hehehe, impressed? i learnt how to turn on the title feature!!!
well, let me begin my rant tonight by saying the following:
for those of you who i'm probably going to crush tonight, i apologize. but this is totally what i think, and since you so routinely ask for my opinion, i'm going to give it here and now. i am sincerely sorry for this... it is not my intent to say that any one belief is wrong (though if you want the truth, i suggest you look for it!), but to present another case...
some of my close friends have heard me say that i still go through culture-shock. in a country that i was born and raised in. how is this possible you ask? well, let me show you.
we live in a society that is permeated with the idea of freedom. since the start of the industrial revolution, everything that we have known to be true (this applies globally, don't worry!) has changed.
for the sake of this blog entry, and to maintain the current theme of this here blog.... let us focus on how sexuality and how we view sex has changed. with the rise of the flappers in the 20's, to the peak era of feminism in the 60's, and now, back to girls wanting to be traditional homemakers... (guys, you liked it all... how many of you DON'T get turned on by a girl that's "feisty"?) we've developed a society that boasts freedom of sex to the point where we not only eat and sleep it, we excrete it, as well! (no pun intended - for those of you sick enough to think of one)
ok, maybe i'm a bit too angry here... it's more frustration. let me give you some examples.
we've all heard about the whole "double standard" argument. i won't belabor it, but for those of you who are looking at your screen going "what the hell is she talking about" here :
if a guy sleeps around, he's "the man"; if a girl does, she's a slut. get it?
we've now gotten to the point in society where we see those who get married as traditional, old-fashioned people, and those who don't as progressive and forward-thinking. those who decide that they're "ready" (please, someone explain to me what that term means... i still cant' figure it out!) - for what, well, insert something here! - are indivduals who are in touch with their sexuality and are embracing their feelings. we consider those who decide not to have sex until marriage as suppressing themselves, and religious and well, i have heard the term "celibate" a few times... but those are priests (and only some of them at that!), people, not those who practice abstinence... look those words up!
i heard a guy tell a girl today, "well, he's a man, he's got to be coming to see her this weekend for a reason!" and he's right. for all that i tried to convince this poor girl that you know what, this one might be different... i can't.
and the reason come down to this: our society sees expression as action. some noticeable motion. what if the expression is a more general term?
don't like that line of argumentation?
fine, try this on for size: since when is it alright for us to judge a person who chooses to express their sexuality differently (no, i'm not talking only about homosexuals - i mean, someone who has a limit.. no matter where it is, on what they'll do with another) but not someone who decides to sow their proverbial oats? these terms, liberal and conservative... they're judgments and a form of prejudice, do you see?
a friend of mine, just to end off where i left last time... i was talking to her about the film wedding crashers.. cuz i liked it.. found it funny, someone witty and well, it's a love story, and i've become a sappy little girl since july.... anyway! she found it quite disgusting. hated how it was permeated with sex. and both these men are accepted and loved, and we find this funny and witty and brilliant! and yes, i realize that it's just a film... but it's a reflection of our society. and how disgusting is that?
well, to me: a heck of a lot!
but, i mean, who can blame us, right? chastity is a thing we think of only when we see an advert on a bus... and our only thoughts are "right... next?" in addition, society sees chastity and abstinence synonymously. let me review the definition of synonymous for you: the words have similar meanings, but are not interchangeable. to me, chastity involves abstinence, but goes beyond it. each individual will see how far beyond differently.. and well, how far i see it is a matter for me and well, any poor sap that comes my way...
since i hate the term dimension, i'll use it here....
another dimension of sexual expression lies in the relationship itself. the question here is: how much of an investigation of someone's character are you foregoing when you get physically involved? some might argue that you're getting to know the other person better. to those individuals: are you kidding me? you're merely trying to figure out how good they are in bed before you make a committment that you won't ENJOY! (and yes, that was me generalizing, and being judgmental... don't bother taking notes... you should know me better by now!)
a while ago, in a discussion with a friend, i was given some advice (along the lines of well, if you won't completely put out... you should at least.... well, we won't finish that sentence!) anyway, i was somewhat taken aback... i hope that my close friends can see my beliefs and understand my character enough to know that i will not change for anyone. however, i was recounting this experience to a friend of mine (who is, well, my spiritual twin), and i said at the end, "well, i suppose i should get used to it", and she replies: "no, you shouldn't have to get used to it, you deserve to get what you want, and what you want is to have a man who is on par with you, who understands where you're coming from, and is heading in the same direction as you are." those words really struck true for me, because that's what we all should have in life, right? someone who's at our level, understands us, and who's goals and ambitions you share.
i don't know. i could probably be way out in left-field (haha, HAD to throw in some BASEball... ouch... this is painfully bad... canadian humor, anyone?) and i could also, as usual, not be explaining myself properly... anyway, leave your thoughts... judge me as you will; i can take it, don't worry... and have a great day!!!
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5 comments:
ahahha congrats on learning how to turn on the title! ahaha also, whooo for being spiritual twins! ahah i totally agree with everything you said and acutally you did make more sense this time than you usually do :P eheh totally kidding, i love your way of writing (also side note, my teacher LOVED the french assignment that i showed you ahahha yesssss for bs!! ahahha)
stay strong, keep these blogs comin, and don't let ANYONE bog you down and do NOT, i repeat do NOT let people walk all over you...stay firm in your beliefs and dont be scared to take a stance. either people will accept it or shy away from it. and you know which kind of person you want around you. so no worries :)
~ samira
I think the problem with sexuallity is not in its ubiquitiousness but in its current message. I think religious types and others would have a much easier time with it were it not so... phony. I think our culture has done to sex what it has done to all other true human experiences. Wraped it up, airbrushed it and sold it back to us. When you think of sex you should not think of Pamela Anderson, One Night Stands and Sex and the City. You should think of a deep physical/spiritual connection that you can only really achieve that way. Yes I stand by that. If you think the only way to get to know somebody is on the mental side (Let's ignore the physical for a second) then you are only getting half the picture. The deepest, most profound connectin you can have with another person is to Make Love. So, having said that you can see that I too find the current sexual landscape disgusting. That is why I talk and joke (and give bad advice, I guess), about sex openly. it's time to steel it back from the corporation and make it human again. Let's not hide from it in shame, let's take it back and make it what we want it to be.
Since we are dealing with religious laws (ie. chastity) I would like to shed my perspective on the issue. The law of chastity to someone who is not a religious is a mere ideal, however, spiritual laws founded on true religion is where you really begin seeing any possible hope for the future of humanity. Consider in the time of Moses, when He established the Ten Commandments, it's my understanding that these laws are necessary to build a community; thou shall not steal...commit adultry. I mean these laws were really revolutionary at the time, no one had taught them before ("Oh you mean if I sleep with that man's wife he'll kill me"). Following Moses establishment the Ten Commandments, Christ told the story of the good Samaratan, and that usured in the fundamental teaching to love thy neighbour, and in effect established good relationships between communities. So now we have communities and a teaching that people should not show hostility toward each other if they belong to different tribes, the next step was taken by Mohammad when He built a nation. If one desires to understand why there are such laws in religion then that person has look at all of religions history. During Mohammad's time (600 AD) there was no concept of their being a planet, and different cultures; you probably would have died close to where you were born. However, consider Baha'u'llah's teachings in relation to the development of the world, the time has now come when we need to unite a planet. Nation building is complete. Baha'u'llah taught that the oneness of humankind in 1863, as stated before when Manifestations of God teach people the ideas and concepts they teach are truly revolutionary. The first time we had a picture of the globe was in 1969 (roughly). There's not one kid that hasn't seen a globe or a picture of the world now (I'm gerneralizing).
If you combine religious truth with the laws in them, then they make sense; however, if people insist on only viewing one aspect of it (the law of chastitiy) then well it does seem "phony." If someone is a true believer then the physical plane (the world) is not reality, the spiritual world is reality, and therefore, to build relationships one gets to know the others rational intellect, or in other words the soul. The way one does this is not through sex, because sex is a mere expression, but by seeing how an individual reacts in different situations, doing service and essentially just spending time with them and talking with each other.
The laws in religion are not meant to surpress people, but to protect and help them. These laws build communites and nations, and change according to the age. The time has come when we must either acknowledge that we cannot survive as individual nations with conflicting desires, and accept that we must build a world administrative order to protect each other. Only with these teaching is there any hope for the future of the world.
Sincerely,
Anonymous 2
t i really enjoyed reading this. you are very good at expressing your opinion intelligently.-sarah k
One criticism: you had mentioned that a promiscous male is "the man" and a promiscous female is "a slut". I must ask, however, who begins to call them these terms? In my experience, it is the camaderie of males that leads to the honourific title(The man) and the jealous and competitive nature of the female gender that leads to the stigmatic "slut".
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