A few stray thoughts

ok, well, i have a several thoughts today, and i thought i would write them, seeing as how studying is definitely not happening at this point.... also, for those of you who have never met my family... i thought i would upload a few from a wedding we went to back in september....

anyway, so the above show my brother, sister and i.. eheh... anyway...

so, first off... last wednesday bore witness to our first snow - and blizzard - of the year. it was pretty crazy, because i'd planned a few appointments for myself during the day and evening, and so i asked my brother if i could borrow the car (this was monday) anyway.... come wednesday morning, there's over half a foot of snow outside.... and more is coming down... so it was an awesome adventure driving around... by noon there was at least a foot.... so i ended up shovelling our driveway (after digging/pushing out my car - it got stuck) and finding that there was still a layer of ice from the day before (freezing rain... and i KILLED myself on that...)

anyway, all this being said, my day was amazing in that it was my first time alone driving in a blizzard as such... first off - it is a TON of fun... you get to do all the fun stuff that you see on movies with your steering wheel going all over the place and such.... and... when your car gets stuck, you can be sure to have at least two or three men come and help you out! this was what got me most.... that through all the traffic and sliding backwards down hills and getting stuck in intersections and everything, people just helped each other out. i had guys come and push me out - patiently, i really must admit that i don't know what to do with my car when it gets stuck... still learning! - and as soon as it was done, they'd head off. i'd say thanks, they'd say no prob, and that was that. i really liked that.

this morning we had a memorial for my grampa. tomorrow marks one month since he passed away. i'd be lying if i said i don't miss him... but you know, i got to MC today... and give a talk on his life. (two months ago, i did this for my grandmother on my dad's side) and you know, that little bit of "doing something" really helped i think, in that it really made me feel like we'd done something for him.... and i've also been learning a lot as i reflect back on his life. i dunno, it was kinda cool, but i guess i don't really have the vocabulary to express what i mean really...

with all that... i wanted to discuss one of my favorite books - and one of the best lines in that book.... ender's game is the book. the line: "the enemy's gate is down" - it's what the main character says to his soldiers when all the odds are stacked against them... he orders them to finish the game as fast as possible (the goal is to disable enough of the opposing side so that you can unlock the enemy's gate). but he bends the rules, and sends his men to unlock the gate - taking the time to disable the other side would've caused the massacre of his army.

in any case, it's an interesting thought... one which implies that the ends do justify the means - but i'm not sure that this is true. often, when i get frustrated, my first response is to think of that line and just do whatever i have to to get through the situation - but when i think the situation through, i realize that if i do that, some spiritual qualities begin to get sacrificed in the process... so i am never quite sure what to do...

lately, i've been taking what i consider to be the "high road" but, to be honest, it feels like i'm bashing my head against a wall sometimes (ie. i get tested a lot, because the important things never come easily to me)... but now i'm thinking, i don't have the time to do that anymore... anyway, so i guess that's a question for you - what do you think? do the ends justify the means?

for those of you who have read ender's game... i apologize for the horrible explanation i gave above... to those who have not yet read it, i butchered that part of the story, but really, read it - it's a brilliant book!