a blog article i liked...

check it out!

jonathon has written a brilliant article that i think is a really astute observation of our society, and ourselves. i'm pretty sure he'll say that what he said is pretty obvious - and truly, it is... but it's expressed in a very interesting way. anyway - enjoy!

evenings with haji

well, for future reference - whenever you see a "Testing" post, it's because my account is messed up and decides to randomly "forbid" people (including myself) access to the blog. i'm not sure what the problem is, and i am not that computer literate, so we'll just have to make do with not knowing what's going on.
anyway, i decided against going out tonight so that i can do some work on lab report... and i took a break - watched a tv movie. the main characters were all artists. two of them were writers, one was a sculptor, a third was a musician and ahaha, the other wasn't an artist i guess - she was more into activism. the film, though, was about ego, and about how truly blinding it is.
but then i guess, it was also about knowing what you really want in life - and that comes from what you value and place importance on. the main character actually learns that she didn't realize what she truly valued - and i thought it was interesting, seeing as a lot of my conversations lately have been centered around knowing what one wants - and how to get it.
perhaps this sounds rather self-centered. i should clarify. you can want different things. so, perhaps, person x wants financial stability, person y wants social justice, and person z wants to dedicate his/her life to the progress of civilization. our wants can be quite different. what's interesting though, is that when those wants coincide with that which a human being truly needs - then, i think, that person ends up tapping into power that is greater.
in the end, it comes down to knowing yourself. personally, i'm at a point where i know more about biochemistry than about myself, so really, i'm no expert - but i know that knowledge of one's true self is extremely important to setting oneself on the right course.
and with that said - it is time i return to charts and graphs...

testing.. again

my blog account hates me

A few stray thoughts

ok, well, i have a several thoughts today, and i thought i would write them, seeing as how studying is definitely not happening at this point.... also, for those of you who have never met my family... i thought i would upload a few from a wedding we went to back in september....

anyway, so the above show my brother, sister and i.. eheh... anyway...

so, first off... last wednesday bore witness to our first snow - and blizzard - of the year. it was pretty crazy, because i'd planned a few appointments for myself during the day and evening, and so i asked my brother if i could borrow the car (this was monday) anyway.... come wednesday morning, there's over half a foot of snow outside.... and more is coming down... so it was an awesome adventure driving around... by noon there was at least a foot.... so i ended up shovelling our driveway (after digging/pushing out my car - it got stuck) and finding that there was still a layer of ice from the day before (freezing rain... and i KILLED myself on that...)

anyway, all this being said, my day was amazing in that it was my first time alone driving in a blizzard as such... first off - it is a TON of fun... you get to do all the fun stuff that you see on movies with your steering wheel going all over the place and such.... and... when your car gets stuck, you can be sure to have at least two or three men come and help you out! this was what got me most.... that through all the traffic and sliding backwards down hills and getting stuck in intersections and everything, people just helped each other out. i had guys come and push me out - patiently, i really must admit that i don't know what to do with my car when it gets stuck... still learning! - and as soon as it was done, they'd head off. i'd say thanks, they'd say no prob, and that was that. i really liked that.

this morning we had a memorial for my grampa. tomorrow marks one month since he passed away. i'd be lying if i said i don't miss him... but you know, i got to MC today... and give a talk on his life. (two months ago, i did this for my grandmother on my dad's side) and you know, that little bit of "doing something" really helped i think, in that it really made me feel like we'd done something for him.... and i've also been learning a lot as i reflect back on his life. i dunno, it was kinda cool, but i guess i don't really have the vocabulary to express what i mean really...

with all that... i wanted to discuss one of my favorite books - and one of the best lines in that book.... ender's game is the book. the line: "the enemy's gate is down" - it's what the main character says to his soldiers when all the odds are stacked against them... he orders them to finish the game as fast as possible (the goal is to disable enough of the opposing side so that you can unlock the enemy's gate). but he bends the rules, and sends his men to unlock the gate - taking the time to disable the other side would've caused the massacre of his army.

in any case, it's an interesting thought... one which implies that the ends do justify the means - but i'm not sure that this is true. often, when i get frustrated, my first response is to think of that line and just do whatever i have to to get through the situation - but when i think the situation through, i realize that if i do that, some spiritual qualities begin to get sacrificed in the process... so i am never quite sure what to do...

lately, i've been taking what i consider to be the "high road" but, to be honest, it feels like i'm bashing my head against a wall sometimes (ie. i get tested a lot, because the important things never come easily to me)... but now i'm thinking, i don't have the time to do that anymore... anyway, so i guess that's a question for you - what do you think? do the ends justify the means?

for those of you who have read ender's game... i apologize for the horrible explanation i gave above... to those who have not yet read it, i butchered that part of the story, but really, read it - it's a brilliant book!

supply and demand

well, at least a few people have left comments saying that they want me to write again... but the thing is, i've come to a total writer's block period of life. this is not to say that i do not have ideas stuck in the junkyard called my brain, but then i think about them some more and i'm like, well, what's the point of writing about that?!

altho, i do have friends that i write to often about my thoughts, so maybe it's the fact that i am actually having these discussions outside of my little blog that keeps me from writing.... but i am not sure

so i dunno... shall i make this heartfelt? thoughtful and crushing? hmm....

it's interesting because this writer's block is probably just in my head. i've learnt these past 6 months that our thought is our reality. what you perceive, what you respond to, how you respond, the reaction you cause in the other person - it's all a matter of your own thoughts.

this is interesting for me to learn, because i remember a time when a few friends and i would spend our breaks scaring fellow students by telling them that the world is actually mere perception... and so we're all figments of each other's imagination - but, ever the skeptic - i didn't take it any further. as in, i never paused to realize that if one were to try, you can change every situation into a more positive one by the power of thought alone. (note: i did not say totally positive - i said more positive)

for example, i was asking this same question (about how to change thoughts) from a friend of mine last night, and she proceeded to tell me about her evening. She had gone to the movies, and had parked her car. Admittedly, it was not perrrfect parking, she said, but it was between the lines and the like.... In any case, she comes back to her car, and finds a note on her windshield. On the note was something like "learn how to park, jackass". Now, this friend of mine could've chosen to get really really angry... or whatever... but then upon further reflection, she realized that perhaps Notewriter, let us call this person, had really bad humor... or was drunk? or was just an idiot... I mean, really. Listening to her tell the story, I thought, hmm, it sounds like she's not so hurt as she might have initially been. (And in case you think you wouldn't be frustrated if someone left you a note like that... Just think about all those times you've gotten a ticket. eheheh)

i've found that the same applies to school. i decided at the beginning of the year that i should start thinking more positively about life.... so i've been trying to approach everything in a spirit of learning - so something challenges me, and i try and find a way to make it push me further. however, the challenge really lies in keeping up this attitude. it's not enough to just try to change something - you have to persevere at it - energizer battery style... just keep on going and going and going and going...

i say that because i have some dreadful classes this term... just frustrate me (like french class in high school) these profs just don't understand that at the university level, there's a certain standard. in any case, i could rant on about them - but what would be the point in that?

well, that's all for today - just remember : thought = reality

testing 1-2-3

it seems that my blog url may have been deleted.... so this is a test to see if that indeed is the case

lol

well, after hearing about the toronto star's new ad campaign.. i figured i had to start posting again - just to make sure that they don't steal more of my ideas :P
ok, well, today is about willpower. or rather - a term i prefer - volition.
i've been thinking lately about what it takes to really do something you want to do, and i've decided that, in general, it is a matter of volition. (for those of you looking for exceptions as opposed to reading and seeing if i might actually have a point... yes, i realize that in some cases volition won't make things happen.. you can't wish a dead person to life) however - think about all those pesky habits you have that bug you to no end... often we sit at home and think: man, i HATE it when i do that - but do we actually DO anything about it... more often than not, we just keep on sticking to that same ol' habit.
now, what happens when that little habit starts getting in the way of things that you really do want... what then?
and then, we have to think - what actually causes volition to manifest itself? note: i don't say "create" because i don't think you can really create volition, i think it comes from within...
anyway, to all those students out there, if you're thinking: well, i really don't have any habits that are really affecting my life adversely... (let's put aside the general achololism afflicting our schools and universities...) think: procrastination. for me, this is a huge road block - and actually, i think it's probably from my parent's relaxed, chill attitude when it comes to things that, in my opinion, are worth getting done fast!
anyway... that's all for my junkyard today.

The attainment of any object is conditioned upon knowledge, volition and action. Unless these three conditions are forthcoming there is no execution or accomplishment. In the erection of a house it is first necessary to know the ground and design the house suitable for it; second, to obtain the means or funds necessary for the construction; third, to actually build it.

- 'Abdu'l-Baha

questions

well, here's a messed up one for all of you who are still out there reading. many of you have left for the summer - and well, some of you just plain don't live out here to start!
anyway, my question today is: why ask questions?
i've always loved to ask questions.. and i actually can't understand people who don't... which is unfortunate for me, i guess! and i don't mean... "to question" i mean "asking" - there's a difference.
in the first sense, i find that it means to undermine... you question what someone is saying to prove your own superiority. however, in the latter sense, you are striving to understand - to take ownership for the knowledge you have just acquired. i'll explain how to take ownership later....
but for now, i leave you with the above question!
take care - and i hope you all still have internet access!

blog break!

well, i must apologize for not posting in ages.. but i've been thinking a lot, and have become a bit of a recluse!
in any case, now that i've lost my ST to the ravages that are persian parenting (how's that for alliteration! eheh), i will have plenty of time to write - and no big thoughts, so really, this will be just fine... i think!
my question for today is: what makes music spiritual and uplifting or not?
i have media player on right now, and i've set it on a playlist that has a bunch of music that i've collected over the past year - mostly from what people have sent me, and some from stuff that i've ripped, etc. but nothing on this playlist is "religious" music. but i like the songs, and they do affect my mood or whatever... so what does it take to be considered "religious" music - or just normal everyday music?
i guess, yes, i can understand how some of the more... shall we say graphic pieces that pop music has come out with is totally NOT spiritual, but i mean, the line gets slightly grey when it comes to "butterflies and hurricanes" by muse - a song which is all about changing your life.
anyway, i won't belabor this point any longer! i'd like to hear your thoughts... if you're still around! it seems that everyone has left for the summer... or lost internet access! *sigh*

stray thoughts

i've been thinking a lot this past week about what makes individuals spiritually connected. most of you have probably heard me talking here or there about my spiritual twin... and that's one example of a person that i have found that is almost exactly like me... we are similar in the way that we talk, act and understand concepts/situations. (i use the world similar.. we're not EXACTLY the same, eheh)... but this phenomenon.... that is, finding a person that is similar to you, and who you can actually trust (the people most similar to us are the ones that know us best - and know vulnerabilities best as well!) is not uncommon.
when you do find that person..or people as the case may be, you might forge some sort of connection. and my question is just that: what makes people connected... so with your ST (or kindred spirit, as some might call it), what makes that person your twin?
see, we can all relate to each other to varying degrees. that's easy enough since empathy is a pretty fundamental emotion - even if modern day western society is working to destroy it! but what increases or decreases the degree to which we relate to each other? and is it possible to create those points of connection artificially? (so is it possible to make yourself relate to someone else?)
i'll write some more thoughts at a less ungodly hour of the morning!

shallow.. oh so shallow me...

well, folks, i've just walked a full day on the streets of downtown toronto... *in my defense, i did go to the art gallery, and tomorrow i plan on hitting up the ROM during supper or something*
so in the midst of overpriced "stuff"... i've come to the conclusion that the best way of dealing with the draw of consumerism is to not buy anything at all. however, i realize that while that's a good method of treating "shopper's syndrome" while travelling... it's not practical for life.
yes, salty hank, this means that everyone needs to shop at some point.
so my question for the day is this: how do you judge what price is justified for an item?
ex: value village vs. holt renfrew?

anyway, i await your comments.... let me say.. i like travelling alone much better than my current predicament.
UPDATE YOUR BLOGS!!!!

the little things...

they say that it's always the little things in life that get to us most. a cumulative effect... like ten fingernails on a chalkboard instead of just the one...
i've never quite understood why, and tonight i understand it even less, but it seems to me that if someone could develop an immunity to "the little things" - they'd be quite powerful.
it strikes me that every life changing experience also starts out with some small, miniscule act. and you would never have dreamed it possible at that fateful moment.. but a year later - looking back, you can see your errors for what they were.
and then, you're surrounded by your mistake. you have constant reminders... maybe other people don't realize that you see it as a disaster - and they remind you of it, inadvertently. it's never in a big way - maybe it's even in passing. the gods are cruel, afterall.
so here there's a word in the newspaper that triggers a memory, so you go for a walk to clear your head... and then a smell reaches your olfactory receptors (just for you, ST), and, disgusted, you decide to listen to some music... maybe if you activate another sense it might destroy the others - but no.. even there, more reminders...
friends, i believe i've just figured out why people go mad.
they say that closure is important in allowing people to move on and deal with their past. but i ask you: how is this possible? how is it possible to erase memories and emotions and thoughts?
of course, you will say, no, no, it's about dealing with it.
yes, fine deal with it... but how?
how do you deal with the little things? i mean, i can see how you can block this or that out.. or move on from some causative event... but the effect of a single "little thing" is never great - it is the cumulative effect of many of these "little things" that has the power to twist the minds of human beings. (yes, jonathon, i did not say "twist the minds of men".. note also, i did not give in to the radical feminist stereotype that i am by saying women instead of men or human beings - do i get kudose points for that?!?)
so do you see a resolution in sight?
i sure don't.

patefactum

by the way... my friend the pre-right honoUrable jonathon has started posting again.... go check out his site

- YHS

my thoughts have come back!

alright guys, haji's back and ready to start making you think about more than just stupid monkeys and making salty hank and jonathon get frustrated with each other....

i'm wondering what makes a person burn out, and what gets them inspired to live again. my st and i have come to the conclusion that people burn out when they lose hope.. or rather, lose the courage to pursue their goals.
here's a quotation to back that up:

courage is like love; it must have hope to nourish it. - napoleon bonaparte

now, so the thing is.. if burning out is you losing the will to go on with your hopes and dreams... then what can get you back in your personal 'fast track'?

anyway, i'll quit writing...
as polonius once said....
"Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit, And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief"

and i shall.

quotation of the WEEK

this one's for jonathon and salty hank. you both should know better than to fight over a silly blog post by someone like me!

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.
- Robert Wilensky

take care, boys.

for my old friend, salty hank....

hey SH - i lived in gibraltar for a couple of months last summer.. and i met someone that reminded me of you.... :P
interestingly enough.. when i compared your dna to his.. i found that they were more than 96% identical! go figure...
(btw. i did actually take this photo in gib. these furry creatures are native to the mountain... behind him, you can see the strait of gibraltar... and one day, i'll post a picture that is aimed to the left of harry over here, and you can see morocco!)
so the question of the day for you folks....
what IS the difference between a person like salty hank, and a monkey like harry? obviously humans and monkeys are different... yet our dna is so similar....

for the procratinators in the crowd....

i was bored a little while ago.. and i thought that today, i would do a blog entry in pictures.... i don't think words are necessary to explain these ones...



hahah, good luck with exams, everyone! remember: in the big scheme of things - none of this really matters!

hypocrisy galore

hy·poc·ri·sy ( P ) Pronunciation Key (h-pkr-s)
n. pl. hy·poc·ri·sies

1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
2. An act or instance of such falseness

...according to dictionary.com.... (just so i can say i wasn't plagiarising...)

i had a some friends over last night... and the topic turned to the old quotation i'm sure you're all familiar with "let deeds not words be your adorning"... it was interesting for me, because i've been faced with that all week - hypocrisy, that is.
i'm a biochemistry student - just finishing off my 2nd year, and interestingly enough, i'm beginning to meet a lot of my fellow majors in this last month of school. for those of you who do not know, biochemistry is a "feeder" to colleges such as medicine, dentistry, vet. med, etc. so of course, a lot of the students that i meet are pre-somethings and extremely competitive. i could care less about what a person wants to do with his/her life... and how they get themselves there.. well, i'll just try to get out of their way (i don't like being a doormat, thank you very much), but i do care why you're going to do something...
it struck me back in high school, too.. this attitude of "i'm going to be a doctor because it makes lots of money" - news flash for you, kids: you want money? go into business - or make a brilliant discovery (eg. invent your own DNA). professions such as medicine no longer pay what they used to relative to other professions. in any case, i'd hope, at least, that my doctor would care about who i am, as opposed to how many times s/he can make me visit him/her so that i can help fund the cruise trip that year!
so, last night, i'm talking to these friends of mine about hypocrisy - out of the blue.. i didn't bring it up. and today, thinking back on it.. i wonder, are there different levels of hypocrisy?
so, for example, is it worse for someone to go into a profession like medicine for the money, and not to help people.... or say, commit to an organization knowing full well you're never going to fulfill half of its requirements for members?
maybe i'm just biased towards certain situations, but i think that it must depend on your motivation.... so perhaps, your level of "falseness" is dependent on the instance in question, and to the magnitude of the effect it has on your environment...
however, if we go back to the definition above, it seems that there is no gray area here.. it's a matter of you either do as you say, or you don't, and it's as simple as that....
ideas? i'd like to hear them....

- a very confuzzled crazy haji

quotation of the day

If you want to understand the meaning of happiness, you must see it as a reward and not as a goal.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

for more on the meaning of happiness - see below

...for my most critical editor in life....

ah, rainy days....

well, yesterday was the first rain of the year. it was, allow me to say, brilliant. today, the sun is out, birds are chirping (i can hear them even with my window closed - soon, they'll be waking me at 4AM... the little buggers!!!.. i mean, i love the birds... *stupid magpies taking over silverwood!*) ok, right i digress....
its' a wonderful day out!
it's an interesting feeling.... as if, somehow, even the human population here is coming out of hibernation... stretching and opening their eyes for the first time all winter... (we've had about 2 months of clouds and blizzards - cut us some slack! when the irish say they hate rainy days.... i say to them... well, at least not EVERYTHING you see is white!)
and after the rain yesterday... see, rainy days... they seem to have a certain melancholy hopefulness to them. glad tidings, almost... some might even call it.... cleansing. it makes you ponder and look out the window and sigh.... (to my irish friends: i can see how this can get depressing if it's every other day at random times)
anyway, that was my ode to rainy days..... kindy wimpy and bleagh, but i tried!

in other news:
i've decided that april fool's day is not about the person who is tricked being the fool... but more about the trickster being foolish enough to find the trick funny. i pulled probably the worst prank possible on a friend yesterday morning (i was up early... and really bored!) only to find out that death had come knocking on this person's door on friday night. (apparently death's knock is: "shave and a haircut - two bits!")
and i recall... a few years back... a different friend of mine had gotten me good.... by telling me that her sister (who is a year older than i) was engaged. whoa boy, did that one get me good!
in any case, i'm wondering what you all think of the ol' poisson d'avril!
leave one.... or many...