one idea or concept and the next, and that it is presented in such a fashion. this goes to the heart of the five-paragraph essay, which we all had to write at some point, and are still struggling to escape. so as you can see from the train shown above here, usually these ideas will be old, traditional, black and coal-run steam engines (ie. not very fast)
however, even slower are those rusty, old pieces of metal that you will find in a junkyard. the picture at right shows a perfect example of the types of trains found in my mind. (i believe you can also find them in some communist countries as well... and in dundurn.) as you can see, these trains are old, rusty, and unlinked.. and three out of the four would have once been engines... lending power to the other cars and pulling them through it all. my thoughts are very much like this junkyard. they could have once done some service to the world, but now they only pollute, are being degraded and are extremely unpleasant to see.
now, my friends that cannot understand my writing probably find this to be true.
the only thing that scares me is this: to those of you who think you can understand me better by reading this blog... what does that say aboug me in general???

the above is dedicated to the one who cleans out my junkyard. you know who you are...

new post.

well, it strikes me that my posting has become quite haphazard (sorry for the spelling shawn and sahar... i'll say this: to shawn, i'm persian, excuse me; to sahar, i'm canadian, please, allow me to beg for your pardon) (alternatively, if i did spell haphazard right... hah! in your faces! - not really....)
anyway! moving SWIFTLY onwards.... saskatchewan as it were...
right, so my posting is quite random these days. i apologize to my loyal readership that no longer includes even samira. *sniff, sob... almost tear... so therefore, i've decided to write more often, as my goal of having a brilliant readership which consists of the liquid crystals in this display has been accomplished... (and also because a good friend of mine insists that i write more)
today, i have two thoughts. the first is about books, and the second is about dreams (as in goals and aspirations)
*also, may i ask that those of you who do not yet speak french learn damned quickly.. i really don't know how much longer i can keep the one language only thing up... my brain's too screwed up for that!
last week, i was honored to receive a few books... and after having read most of italo calvino's "if on a winter's night a traveller", i'm beginning to see books in a different light. see, they've always been this other world that i've escaped to (as most persian children will do... especially in the area that i live in) but books are extremely personal. i remember, back when i was 12, my uncle kasra gave me two books - pride and prejudice, and david copperfield. two books which have graced my bookshelf, and brought honor to my library.... and with which i hope never to part! and it's funny, because they've really affected me. david copperfield i still have not finished, 7 years after the fact... but pride and prejudice i've read dozens of times, (it's even travelled with me), and it has greatly influenced my life and my relationships with other people... (to all those guys who say they don't know what women want.... read pride and prejudice. trust me. it's all there) how can i explain this..
ah yes.. teegan, sahar and i. (i hope you two will not mind my using your names... feel free to yell at me later).... us three are quite the little group when it comes to music. sahar and i, well, we have quite similar taste... but that's mostly because i think, we're similar in a few ways... i personally, like her taste in music mainly because most of it is rock/punk/slightly pop type stuff.. and i like to blast my brain cells dead as opposed to drink them dead. now... the other day, teegan and i were out... and teegan had made a mixed cd, and she stuck it in my cd player for a friend of ours to listen to... she made a comment along the lines of "tahereh doesn't like my music, she hates it, and likes sahar's type of music." now, the thing is this: i poke fun at both girl's taste in music, mostly because that's what i do best - and me being honest is, well, quite a hard thing! however, if i ever did take the time to actually listen to both types.... (let me add that sahar's burnt me so many cds that that's my cd collection right now... so teegan, really!) haha, no it struck me that music, no matter what type it is, is quite personal.. to the extent that it occured to me that i do not like people to hear or see my humble collection.... teegan and sahar are both confident people, and so they are proud to show off most of the music they like, and state it like a fact: THIS is good music.
now, the same applies to books. my collection is quite odd, really.. a mishmash of scifi, poetry by the likes of blake and rumi, religious texts galore (from various faiths), textbooks, history... classic novels by such noted authors as chopin, austen, moore and conrad... it's by no means complete, and i have a lot that i need to add to it but it also does not include all the books that i have read in my life.... and to most of you, i'd be hard pressed to admit to what does and does not appeal to me. the reason, i guess, is simple, it's a bit of a back door into my life... isn't it? and is it not so with all art forms?
what about the paintings and posters that hang on my walls? what does that say to you about me? or the sheet music on my shelf... and the films next to them?
so now we come to the idea of sharing art with others... i find it's hard enough to give someone a cd, or a novel that i think they should read... and then i worry about giving them something i've written myself... yikes! it's like you're opening a door for them... one which perhaps should not be opened.
in any case, so i received a few books.... all from the same source.. and it strikes me as interesting, because i wonder why these ones? i'm positive that the giver could not imagine what the feelings of the receiver would be upon receipt of the pieces... so that could not have been his motivation... so then what was it? (note: to answer this question, all necessary information has been given... hehe no tricks.)
in any case, i've completely lost my train of thought... must read more of "in a winter's night a traveller"...
i've also been wondering today about dreams... and destiny... one's Personal Legend as one author puts it... actually... i'm sorry... my mind's a bit too convoluted to write about this just now...
perhaps tomorrow...
ah, here's a question for you, however....
how much should one sacrifice for one's goals?

oh valentine's day...

well, today is the day before that oh-so-horrible day... valentine's... disgusting really... the most pointless of all holidays... well, perhaps there are more pointless ones.... no, actually, i can't think of any just now..
in any case... you all know the usual characteristics about this time of the year... disunity.... anxiety... pain... commercialism... pressure... depression, as well, probably. i find this all very fascinating...
i, personally, barely remembered that vday was this week - until my friend aired a radio show that was basically an "ode to vday".. and well, this same friend keeps on reminding me about it... and while her and i are quite similar, i guess on this point we differ... whch is interesting because i really don't know what to attribute it to. i'm not any more calm, cool or collected.. and i certainly do not have her confidence about life... so i can't figure it out.
in any case, i find this quite fascinating... that a holiday so secular we no longer know its true roots - or even have much of a myth to go by - can have such an influence over us that we actually think that on this one day everything should be about romance and love.
i know what you're going to say to that... it's my first thought as well. our society is quite commercial and consumerist and vday is merely another commercial break... however, i do wonder if there is more to it. because with this day... you either hate it or you love it - and you can cross between the black and white so that if a person hates it one year, they might love it the next.. just depending on their life situation.
anyway.... it's way too early in the morning for me to be any more thoughtful than i am...

Bedside Manners.

you know, it's funny. doctors, and i do this all the time, are always ragged on for how little "bedside manners" they have. they're expected to have this considerate, caring demeanor and to know exactly what facial expression to have at exactly the right time... so when a patient doesn't get the treatment they expected.... well, it's obviously the doctor's fault, right?
so it is with other things in life... a friend of yours will do something you didn't expect them to do - maybe said something to you that was out of line... or behaved in a manner completely opposite their personality... so you ask yourself "who the hell is this kid that i thought i knew so well?" .. you don't stop to ask "why is he/she acting this way?"
my point is this: when someone does something unexpected, our reaction should not be to lash out at the individual for being unpredictable or going against their responsilibilities or whatever... but it should be one of loving-kindness.. soothing almost.. what if the person's reason was escape? or fear? or out of love?
did you stop to ask?
i know this one kid that'll stop an argument or a discussion when it gets too loud... his brain just shuts down, and all you can get from him is an "ok" or "as you wish". and it's weird, because even just a year ago, he would've punched back that much more harder.... but now, you couldn't have slapped him and gotten a more adverse reaction.
weird, no?
but i wonder, if you even just take the time to give the kid a hug, and ask him what's goin on.. will he react in the same way? (btw, for brevity and clarity i've used the pronoun "he" - the kid in question, however, is not necessarily a male).
my point is this: before you get mad at the doctor, friend, or whoever who does something that you didn't expect - be a little compassionate... ask yourself what on earth could've gotten him to do this... and be a little more soft spoken... you might just be surprised at the results...
and his justification might even be reasonable!