crazy haji's thoughts and ramblings

unbelievable

2007-10-17T22:21:00.000-06:00

in case you might be interested...
this is dr james watson's opinion on human intelligence... i'm amazed that someone could say these things in our day and age. read for yourself.

thoughts?

a song to go with today's post

2007-10-17T20:38:00.000-06:00

Don't look in their eyes - Stabilo

Go now go get your guns
we'll all fight like cowboys and pray like nuns
then we'll dance around the open flames
if it gets too hot well we have no shame
no shame

they say we talk too much
cause nothing changes,nothing changes
and I say we don't talk enough
cause nothing changes, nothing changes
and oh, oh oh, oh oh

so we're here, sound the alarms
throw up your arms
we brought the entire army
and we're starving so don't try anything smart
theres plenty of ammunition and we've got our guards

look now he's on the run
i'm glad he tried its much more fun
if we chase him till the sun goes down
we can take him out with noone else around
no one else around, no one else around
no, no, oh no no

so we're here, sound the alarms
throw up your arms
we brought the entire army
and we're starving so don't try anything smart
theres plenty of ammunition and we've got our guards

stick around i got a hunch
we'll bomb this town and stop for lunch
and never,nevermind these awful cries
it's not as real if you don't look in their eyes

don't look in their eyes, don't look in their eyes, oh no
oh no no

so we're here, sound the alarms
throw up your arms
we brought the entire army
and we're starving so don't try anything smart
theres plenty of ammunition and we've got our guards

don't look in their eyes, don't look in their eyes, oh no
don't look in their eyes, don't look in their eyes, oh no

----------------
Now playing: Stabilo - Don't Look In Their Eyes
via FoxyTunes

To whom it may concern

2007-10-17T16:53:00.000-06:00

I just got out of a Native Studies seminar. Today was especially interesting, as our seminar leader announced that many students were just barely passing the participating component, the result being that people are being forced to talk. This is good; the discussion was much more lively! Anyway, we had read an article about decolonizing schools, though it really didn't provide any method of decolonization or say that it was even necessary... In any case, regardless of how non-commital the article was, we started to discuss the school system. Of course, my ideas are slightly radical, so I'm sure many students are now walking away going "man, does that kid piss me off".

Here's the case: a country with a large, marginalized population that is everyday attacked on the basis of race, language and culture, and has been for over 100 years. This population is now trying to empower itself, and is tired of being given solutions. That being said, a portion of that population, namely its young people are unsure as to what exactly to believe. The question comes up: should we even care about past wrongs? Can we not just move the hell along? Who am I talking about? Why Canada and its Aboriginal population, who else?

We look at a lot of stats in this course, and it all points to the need for transformation. Not only for social transformation, but also personal transformation. Of course, these are things that I cannot say in class. I suggested that all students, not just Aboriginal ones should learn about Aboriginal culture. So I got asked: why? and what should they learn about Aboriginals and their culture? I said in class that it's because of the racism that exists. But I don't think that person understood. Let me explain here.

I am not Aboriginal. I lived in an area of my city that is predominantly white-middle class. My school was so white that my Chinese French teacher would often ask me for the Iranian perspective to balance out the opinions in class. I think her intentions were in the right place, but really, it was racist, and I hated that class as a result. But you get the picture. That all being said, we did learn about Aboriginal people in History - but that's only because we had a French History class. None of my Anglophone friends learnt much about this population, and if they did, it was minimal. What I learnt, I have now come to realize, was Eurocentric and inaccurate. You know, if school is where we learn about stuff we don't learn at home, like other cultures, and on the news we hear bad news about Aboriginal people, and the "Aboriginal section" of the curriculum hasn't existed for long - tell me, how exactly are people to be able to understand them? Or anyone for that matter?

Do you think if my French teacher had understood that I just wanted to be normal that she would have put me on the spot so much? Did I ever have the guts to tell her off?

The thing is that we cannot allow misconceptions about others to continue. It doesn't matter who they are - prejudice, racism - you know, just plain old ignorance - it cannot go on. Our society is falling apart, piece by piece. Yes, maybe it is tough for people to hear that we have to learn about them, but you know, we have to learn about everyone. And maybe it's not that every student should be able to recite the alphabet in Cree, but more that children will grow up realizing that every person is a person in their own right, that they have a soul, that they are challenged and tested, just like I am or you are, and that we need to respect them, whether they live on the street or in a mansion or next door. You know, right now, many different cultures live in my area. No one knows zip about the person next door - they just know what's on the news, if that! So now, if my neighbors saw Iranians on television and thought I was like them, do you think they'd talk to me?

Next problem - how do we get there? How do we cause a change in the system? Is it possible? Aren't there forces that are propelling us in an individualist, profit-driven direction? If the answer to the last question is "yes", then isn't resistance futile?

This is why I talk about personal and social transformation. The idea is not my own - it is clearly written all over the Baha'i Writings, and that's where I've been learning about this from. See, here's the thing - you can't transform either one on their own or "first". Our world's systems are based on the fragmented idea that you can... quite frankly, that makes no sense. Let me give you an example: UV radiation, it is widely acknowledged, can cause cancer. What happens is that the radiation messes up our DNA - even just one tiny, infintesimal base in our DNA in one cell can result in a tumor forming. When that mutation (the messing with the base) occurs, the entire system in the cell is affected, and that results in bad news - the cell either dies or it becomes immortal and divides, hence the cancer... The tumor, in turn takes over the body, crushing organs, destroying blood vessels - it is so destructive that the interior of the tumor actually dies because nutrients can't get to it. So we can see how small changes to an individual component of an environment can result in changes in the environment. Similarly, we see how global warming, a change in our environment, is affecting plant and animal life, which is affecting how we live, which affects, etc etc etc.... So now, if we see so many examples in nature, how is it that we don't see that society and the individuals within it function in the same way? How could we ever imagine that we could create a just and fair society if the individuals within it, even just a small segment, are corrupt? How could you say "I am truthful" when the place you work in requires you to bend the truth, or even to lie? You see, we have to change both society and individual at the same time...

And I'm running out of time, so I'll continue this later.

today's funny

2007-10-08T18:42:00.000-06:00

this is a conversation between my sister (farah) and i today - she happens to be 3 and a half years old.

me: farah, make sure you finish your food
farah: i already did (note the obvious inability to align her understanding with reality - her plate was full of food)
me: uh...
now, in many previous conversations i have explained to my sister that if she eats, she will get big and strong...
farah: taleleh, are you small?
me: no, i'm not little, farah
farah: are you big?
me: yes
farah: then why are you eating?
[at this point my father and i are dying with laughter]
farah: what's so funny?

solutions that people forget about

2007-09-19T16:22:00.000-06:00

so i'm well into the school year now... it's only midway through the second full week of classes and if you asked me about summer holidays i'd probably reply with a confused stare... anyway, today, i went to a seminar in which the participants had a discussion about solutions for the problem of "the inner city".
we all basically agreed that yes, the people themselves have to build up their own community... the question then was: how. how do we get people motivated? do we, "the other" - should we - get involved? if yes, how do we get involved? what should we do? if no, then do we just wait? and what are we waiting for? what will an "improved" inner city look like? then the question comes to mind: how will the people themselves, whom we know are trapped in a state of hopelessness, act on their desire to improve their lives? and if we believe as a society that humans are basically animals, then should we even care about "improving the lives of others"?
see, here's the basic problem with any kind of discussion at this level. if we are to deny the existence of God, of spirituality and of the nobility of the human spirit - all three of which are inseparable, as the existence of one demands the existence of the other two - then why are we concerned about improving our lives? without God our lives become a matter of survival, and for the duration of my life, i bet the situation in my town's inner city will not get bad enough to affect me.
now, personally, i do not agree with this standpoint. God does exist. every human being is created by God and therefore is noble, and so spirituality is just a matter of fact. humanity is one - so what affects anyone else, affects me. i've never really understood how in the social sciences we can ignore the interaction of the individual and the environment with each other. how is it possible that we know that a snow storm affects our pattern of life, and yet we do not understand that when someone stabs someone in front of my face, i'm going to be in shock for the rest of the day? it doesn't make any sense. we live in a society that boasts freedom of expression, and yet everywhere i turn, people are suppressing their emotions - their desire to do better, to help others, to reflect the qualities and attributes of God - such as love, justice, kindness, generosity...
anyway, the discussion was fruitless, of course. these seminars are designed only to help give students insight into the topic, and not actual experience and understanding. now, you tell me, how are we going to learn about the current plight of the first nations peoples in any region, without actually seeing their plight?
and that, dear reader, is our cream-of-the-crop education system. future leaders - i command you: ARISE!

whoops... i forgot, that doesn't even work in the wizarding world. even voldemort when to school and practiced.

meet wilson

2007-08-29T22:43:00.001-06:00

Hello, world. Meet the current love of my life, Wilson (above). Well, actually this isn't all of him, this is just his N-domain, and actually his name is longer than "Wilson", but I think Wilson will do for now... maybe even Willy might be funny.

For the next year, Wilson and I will be doing joint projects in the lab, enjoying each other's company and doing things like binding him to others and seeing what his 2d mnr - sorry, I mean, n-m-r - might just look like. Using my super duper x-ray glasses, also known commonly as "YHS reading specs", I will get to do cool things and maybe just create a formula to world peace. That's right, world peace from a bunch of red, blue and yellow squiggly lines. It's like Martha Stewart minus the jail time, and plus the biochemistry. :P

Anyway, that's all for now, folks. I'll be posting more as the year goes on... I think this year shall prove to be awesome... that, and my favorite joke buddy is off to grad school, so I'll be bored out of my mind, and will have to post my commentary here... no more passing doodles of ATP factories in class...

an awesome video about teaching children!

2007-06-15T14:52:00.001-06:00

quotation of the day... too funny (and true)

2007-05-06T00:14:00.001-06:00

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
- Bob Hope

coffee craziness

2007-04-17T11:39:00.000-06:00

well, i got up this morning and decided (as usual) to grab some coffee and i found myself driving to the tim's close to my place - i figured i could drive-thru it up - and to my dismay, well, and alarm, i found the line up was actually causing traffic in the street! this is how much people are addicted to tim's coffee... i find it amazing.
so then i had to come to school and get coffee - which i did... and anyway, then i rolled up my rim (after having finished drinking cold, watered down coffee.. it was nasty....) and it said: please play again - so then a thought came to my mind... what if we could "roll up the rim" on exams? it'd be like a raffle to see if you could get an automatic pass or something.. i think that'd be pretty cool... and i imagine that students would go for it, and the university could make tons of money, and then maybe they can lower tuition and higher less angry librarians, and raise the entrance average so that we don't get idiot arts students watching movies loudly in the library... freaks!

anyway... those are my thoughts... coffee makes people crrraazy.

things i learnt yesterday

2007-04-16T21:22:00.000-06:00

in terms of food additives, the term "contaminant" does not include insect fragments, rodent hairs and other extraneous matter

ok.. so... what about whiskers?

smoking and deep sea fishing are more dangerous than food additives

oh - and a survey!

i want you all to say - phonetically : eee-pine (like pine tree) - frein ... now faster, eeepinefrein

question: if you are a forth year (honors) life science student (like a biochemist maybe...) and you pronounce "epinephrine", "eeepinefriene", should you be allowed to graduate?

leave a yes or a no in the comments section

The above is not at all, in any way, shape or form, based on a true story, or on the life of a close friend/classmate of mine. Any similarities you might see are surely a figment of your crrrazy imagination and not a reflection on me writing about someone else.

sneaky study

2007-04-16T21:03:00.000-06:00

The phone rings.
"Hi?"
"Hey. It's me."
"Heeey, where are you?"
Nonchalant: "In the hospital."
"Oh my God! Are you ok?!"

It was this conversation that got me sneaking into the body repair facility late at night - sometimes as late as 8pm - to study. One little secret vertical passageway would take me up to the 13th floor - the others didn't have a number 13 button - and there I would find small furnished cubbyholes that were build for the more frugal body mechanic (mec) student. At one end there was a chapel so that you could pray you didn't fail exams... and at the other end... well... I haven't the guts to venture that far (I ordered guts on ebay, but they got lost in the mail)... There were even wash facilities with two doors, so that a creepy mec could never corner you - it would take two creepy mecs to do so!
I would sneak to this place witha friend or two (the cubbyholes you sickos not the wash facilities!) ...and close the door and read my books in peace. In peace from the trivium students watching funny people on their light books in the book repositories; in peace from gates being randomly locked; and from scary, angry cleaning staff that slam your desk when you are writing and say "oops! Sorry, I guess I pushed that chair in too hard" three times over! The only problem: I am not a mec.
I would always look over my shoulder to see if someone was coming to tell me to leave the premises. I was sure that I was wearing a gigantic sign on my back saying "theorist" but it was just the exact same letters embroidered onto the back of my new zip-up.
Then one day when I was alone in my cubbyhole, I heard steps approaching quickly... then slowing down... then stopped in front of my door. The doorhandle turned - I looked up, ready to pack my books and to throw in my towel in this battle of life - and a lady stuck her head in, saw I was there, and said "oh, sorry" and left. Today, I have gained a place to study.

In your face, university!

well, i must say....

2007-04-13T19:39:00.000-06:00

that i am very much wanting to write but never having much to say.... it's like filling radio silence. i was on my friend's radio show once.... and i was at a total loss for what to say, so i was like don't tell them i'm here! needless to say, i was introduced, i said a very lenthy "hullo" and then quickly gave her a track to play (oh harry and the potters! *tear*) this is kinda like that - you see a blank screen and you think, what the heck am i going to do with this.... unfortunately for both you and i.... the answer is not much. sigh

anyway, i'm at school right now, in the main library - frustrated out of my mind that i got locked out of the building that houses my locker and one of my reserve textbooks. baaah tell me: what kind of university shuts down at 5pm during final examinations and then proceeds to lock doors to its health sciences building?! you'd think they'd care about the med and dent students more than the arts students (the arts building is still open). and extended hours - i laugh at your lame attempt to convince me of that.. here i am, sitting in the main library with arts students who spend more time laughing and watching videos (without headphones) than studying... you know what? i'm going home. with a 3 year old and parents on my case - even my house is quieter and less hectic than these people.

i have other less appropriate words for this university... but i'll end this blogpost here.

and they wonder why we get such low grades... IDIOTS!

aha! THIS is what i need to do with my life!

2007-04-12T18:45:00.000-06:00

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.
- Ellen DeGeneres

So I'm wondering how many of you can see a cool little handwritten font, instead of the usual times or whatever that I've been using. If you can see it, please let me know. If not... sigh, back to the drawing board it will be for me. In any case, I've discovered a new found love - web design. That's right, my friends, I think I shall drop out of school, forget science and what not - and devote my life to making cool web pages and photography like every other sorry student out there. Take THAT my 100% final!

Also, for those of you who CAN read this font - I wish very much that my real hand writing can look like this. I actually have a doctor's scrawl... I attribute this to my inability to think straight - it ends up affecting everything because I can't keep up with the profs and their crazy talk eheh. Today, I was told by a very kind friend of a friend that bad handwriting is the mark of a genius. Sigh... I also wish that I were somewhat a genius.

Apparently, I'm also not very genius at making this whole blog font thing work - so far this font is not showing up for anyone... I should've listened in grade 7 when they taught us the basics!

Anyway, I should get back to studying about sulfites...

i found this amusing :P

2007-04-11T22:26:00.000-06:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

today's learning

2007-04-10T18:29:00.000-06:00

well, i've been studying some more - and so i have a few fun facts for you all (ahah, say that 10 times fast!)

if you hear: "nitrile levels increased following glucosinolate consumption" that means: "we gave them a toxic dinner, and then measured the amount of poison in their bodies
ok, so i'm taking a food additives and toxicants class. at one point we were learning about isothiocyanates, a compound which can become the poison cyanide in the body. the prof gave us a list of reasons why it is bad for us, and then has at the bottom of that list, a bullet stating that the effects of this compound on humans is not known, as no one's really looked into studying it. so now, here's my question for you - if we're talking about food toxicants, wouldn't it be normal to expect that we'd want to know what the compound does to a human? just a thought. maybe we don't... i dunno..
oh, and for all you lab rats out there - remember, do not, i repeat DO NOT autoclave your food. i realize that you want to get rid of tannins just as much as i do - but autoclaves are not the right means to that end.
oh, and if you want to peel a potato, it's never been easier - a simple alkali steamer will go pop, and there goes the peel claen and easy. no more hand cramps from peeling during those wonderful family-dinner holidays all women hate...

and now, a piece of advice for those of you who like to text. most cell phones (or mobiles for those of us not in north america) are now equipped with a silent function, in which you can push buttons all you want without making touch-tone phone sounds.

and that's all for now...

bits of info

2007-04-08T21:52:00.000-06:00

so i was studying today (surprise, surprise...) and i came across a few things in my notes that i thought might be of some interest to you:

cyclamates, a type of non-nutritive (which also means non-caloric) sweetener, are also useful as a means to cause testicular atrophy - remember that for the next time he cheats on you! :P
chemically synthesized also seems to mean "not found in nature". get that.
there is such a thing as "chinese restaurant syndrome" - it's when you go insane and convince yourself that Chinese food is bad for you.
gossypol - which is cotton-seed oil - can work as a male contraceptive. it also causes major organ failure.. but that's beside the point - just think, a male contraceptive. no more pill, patch, iud, etc for the woman... brilliant.. although, can men handle the responsibility?

anyway, that's all for tonight in terms of funny things i learnt from my notes... i'm sure i'll have more soon enough!

quotations of the day

2007-04-08T10:32:00.000-06:00

here are some quotations i read today that i thought were pretty cool...

Therefore, you must thank God that He has bestowed upon you the blessing of life and existence in the human kingdom. Strive diligently to acquire virtues befitting your degree and station. Be as lights of the world which cannot be hid and which have no setting in the horizons of darkness.

and...

Therefore you should put forward your most earnest efforts toward the acquisition of the sciences and arts. The greater your attainment, the higher your standard in the divine purpose. The man of science is perceiving and endowed with vision whereas he who is ignorant and neglectful of this development is blind. The investigating mind is attentive, alive; the mind callous and indifferent is deaf and dead.

the standard question

2007-04-05T21:08:00.000-06:00

well, my life has become a matter of procrastination, and as such, i deem it necessary to write as many blog posts as is required to compel me to study out of boredom of blogposting. you, the reader, naturally, may desire to destroy me because of such horrible ramblings as are on this blog.. however, i must say, i'm not the kind of person that puts up a fight... so.. anyway, that is a digression...

needless to say, last night i was presented with a case in which a friend compared getting stuck in traffic to going runnin with the old man... (ahah, the way that is worded it sounds like the old man can't actually run and is slower than the don valley parkway - BUT! ...read on.. eheh) she was saying that she always has really good excuses for why she isn't doing something she should be doing. i suggested to her that not doing homework to go running with the pops is slightly different than being stuck in traffic and extremely late to pick up one's date. the question, i said, is a matter of having a control to compare to, and in this case, all the variables are different... and that, dear reader, is not the way an experiment is done.

so, we go on to our topic of being funny. i would suggest that our control be a lack of funny. an empty vector of sorts. in the case of a student, it would entail a set of class notes devoid of any absurdity or wit. in the case of an employee it would be a grey cubicle. in such cases, anything out of the ordinary can be used as humor... and therefore, anyone could make it funny. so there's no fun in that! eheh

what is often hilarious is irony. take today... people were driving past me on the freeway... probably yelling profanities at the old idiot driving that... anyway, you get the point. i - one of the most speed-loving creatures on this earth - had to drive slowly! like a normal old person. it was painful. see, now that's funny. oh, and the reason for this actually stems from my impatience... i ended up breaking part of my putt putt - and so now he has a nearly mirror-less driver :P anyway: moral of this story: i need a car that can withstand my need for a rush.

hmm.... kinda like the type of guy i need... ahem...

you know though, there is an inherent flaw in the need for a control - you always need something to compare the variable to - and so you never know absolutely "this is the answer", you just have a series of guesses that lead you to believe "this".

anyway... i need some feedback on something so that i can poke fun at it! now if this were a lecture.... :P

right so i forgot to say...

2007-04-05T12:10:00.000-06:00

for those of you who actually read this blog and then go so far as to read the comments, you may have noticed comments regarding monkey sex and its funniness. after hearing back from the involved parties about the situation which led to comments regarding monkey sex i feel it my duty to write a message to you.
the situation in question involved an analysis of canadian blood services' recent questionnaire change. the new questionnaire makes some interesting assumptions. i'm not too sure what conclusions they can draw from the form; however, i did check out the info sheet on "what you need to know to give blood". it would seem that they are now being precautious to the extent of discrimination. now, i won't go into the details - i suggest you take a look at it for yourself, it's really quite funny.. but one of the questions on the questionnaire is if you have ever worked with monkeys or come into contact with the bodily fluids of monkeys in your past or present job. hence, the monkey sex.
i find it amusing to think that cbs needs to ask such interesting questions in such public places as the tunnel at my university - could you imagine sitting in a hallway with hundreds of students bustling by, your friends standing around you and you checking off a box and the nurse being like "i'm sorry, you don't fit our criteria for eligible blood donors" for a reason such as you having been in France. amazing.
excuse me if i'm not surprised at why we don't have enough donors - i'm suprised that we have any donors at all! the way the questionnaire is set up - i am barely eligible because i've been travelling outside of canada (not including the US) in the past 3 years - yeah, like inner city NYC is safer than a little irish village.
anyway, so ends my rant...

the above all being said, i understand that cbs is trying to cut back on cost of testing blood and throwing away infected blood, etc - and promoting the health of those individuals requiring blood, which really could be any of us. my purpose in the above commentary is merely that i find the subject of their questions and their implications rather curious and i am stating that. that is all.

phew - what a crazy post!

2007-04-05T09:24:00.000-06:00

so the last blog post involved me trying to be funny... and well, impressing one of my readers (which worked) however, it has taken me a few days to recover from various comments that i have received such as "this blog wasted my life" and "you're a sell-out, tah" and other such mean things.
is it that bad to want to make someone smile? to be funny? to fit into this world?

after a few tearful nights... i have decided to continue on my funny tangents...

ok, so if anyone knows how to make an online survey and insert it into a blog post, that would be great - in the meantime, i will share my initial hypotheses on the questions posed in my previous blog post. they are as follows:

how you write funny things into a blog post?
is it possible to be funny in a blog post?
what constitutes "funny"?
how can we make a "funny" standard?

i am sure that other funny questions will come up as we meet little hiccups along the road to discovering more about this concept of humor. questions such as: is God a funny sorta Guy, and other such things. (seriously, i'm sure people will be getting hiccups as i write this, somewhere in the world.. and who knows? i might run into them.)

so in looking at these questions, it would be wonderfully spectacular if you could post back your own answers and thoughts, and then we could create a bit of a dialogue. just remember - this is my blog and therefore everything you write here will be under my name.. i might acknowledge you if i think your contribution was important... but probably not.

anyway, so i think that about covers the introduction... and you'll have to wait for the experiment to incubate for a few hours before i can analyze them and then give them back to you.

and... i also have a little bit of work to do so... i'll post more later!

apparently serious haji is just not funny

2007-04-03T16:46:00.000-06:00

I've been the class joke for a long... loooong time - but my ridiculous self comes out more in small group situations in which i am permitted to joke.
in university, this self became allowable the day the BSA president said to me: "Tahereh, your minutes are boring. Make them funny." And since that day, the minutes were semi-funny.
The peak of the funny came this past term - when that same prez ended up in my classes everyday. What God could've been thinking I am not sure - but the result is that all of our notes now are riddled with the most absurd comments. I have maintained for years that I have ADD - this term has only proved that point to me.
So, today, I was excited to point out my blog to the prez - here on out to be called Figs. Figs read the previous blog post and the regret from having wasted a full 30 seconds to read was clear. "T-money," she says. "This is not funny. I expected your blog to be funny." And she was thinking, I thought she was funny - who is this un-funny writer? Has T-money been lying to me about her funniness? And so began Figs' questioning of my integrity...
And so here I am, in the library, falling asleep - worried that my Figs is not amused enough at my ponderances. One must ask oneself: how can you write funny things on a blog post? Is this possible? What method can we go by to examine what counts as funny and what does not?
Like DNA microarrays, I think that we might require some sort of funny-standard by which we can compare all humourous forms of expression.
I'm also wondering what Figs could find as funny. My biochemistry and chemistry notes mostly have sarcastic or absurd comments/questions written on them. For example: today in chemistry we learnt that the scientific method is a load of garbage; all of the drugs we learnt about today were the result of either accidents in the lab, or mistakes that we now have regulations against. (Flemming for example, discovered penicillin because he left his lab's windows open when he went on vacation - so when he came back, and all his bacteria were dead, he was confused, and then discoverd penicillin.) So basically, the modern lab is made so that you can't win a Nobel prize - no one these days is allowed to be stupid enough to do so.
Anyway, back to the question of the funny - there are also different types of funny... like satire or sarcasm (I recently saw a cartoon of a squirrel arguing with a guy working at Starschmucks - the guy says to him: it's customary to leave a tip, sir - and the squirrel says back: so's heterosexuality, but that doesn't seem to faze you!) - but usually these forms of funny are insulting to others (as the above is) and so it's not very good... then there's stupid funny - like Zoolander (I think this one speaks for itself).. there's cute funny (like a shirt my brother bought for my little sister that says on it: It wasn't me, it was my evil sister - with a picture of two stick figure girls, one with a happy face and one with an angry face) then there's painful funny - like a bad fall... as I am prone to do... (eek! slip and slide!) or shake your head funny (like "overheard at" websites).
And then, there's bad blogposts like this one, specifically designed to make you shake your head and say wow, that kid's an idiot - and then think, well.. either that, or she's a major geek! - take your pick...
smiling yet?

a blog post to begin a new wave of blog posts

2007-04-01T14:39:00.000-06:00

so, i've been told that i should start posting again.... and well, today, it is cloudy out, and i am studying-ish, so i thought, why not?
i've pulled out the old laptop from underneath an inch of dust (kidding, it sits on my desk and is almost always on) - and well, here i am.. typing absolute nonsense.
let's see...
to be honest, i haven't posted anything in ages because i've been experiencing a bout of writer's block. however, i think one of the reasons why i've been so unsettled this past little while is that my little blog outlet was missing... so maybe this'll help. maybe not... we'll just have to see.
i have gotten to read a few books over the past year, and they are a lot different than the books i used to read. latest additions to my bookshelf (other than the books i've been reading for french class): the tipping point (malcolm gladwell), and the world is flat: a brief history of the twenty-first century (thomas l. friedman)- yes, you read correctly - the twenty-first century. brilliant books, actually. the former deals with the question of trends and social behavior changes - and how to induce them to a certain extent, and the latter discusses the changes that are going on in the world from a global level.
i find it really interesting to read about our world and the social forces that are currently at play. i'm sure some people really do not care - and i can understand to a certain extent why they would not care - but for me, i see things going downhill... taking a nose dive fast and it needs to change. now, here there are two ways of reflecting on the path of disintegration that humanity is on - the first involves looking at social structures and individuals separately, and pointing the finger (and solutions) at one or the other; the second looks at social structures and individuals in an integrated manner: namely, that one influences the other in a type of dialectic.
ok, so i know that at this point, my ST would say: YHS - we're lost in your junkyard of thought - so i'll make a statement: i think that if we're to change society and make it follow a less self-destructive trend, we need to look at how we can affect both individuals and the social structures that these individuals are a part of - ourselves included.
take for example, blogging. as i recall, when i was in high school, blogging started out as a type of online diary type of thing, where you could write your "deep thoughts" for a group of people to see. when i started blogging last year, i decided to make it more of a forum for my observations on society and my environment, than about my personal life - and so have many, many people. it's gotten to the point where bloggers (the more hardcore ones - i'm nowhere near that!) actually have an effect on our society. news agencies are beginning to realize that they have competition. heck - dan rather should've watched his back a bit more closely...eheh - anyway, i'm on a tangent (to learn more about what i'm taking about, just go read some of friedman's book) but the thing is that our structure in society - that we go grab a newspaper, or turn on the TV, or radio for news - is changing. people are learning that there is this whole new side to the world that they can see through the eyes of individual bloggers, rather than through the lenses of news broadcasting agencies (which may i add are all owned by a handful of individuals) and so these news broadcasting agencies are starting to change their approach to news. BBC is a great example. they now have an open forum in which people can comment on world events, and share pictures and videos that they may have - but the reality is that the influence of bloggers on the traditional news agency (TNA) and the reaction of the TNA on the bloggers, will lead bloggers to do more things that will affect the TNA's - and you see, it's like a feedback loop that is constantly expanding (for all you geeks out there - this is called a positive feedback loop)
so if we're out to change the world - we need to affect both individuals and social structures - and i think it's a lot easier than we think it is... and that's part of the reason why i'm not so worried about it all - i'm doing a lot to make sure it does change, but i'm not worried if you know what i mean.
and those are my thoughts for today....

a blog article i liked...

2006-11-18T00:10:00.000-06:00

check it out!

jonathon has written a brilliant article that i think is a really astute observation of our society, and ourselves. i'm pretty sure he'll say that what he said is pretty obvious - and truly, it is... but it's expressed in a very interesting way. anyway - enjoy!

evenings with haji

2006-11-17T23:14:00.000-06:00

well, for future reference - whenever you see a "Testing" post, it's because my account is messed up and decides to randomly "forbid" people (including myself) access to the blog. i'm not sure what the problem is, and i am not that computer literate, so we'll just have to make do with not knowing what's going on.
anyway, i decided against going out tonight so that i can do some work on lab report... and i took a break - watched a tv movie. the main characters were all artists. two of them were writers, one was a sculptor, a third was a musician and ahaha, the other wasn't an artist i guess - she was more into activism. the film, though, was about ego, and about how truly blinding it is.
but then i guess, it was also about knowing what you really want in life - and that comes from what you value and place importance on. the main character actually learns that she didn't realize what she truly valued - and i thought it was interesting, seeing as a lot of my conversations lately have been centered around knowing what one wants - and how to get it.
perhaps this sounds rather self-centered. i should clarify. you can want different things. so, perhaps, person x wants financial stability, person y wants social justice, and person z wants to dedicate his/her life to the progress of civilization. our wants can be quite different. what's interesting though, is that when those wants coincide with that which a human being truly needs - then, i think, that person ends up tapping into power that is greater.
in the end, it comes down to knowing yourself. personally, i'm at a point where i know more about biochemistry than about myself, so really, i'm no expert - but i know that knowledge of one's true self is extremely important to setting oneself on the right course.
and with that said - it is time i return to charts and graphs...

testing.. again

2006-11-13T21:33:00.000-06:00

my blog account hates me

A few stray thoughts

2006-11-12T20:25:00.000-06:00

ok, well, i have a several thoughts today, and i thought i would write them, seeing as how studying is definitely not happening at this point.... also, for those of you who have never met my family... i thought i would upload a few from a wedding we went to back in september....

anyway, so the above show my brother, sister and i.. eheh... anyway...

so, first off... last wednesday bore witness to our first snow - and blizzard - of the year. it was pretty crazy, because i'd planned a few appointments for myself during the day and evening, and so i asked my brother if i could borrow the car (this was monday) anyway.... come wednesday morning, there's over half a foot of snow outside.... and more is coming down... so it was an awesome adventure driving around... by noon there was at least a foot.... so i ended up shovelling our driveway (after digging/pushing out my car - it got stuck) and finding that there was still a layer of ice from the day before (freezing rain... and i KILLED myself on that...)

anyway, all this being said, my day was amazing in that it was my first time alone driving in a blizzard as such... first off - it is a TON of fun... you get to do all the fun stuff that you see on movies with your steering wheel going all over the place and such.... and... when your car gets stuck, you can be sure to have at least two or three men come and help you out! this was what got me most.... that through all the traffic and sliding backwards down hills and getting stuck in intersections and everything, people just helped each other out. i had guys come and push me out - patiently, i really must admit that i don't know what to do with my car when it gets stuck... still learning! - and as soon as it was done, they'd head off. i'd say thanks, they'd say no prob, and that was that. i really liked that.

this morning we had a memorial for my grampa. tomorrow marks one month since he passed away. i'd be lying if i said i don't miss him... but you know, i got to MC today... and give a talk on his life. (two months ago, i did this for my grandmother on my dad's side) and you know, that little bit of "doing something" really helped i think, in that it really made me feel like we'd done something for him.... and i've also been learning a lot as i reflect back on his life. i dunno, it was kinda cool, but i guess i don't really have the vocabulary to express what i mean really...

with all that... i wanted to discuss one of my favorite books - and one of the best lines in that book.... ender's game is the book. the line: "the enemy's gate is down" - it's what the main character says to his soldiers when all the odds are stacked against them... he orders them to finish the game as fast as possible (the goal is to disable enough of the opposing side so that you can unlock the enemy's gate). but he bends the rules, and sends his men to unlock the gate - taking the time to disable the other side would've caused the massacre of his army.

in any case, it's an interesting thought... one which implies that the ends do justify the means - but i'm not sure that this is true. often, when i get frustrated, my first response is to think of that line and just do whatever i have to to get through the situation - but when i think the situation through, i realize that if i do that, some spiritual qualities begin to get sacrificed in the process... so i am never quite sure what to do...

lately, i've been taking what i consider to be the "high road" but, to be honest, it feels like i'm bashing my head against a wall sometimes (ie. i get tested a lot, because the important things never come easily to me)... but now i'm thinking, i don't have the time to do that anymore... anyway, so i guess that's a question for you - what do you think? do the ends justify the means?

for those of you who have read ender's game... i apologize for the horrible explanation i gave above... to those who have not yet read it, i butchered that part of the story, but really, read it - it's a brilliant book!

supply and demand

2006-11-04T19:49:00.000-06:00

well, at least a few people have left comments saying that they want me to write again... but the thing is, i've come to a total writer's block period of life. this is not to say that i do not have ideas stuck in the junkyard called my brain, but then i think about them some more and i'm like, well, what's the point of writing about that?!

altho, i do have friends that i write to often about my thoughts, so maybe it's the fact that i am actually having these discussions outside of my little blog that keeps me from writing.... but i am not sure

so i dunno... shall i make this heartfelt? thoughtful and crushing? hmm....

it's interesting because this writer's block is probably just in my head. i've learnt these past 6 months that our thought is our reality. what you perceive, what you respond to, how you respond, the reaction you cause in the other person - it's all a matter of your own thoughts.

this is interesting for me to learn, because i remember a time when a few friends and i would spend our breaks scaring fellow students by telling them that the world is actually mere perception... and so we're all figments of each other's imagination - but, ever the skeptic - i didn't take it any further. as in, i never paused to realize that if one were to try, you can change every situation into a more positive one by the power of thought alone. (note: i did not say totally positive - i said more positive)

for example, i was asking this same question (about how to change thoughts) from a friend of mine last night, and she proceeded to tell me about her evening. She had gone to the movies, and had parked her car. Admittedly, it was not perrrfect parking, she said, but it was between the lines and the like.... In any case, she comes back to her car, and finds a note on her windshield. On the note was something like "learn how to park, jackass". Now, this friend of mine could've chosen to get really really angry... or whatever... but then upon further reflection, she realized that perhaps Notewriter, let us call this person, had really bad humor... or was drunk? or was just an idiot... I mean, really. Listening to her tell the story, I thought, hmm, it sounds like she's not so hurt as she might have initially been. (And in case you think you wouldn't be frustrated if someone left you a note like that... Just think about all those times you've gotten a ticket. eheheh)

i've found that the same applies to school. i decided at the beginning of the year that i should start thinking more positively about life.... so i've been trying to approach everything in a spirit of learning - so something challenges me, and i try and find a way to make it push me further. however, the challenge really lies in keeping up this attitude. it's not enough to just try to change something - you have to persevere at it - energizer battery style... just keep on going and going and going and going...

i say that because i have some dreadful classes this term... just frustrate me (like french class in high school) these profs just don't understand that at the university level, there's a certain standard. in any case, i could rant on about them - but what would be the point in that?

well, that's all for today - just remember : thought = reality

testing 1-2-3

2006-09-28T18:08:00.000-06:00

it seems that my blog url may have been deleted.... so this is a test to see if that indeed is the case

lol

2006-09-23T00:52:00.000-06:00

well, after hearing about the toronto star's new ad campaign.. i figured i had to start posting again - just to make sure that they don't steal more of my ideas :P
ok, well, today is about willpower. or rather - a term i prefer - volition.
i've been thinking lately about what it takes to really do something you want to do, and i've decided that, in general, it is a matter of volition. (for those of you looking for exceptions as opposed to reading and seeing if i might actually have a point... yes, i realize that in some cases volition won't make things happen.. you can't wish a dead person to life) however - think about all those pesky habits you have that bug you to no end... often we sit at home and think: man, i HATE it when i do that - but do we actually DO anything about it... more often than not, we just keep on sticking to that same ol' habit.
now, what happens when that little habit starts getting in the way of things that you really do want... what then?
and then, we have to think - what actually causes volition to manifest itself? note: i don't say "create" because i don't think you can really create volition, i think it comes from within...
anyway, to all those students out there, if you're thinking: well, i really don't have any habits that are really affecting my life adversely... (let's put aside the general achololism afflicting our schools and universities...) think: procrastination. for me, this is a huge road block - and actually, i think it's probably from my parent's relaxed, chill attitude when it comes to things that, in my opinion, are worth getting done fast!
anyway... that's all for my junkyard today.

The attainment of any object is conditioned upon knowledge, volition and action. Unless these three conditions are forthcoming there is no execution or accomplishment. In the erection of a house it is first necessary to know the ground and design the house suitable for it; second, to obtain the means or funds necessary for the construction; third, to actually build it.

- 'Abdu'l-Baha

questions

2006-05-31T23:40:00.000-06:00

well, here's a messed up one for all of you who are still out there reading. many of you have left for the summer - and well, some of you just plain don't live out here to start!
anyway, my question today is: why ask questions?
i've always loved to ask questions.. and i actually can't understand people who don't... which is unfortunate for me, i guess! and i don't mean... "to question" i mean "asking" - there's a difference.
in the first sense, i find that it means to undermine... you question what someone is saying to prove your own superiority. however, in the latter sense, you are striving to understand - to take ownership for the knowledge you have just acquired. i'll explain how to take ownership later....
but for now, i leave you with the above question!
take care - and i hope you all still have internet access!

blog break!

2006-05-26T10:52:00.000-06:00

well, i must apologize for not posting in ages.. but i've been thinking a lot, and have become a bit of a recluse!
in any case, now that i've lost my ST to the ravages that are persian parenting (how's that for alliteration! eheh), i will have plenty of time to write - and no big thoughts, so really, this will be just fine... i think!
my question for today is: what makes music spiritual and uplifting or not?
i have media player on right now, and i've set it on a playlist that has a bunch of music that i've collected over the past year - mostly from what people have sent me, and some from stuff that i've ripped, etc. but nothing on this playlist is "religious" music. but i like the songs, and they do affect my mood or whatever... so what does it take to be considered "religious" music - or just normal everyday music?
i guess, yes, i can understand how some of the more... shall we say graphic pieces that pop music has come out with is totally NOT spiritual, but i mean, the line gets slightly grey when it comes to "butterflies and hurricanes" by muse - a song which is all about changing your life.
anyway, i won't belabor this point any longer! i'd like to hear your thoughts... if you're still around! it seems that everyone has left for the summer... or lost internet access! *sigh*

stray thoughts

2006-05-06T02:05:00.000-06:00

i've been thinking a lot this past week about what makes individuals spiritually connected. most of you have probably heard me talking here or there about my spiritual twin... and that's one example of a person that i have found that is almost exactly like me... we are similar in the way that we talk, act and understand concepts/situations. (i use the world similar.. we're not EXACTLY the same, eheh)... but this phenomenon.... that is, finding a person that is similar to you, and who you can actually trust (the people most similar to us are the ones that know us best - and know vulnerabilities best as well!) is not uncommon.
when you do find that person..or people as the case may be, you might forge some sort of connection. and my question is just that: what makes people connected... so with your ST (or kindred spirit, as some might call it), what makes that person your twin?
see, we can all relate to each other to varying degrees. that's easy enough since empathy is a pretty fundamental emotion - even if modern day western society is working to destroy it! but what increases or decreases the degree to which we relate to each other? and is it possible to create those points of connection artificially? (so is it possible to make yourself relate to someone else?)
i'll write some more thoughts at a less ungodly hour of the morning!

shallow.. oh so shallow me...

2006-04-27T16:39:00.000-06:00

well, folks, i've just walked a full day on the streets of downtown toronto... *in my defense, i did go to the art gallery, and tomorrow i plan on hitting up the ROM during supper or something*
so in the midst of overpriced "stuff"... i've come to the conclusion that the best way of dealing with the draw of consumerism is to not buy anything at all. however, i realize that while that's a good method of treating "shopper's syndrome" while travelling... it's not practical for life.
yes, salty hank, this means that everyone needs to shop at some point.
so my question for the day is this: how do you judge what price is justified for an item?
ex: value village vs. holt renfrew?

anyway, i await your comments.... let me say.. i like travelling alone much better than my current predicament.
UPDATE YOUR BLOGS!!!!

the little things...

2006-04-21T00:10:00.000-06:00

they say that it's always the little things in life that get to us most. a cumulative effect... like ten fingernails on a chalkboard instead of just the one...
i've never quite understood why, and tonight i understand it even less, but it seems to me that if someone could develop an immunity to "the little things" - they'd be quite powerful.
it strikes me that every life changing experience also starts out with some small, miniscule act. and you would never have dreamed it possible at that fateful moment.. but a year later - looking back, you can see your errors for what they were.
and then, you're surrounded by your mistake. you have constant reminders... maybe other people don't realize that you see it as a disaster - and they remind you of it, inadvertently. it's never in a big way - maybe it's even in passing. the gods are cruel, afterall.
so here there's a word in the newspaper that triggers a memory, so you go for a walk to clear your head... and then a smell reaches your olfactory receptors (just for you, ST), and, disgusted, you decide to listen to some music... maybe if you activate another sense it might destroy the others - but no.. even there, more reminders...
friends, i believe i've just figured out why people go mad.
they say that closure is important in allowing people to move on and deal with their past. but i ask you: how is this possible? how is it possible to erase memories and emotions and thoughts?
of course, you will say, no, no, it's about dealing with it.
yes, fine deal with it... but how?
how do you deal with the little things? i mean, i can see how you can block this or that out.. or move on from some causative event... but the effect of a single "little thing" is never great - it is the cumulative effect of many of these "little things" that has the power to twist the minds of human beings. (yes, jonathon, i did not say "twist the minds of men".. note also, i did not give in to the radical feminist stereotype that i am by saying women instead of men or human beings - do i get kudose points for that?!?)
so do you see a resolution in sight?
i sure don't.

patefactum

2006-04-19T18:28:00.000-06:00

by the way... my friend the pre-right honoUrable jonathon has started posting again.... go check out his site

- YHS

my thoughts have come back!

2006-04-19T18:20:00.000-06:00

alright guys, haji's back and ready to start making you think about more than just stupid monkeys and making salty hank and jonathon get frustrated with each other....

i'm wondering what makes a person burn out, and what gets them inspired to live again. my st and i have come to the conclusion that people burn out when they lose hope.. or rather, lose the courage to pursue their goals.
here's a quotation to back that up:

courage is like love; it must have hope to nourish it. - napoleon bonaparte

now, so the thing is.. if burning out is you losing the will to go on with your hopes and dreams... then what can get you back in your personal 'fast track'?

anyway, i'll quit writing...
as polonius once said....
"Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit, And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief"

and i shall.

quotation of the WEEK

2006-04-18T09:11:00.000-06:00

this one's for jonathon and salty hank. you both should know better than to fight over a silly blog post by someone like me!

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.
- Robert Wilensky

take care, boys.

for my old friend, salty hank....

2006-04-11T12:10:00.000-06:00

hey SH - i lived in gibraltar for a couple of months last summer.. and i met someone that reminded me of you.... :P
interestingly enough.. when i compared your dna to his.. i found that they were more than 96% identical! go figure...
(btw. i did actually take this photo in gib. these furry creatures are native to the mountain... behind him, you can see the strait of gibraltar... and one day, i'll post a picture that is aimed to the left of harry over here, and you can see morocco!)
so the question of the day for you folks....
what IS the difference between a person like salty hank, and a monkey like harry? obviously humans and monkeys are different... yet our dna is so similar....

for the procratinators in the crowd....

2006-04-11T11:57:00.000-06:00

i was bored a little while ago.. and i thought that today, i would do a blog entry in pictures.... i don't think words are necessary to explain these ones...

hahah, good luck with exams, everyone! remember: in the big scheme of things - none of this really matters!

hypocrisy galore

2006-04-08T17:15:00.000-06:00

hy·poc·ri·sy P Pronunciation Key (h-pkr-s)
n. pl. hy·poc·ri·sies

The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
An act or instance of such falseness

...according to dictionary.com.... (just so i can say i wasn't plagiarising...)

i had a some friends over last night... and the topic turned to the old quotation i'm sure you're all familiar with "let deeds not words be your adorning"... it was interesting for me, because i've been faced with that all week - hypocrisy, that is.
i'm a biochemistry student - just finishing off my 2nd year, and interestingly enough, i'm beginning to meet a lot of my fellow majors in this last month of school. for those of you who do not know, biochemistry is a "feeder" to colleges such as medicine, dentistry, vet. med, etc. so of course, a lot of the students that i meet are pre-somethings and extremely competitive. i could care less about what a person wants to do with his/her life... and how they get themselves there.. well, i'll just try to get out of their way (i don't like being a doormat, thank you very much), but i do care why you're going to do something...
it struck me back in high school, too.. this attitude of "i'm going to be a doctor because it makes lots of money" - news flash for you, kids: you want money? go into business - or make a brilliant discovery (eg. invent your own DNA). professions such as medicine no longer pay what they used to relative to other professions. in any case, i'd hope, at least, that my doctor would care about who i am, as opposed to how many times s/he can make me visit him/her so that i can help fund the cruise trip that year!
so, last night, i'm talking to these friends of mine about hypocrisy - out of the blue.. i didn't bring it up. and today, thinking back on it.. i wonder, are there different levels of hypocrisy?
so, for example, is it worse for someone to go into a profession like medicine for the money, and not to help people.... or say, commit to an organization knowing full well you're never going to fulfill half of its requirements for members?
maybe i'm just biased towards certain situations, but i think that it must depend on your motivation.... so perhaps, your level of "falseness" is dependent on the instance in question, and to the magnitude of the effect it has on your environment...
however, if we go back to the definition above, it seems that there is no gray area here.. it's a matter of you either do as you say, or you don't, and it's as simple as that....
ideas? i'd like to hear them....

- a very confuzzled crazy haji

quotation of the day

2006-04-02T08:33:00.000-06:00

If you want to understand the meaning of happiness, you must see it as a reward and not as a goal.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

for more on the meaning of happiness - see below

...for my most critical editor in life....

ah, rainy days....

2006-04-02T08:00:00.000-06:00

well, yesterday was the first rain of the year. it was, allow me to say, brilliant. today, the sun is out, birds are chirping (i can hear them even with my window closed - soon, they'll be waking me at 4AM... the little buggers!!!.. i mean, i love the birds... *stupid magpies taking over silverwood!*) ok, right i digress....
its' a wonderful day out!
it's an interesting feeling.... as if, somehow, even the human population here is coming out of hibernation... stretching and opening their eyes for the first time all winter... (we've had about 2 months of clouds and blizzards - cut us some slack! when the irish say they hate rainy days.... i say to them... well, at least not EVERYTHING you see is white!)
and after the rain yesterday... see, rainy days... they seem to have a certain melancholy hopefulness to them. glad tidings, almost... some might even call it.... cleansing. it makes you ponder and look out the window and sigh.... (to my irish friends: i can see how this can get depressing if it's every other day at random times)
anyway, that was my ode to rainy days..... kindy wimpy and bleagh, but i tried!

in other news:
i've decided that april fool's day is not about the person who is tricked being the fool... but more about the trickster being foolish enough to find the trick funny. i pulled probably the worst prank possible on a friend yesterday morning (i was up early... and really bored!) only to find out that death had come knocking on this person's door on friday night. (apparently death's knock is: "shave and a haircut - two bits!")
and i recall... a few years back... a different friend of mine had gotten me good.... by telling me that her sister (who is a year older than i) was engaged. whoa boy, did that one get me good!
in any case, i'm wondering what you all think of the ol' poisson d'avril!
leave one.... or many...

question of the day: education

2006-03-30T11:56:00.000-06:00

well, folks, i guess we've come to a conclusion about the question of "what is happiness".

the answer, aptly stated by one "s" is : happiness = warm bath
stay tuned for more insightful answers to the critical questions of life.

education is necessary to wholistic human development. DISCUSS.

good luck with that one everyone.. go ahead and sign anonymously or not if you like.... i'm sure everyone would love to hear what you say... i'll start writing back too, i promise!

*sam - you'd BETTER comment!

the second holocaust

2006-03-28T23:35:00.000-06:00

not to take away from the wonderful discussing happening one post down (i plan on adding to it soon enough) but this link just got sent to me. the author implies that a second holocaust might be in its embryonic stages at this very moment.
i'll let you judge for yourselves. feel free to comment...and since it seems that we like anonymous comments... please, by all means, be my guest.

question of the day

2006-03-25T18:09:00.000-06:00

alright..
in addition to the questions below... i would like to ask the following.... (this has come up in more than one recent conversation.... eek!)

what is happiness?

and if that doesn't cause what a good friend of mine calls a "brain fart".... i don't know what will!
but write your thoughts.. sign them anonymously if you're just that self-conscious....

initiating contact

2006-03-25T13:27:00.000-06:00

Here are a couple of photos I thought were slightly interesting... I was messing with my camera yesterday and found a few interesting "modes"... sam.. the one at left is just for you! stay tuned for more! (sorry for the formating... blogger and I are not getting along very well today....)
In any case.... I wanted to discuss well, several things, but I won't bring them up just yet....
for today's post, i thought i'd go back to my "seinfeld" motif.
my title for this blog entry "initiating contact" sounds a bit awkward, i realize, however, i think it suits this entry perfectly.
anyway, so, my question for the day is:

what is the procedure on the "call back"? or, in this disgustingly technological age, "msg me, sometime, eh?"

i do believe this was actually discussed on seinfeld - but it was in regards to the morning after... as in, so you have a "great" night with someone... then you're obligated to call them back, etc etc..
in my case, i'm speaking a lot more generally... for example, many people say "yeah, i'll give ya a call sometime" - friends! not just some person you go out on an awkward date with... or one of my friends does the "i'll call you right back, ok?"
now, i must admit, i am very much "contact" shy. so i feel weird calling even my best friends - what if they're busy, or don't want to talk or... a million what ifs! however, if i tell you i'm going to call, chances are, unless something stupid happens, that i will.
on the other hand... people that go through the horrible experience of leaving me a message (with my parents or voice mail).... well, good luck on getting a call back from me... i'll do everything in my power to avoid it. excuses, staring at the phone.... perhaps even dialing and then hanging up.. ahaha (i can even SEE sam saying aww, tah)
in my defence, I KNOW i'm not the only one out there with callerphobia. not to be confused with cholera, although both are potentially deadly. eheh
anyway, let me know your thoughts.

handsblog

2006-03-22T21:59:00.000-06:00

in an effort to impress me, jonathon has posted the most updates in one day to date - earning him a place in guiness record history.
might i say, dearest jonathon, if this feminist were possibly lesbian, she would consider going straight just for you....
ahahahahaha
more on feminism later.

by the way, his posts really are quite funny. OAW is too.. but they're two different classes of funny. which makes them both funny! so you should check them both out.. links are to the right.

of course, a note...

2006-03-21T20:48:00.000-06:00

well, scroll down and you'll find my latest update of poem of the week. a friend of mine put in some requests today about possible topics i could write on, and i plan on fulfilling my promise to him. so rumi it was. i opened up my book to this poem and to "form is ecstatic" (note: the titles are given by the translator, coleman barks - when rumi wrote, it was just a flow of writing.... his volumes of poetry have no beginning or end).
personally, i like "form is ecstatic" better... but i decided to put "wake and walk out" up.. mostly because it discusses the need to investigate truth.
however, my opinion is beside the point.. i'll let you have a read over it and leave some comments.. then perhaps i'll explain what i think rumi is talking about....

Wake and Walk Out

2006-03-21T20:39:00.000-06:00

By: Rumi

If I flinched at every grief, I
would be an intelligent idiot. If

I were not the sun, I'd ebb and
flow like sadness. If you were not

my guide, I'd wander lost in Sanai.
If there were no light, I'd keep

opening and closing the door. If
there were no rose garden, where

would the morning breezes go? If
love did not want music and laughter

and poetry, what would I say? If
you were not medicine, I would look

sick and skinny. If there were no
leafy limbs in the air, there would

be no wet roots. If no gifts were
given, I'd grow arrogant and cruel.

If there were no way into God, I
would not have lain in the grave of

this body for so long. If there were no
way from left to right, I could not

be swaying with the grasses. If
there were no grace and no kindness,

conversation would be useless, and
nothing we do would matter. Listen

to the new stories that begin every
day. If light were not beginning

again in the east, I would not now
wake and walk out inside this dawn.

overheard at western

2006-03-21T16:00:00.000-06:00

i would also like to point out to you a new link in my links section.... overheard at western is my latest favorite site... second only to my own blog. :P
check it out. it rocks the socks off handsblog!
KIDDING!

my sister and i

2006-03-21T15:38:00.000-06:00

i've been told to find shots of me smiling. here's one for now... you people do realize i had to go back almost a YEAR to find one? hehe i'm kidding... but really...
i'll update with something decent later tonight...

my blogger and i

2006-03-15T23:43:00.000-06:00

well, sorry bout that... blogger and i have been having some interpersonal difficulties. fortunately, they seem to be resolved at the moment.

my question for you tonight is this: why do we do what we do... in short: what makes us humans tick? and then think on a smaller scale: what makes you tick?
it strikes me, as i sit here, dying of sleepiness... that the immediate reply to the above question is 'well, it's important to...." mr. x - or myself, or whoever... but then, why is it important to that person?
for example, i'm currently studying biochemistry... it's important to me yes... actually, i'm loving my classes - but what makes it important to me? (by the way, i DO know why it's important.. my question is general. i.e. this is not a life issue for me!)
another example... this one completely different... you know that irritating thing person y does? why do they do it? why is it that my brother taught my sister to say "ahhh" after she takes a sip of water?
you see, while humans are creatures of habit (hence this blog)... we still have quite a bit of control over what we do.. therefore, i submit that we allow certain actions to become subconcious, but that we do, in reality, have quite a bit of control.
anyway, i've lost my train of thought... and well, since my writing is more of a junkyard of thought, i doubt that any of you understood what i'm trying to get at regardless, so meh.

take care all

newspapers, editors, and God???

2006-03-06T17:01:00.000-06:00

well, this past friday, (most of you know this story from personal experience, i realize), every student at the university of saskatchewan got an email from the president himself demanding that the sheaf, the university's student paper, formally apologize to all students, faculty and staff for publishing a comic entitled "capitalist piglets" and not publishing the comics of the Prophet Muhammad.
i read this and was like "what the hell is he going on about? comparing capitalists to a Prophet?" i think i thought a few curse words as well, and then got over it and was like, meh, even our president's on crack.
the weekend went on, and i hopped onto the bus this morning and an acquaintance of mine (mr. x) sits down in the seat in front of me and we start to chat. he mentioned the email from the prez, and i was like, "yeah, why's he so for publishing those comics of Muhammad??" and mr x is like, what? didn't you SEE what they published?
dear friends, my university's student paper was stupid enough to write that they were not going to publish any of the comics portraying the Prophet Muhammad, out of respect, etc... and then, published the most blashemous (and i've travelled, folks, i've seen my share of blasphemy.... can anyone say father ted???) most blashemous, disrespectful, explicit (as in i don't want my sister going anywhere NEAR those comics) and wrong comics (yes, more than one) about Jesus Christ Himself. i dare not recount what they've portrayed the Son of God as....
all this.... published on Ash Wednesday.
you'd think maybe they could've done the standard "pick on feminists due to international women's day" instead!
so here's the thought of the day, folks... what has led our society to such decadence that it is drawn to portray not only great historical figures, but Messengers of God, in such a manner that would've been demeaning to any individual... i, personally, cannot understand it.
and so that's that for the sheaf and i. it's officially sunk in my mind.... i mean, before i was like, yeah, it's trash.. but so's everything else... but no, this.. this is a new low.
i agree with jonathon. we should make a bonfire out of this week's papers. (the fools didn't even remove the paper from the racks.... that's how i got a look at them...)

trapped... with myself!

2006-03-05T23:03:00.000-06:00

hey everyone.. well, i don't normally do the whole "talk about emotions" kinda thing.. but this is as close as i'm going to come to it i hope....
sam has been a loving ST and gotten me to get my ass off msn and into my books... so i'm basically under study-arrest (very similar to house arrest and cardiac arrest..) and tonight, i even started on the coffee.. it's disastrous, i know. but with the fast and all, i find that i'm just not motivated during the day, and at night i'm like: must work!
anyway, the moral of this story is this: most of you have one of my many email addresses... USE THEM and also leave comments on this here's blog... i am going to die if i'm going to stick out the no-msn thing till my last final.. which is on the 22nd of april... *gulp*
i will be updating this blog more regularly.. i want to get back to my poem of the week.. and possibly add in quotation of the week as well.. or of the day, whichever works....
stay tuned this week for a commentary on international women's day (march 8).
anyway, i must be off..
check out the links i have up.. there's some pretty interesting stuff there.. and quite a diverse array of blogs, and websites! ...i'm a particular big fan of news with herr heinz and of views from central canada... *also note... the link titles i've put up are not the actual titles of the sites/blogs necessarily.... so don't judge these sites by their links... *that cliche was for you, sam!

take care everyone!
and if you live in saskatoon.... have a safe and not too stuck time... (i've been getting stuck all week, and driving like matt damon in bourne supremacy... i just need the soundtrack now!!!)

more junkyard photos

2006-02-27T20:20:00.000-06:00

my friend... has graciously sent me a few photos that more accurately describe my state of thought... "this is more junkyardy, tah" she said...

this one is called "pile of crap" - she thought it was very well suited to my post.

and the following... just relates to the amount of crap that is there...

junkyard of thought

2006-02-25T22:49:00.000-06:00

well, i've been told by several people these past few days that my writing is extremely difficult to sift through. my initial response to most of these people: quit being so lazy.
but then, and forgive me for saying this, i was told by one of my closest... well, i guess you could call her a friend, by one of my closest friends that my way of thinking is not a "train of thought" as one would hope in normal circumstances, but a "junkyard of thought".
of course, being who i am, i find this statement quite fascinating, and obviously quite true (for the record, i am not afraid of the truth. i am, however, afraid of what people like to pass as the truth - see freemind is dead) so, for this blog post, i want to try to find out what constitutes a "junkyard of thought", prove to you beyond a doubt that that really is all that there is in my mind, and then see what kind of an answer i'll get from you folks!

now, the term train of thought suggests that there is a tangible link between one idea or concept and the next, and that it is presented in such a fashion. this goes to the heart of the five-paragraph essay, which we all had to write at some point, and are still struggling to escape. so as you can see from the train shown above here, usually these ideas will be old, traditional, black and coal-run steam engines (ie. not very fast)
however, even slower are those rusty, old pieces of metal that you will find in a junkyard. the picture at right shows a perfect example of the types of trains found in my mind. (i believe you can also find them in some communist countries as well... and in dundurn.) as you can see, these trains are old, rusty, and unlinked.. and three out of the four would have once been engines... lending power to the other cars and pulling them through it all. my thoughts are very much like this junkyard. they could have once done some service to the world, but now they only pollute, are being degraded and are extremely unpleasant to see.
now, my friends that cannot understand my writing probably find this to be true.
the only thing that scares me is this: to those of you who think you can understand me better by reading this blog... what does that say aboug me in general???

the above is dedicated to the one who cleans out my junkyard. you know who you are...

new post.

2006-02-23T21:30:00.000-06:00

well, it strikes me that my posting has become quite haphazard (sorry for the spelling shawn and sahar... i'll say this: to shawn, i'm persian, excuse me; to sahar, i'm canadian, please, allow me to beg for your pardon) (alternatively, if i did spell haphazard right... hah! in your faces! - not really....)
anyway! moving SWIFTLY onwards.... saskatchewan as it were...
right, so my posting is quite random these days. i apologize to my loyal readership that no longer includes even samira. *sniff, sob... almost tear... so therefore, i've decided to write more often, as my goal of having a brilliant readership which consists of the liquid crystals in this display has been accomplished... (and also because a good friend of mine insists that i write more)
today, i have two thoughts. the first is about books, and the second is about dreams (as in goals and aspirations)
*also, may i ask that those of you who do not yet speak french learn damned quickly.. i really don't know how much longer i can keep the one language only thing up... my brain's too screwed up for that!
last week, i was honored to receive a few books... and after having read most of italo calvino's "if on a winter's night a traveller", i'm beginning to see books in a different light. see, they've always been this other world that i've escaped to (as most persian children will do... especially in the area that i live in) but books are extremely personal. i remember, back when i was 12, my uncle kasra gave me two books - pride and prejudice, and david copperfield. two books which have graced my bookshelf, and brought honor to my library.... and with which i hope never to part! and it's funny, because they've really affected me. david copperfield i still have not finished, 7 years after the fact... but pride and prejudice i've read dozens of times, (it's even travelled with me), and it has greatly influenced my life and my relationships with other people... (to all those guys who say they don't know what women want.... read pride and prejudice. trust me. it's all there) how can i explain this..
ah yes.. teegan, sahar and i. (i hope you two will not mind my using your names... feel free to yell at me later).... us three are quite the little group when it comes to music. sahar and i, well, we have quite similar taste... but that's mostly because i think, we're similar in a few ways... i personally, like her taste in music mainly because most of it is rock/punk/slightly pop type stuff.. and i like to blast my brain cells dead as opposed to drink them dead. now... the other day, teegan and i were out... and teegan had made a mixed cd, and she stuck it in my cd player for a friend of ours to listen to... she made a comment along the lines of "tahereh doesn't like my music, she hates it, and likes sahar's type of music." now, the thing is this: i poke fun at both girl's taste in music, mostly because that's what i do best - and me being honest is, well, quite a hard thing! however, if i ever did take the time to actually listen to both types.... (let me add that sahar's burnt me so many cds that that's my cd collection right now... so teegan, really!) haha, no it struck me that music, no matter what type it is, is quite personal.. to the extent that it occured to me that i do not like people to hear or see my humble collection.... teegan and sahar are both confident people, and so they are proud to show off most of the music they like, and state it like a fact: THIS is good music.
now, the same applies to books. my collection is quite odd, really.. a mishmash of scifi, poetry by the likes of blake and rumi, religious texts galore (from various faiths), textbooks, history... classic novels by such noted authors as chopin, austen, moore and conrad... it's by no means complete, and i have a lot that i need to add to it but it also does not include all the books that i have read in my life.... and to most of you, i'd be hard pressed to admit to what does and does not appeal to me. the reason, i guess, is simple, it's a bit of a back door into my life... isn't it? and is it not so with all art forms?
what about the paintings and posters that hang on my walls? what does that say to you about me? or the sheet music on my shelf... and the films next to them?
so now we come to the idea of sharing art with others... i find it's hard enough to give someone a cd, or a novel that i think they should read... and then i worry about giving them something i've written myself... yikes! it's like you're opening a door for them... one which perhaps should not be opened.
in any case, so i received a few books.... all from the same source.. and it strikes me as interesting, because i wonder why these ones? i'm positive that the giver could not imagine what the feelings of the receiver would be upon receipt of the pieces... so that could not have been his motivation... so then what was it? (note: to answer this question, all necessary information has been given... hehe no tricks.)
in any case, i've completely lost my train of thought... must read more of "in a winter's night a traveller"...
i've also been wondering today about dreams... and destiny... one's Personal Legend as one author puts it... actually... i'm sorry... my mind's a bit too convoluted to write about this just now...
perhaps tomorrow...
ah, here's a question for you, however....
how much should one sacrifice for one's goals?

oh valentine's day...

2006-02-13T07:07:00.000-06:00

well, today is the day before that oh-so-horrible day... valentine's... disgusting really... the most pointless of all holidays... well, perhaps there are more pointless ones.... no, actually, i can't think of any just now..
in any case... you all know the usual characteristics about this time of the year... disunity.... anxiety... pain... commercialism... pressure... depression, as well, probably. i find this all very fascinating...
i, personally, barely remembered that vday was this week - until my friend aired a radio show that was basically an "ode to vday".. and well, this same friend keeps on reminding me about it... and while her and i are quite similar, i guess on this point we differ... whch is interesting because i really don't know what to attribute it to. i'm not any more calm, cool or collected.. and i certainly do not have her confidence about life... so i can't figure it out.
in any case, i find this quite fascinating... that a holiday so secular we no longer know its true roots - or even have much of a myth to go by - can have such an influence over us that we actually think that on this one day everything should be about romance and love.
i know what you're going to say to that... it's my first thought as well. our society is quite commercial and consumerist and vday is merely another commercial break... however, i do wonder if there is more to it. because with this day... you either hate it or you love it - and you can cross between the black and white so that if a person hates it one year, they might love it the next.. just depending on their life situation.
anyway.... it's way too early in the morning for me to be any more thoughtful than i am...

Bedside Manners.

2006-02-05T03:31:00.000-06:00

you know, it's funny. doctors, and i do this all the time, are always ragged on for how little "bedside manners" they have. they're expected to have this considerate, caring demeanor and to know exactly what facial expression to have at exactly the right time... so when a patient doesn't get the treatment they expected.... well, it's obviously the doctor's fault, right?
so it is with other things in life... a friend of yours will do something you didn't expect them to do - maybe said something to you that was out of line... or behaved in a manner completely opposite their personality... so you ask yourself "who the hell is this kid that i thought i knew so well?" .. you don't stop to ask "why is he/she acting this way?"
my point is this: when someone does something unexpected, our reaction should not be to lash out at the individual for being unpredictable or going against their responsilibilities or whatever... but it should be one of loving-kindness.. soothing almost.. what if the person's reason was escape? or fear? or out of love?
did you stop to ask?
i know this one kid that'll stop an argument or a discussion when it gets too loud... his brain just shuts down, and all you can get from him is an "ok" or "as you wish". and it's weird, because even just a year ago, he would've punched back that much more harder.... but now, you couldn't have slapped him and gotten a more adverse reaction.
weird, no?
but i wonder, if you even just take the time to give the kid a hug, and ask him what's goin on.. will he react in the same way? (btw, for brevity and clarity i've used the pronoun "he" - the kid in question, however, is not necessarily a male).
my point is this: before you get mad at the doctor, friend, or whoever who does something that you didn't expect - be a little compassionate... ask yourself what on earth could've gotten him to do this... and be a little more soft spoken... you might just be surprised at the results...
and his justification might even be reasonable!

snow day? ...stress relief

2006-01-26T00:22:00.000-06:00

you know, i go to lunch often in the cafeteria at STM, one of our catholic colleges (i believe we have more than one, no? i don't know...) at the u of s.. .and as i sit there, sipping my soup.. for their soup is so wonderful.... mmm.... soup....
anyway, there are always these little cards from some health group at school... (an affiliate of the USSU, i do not know...) you know, asking you how your menstrual cycle is going, whether you've got meningitis.. the usual... perhaps a costlysaurus or two in there....
this week: STRESS AND ANXIETY
do you feel stressed?
do you have troubles breathing? troubles focusing? studying?
etc....
let me just say, for the record.. i've only read stupider questions in my lifestyles class - do you feel suicidal? (hullo! do you really think i'm dumb enough to get myself landed in counselling???)
anyway, so the plan here is this:
you want stress relief? you feel like life is taking you under?
here are some real life solutions
1. do not, i repeat, do not go out and find yourself a significant other - this only leads to stress developing into hypertension. and trust me, you don't want hypertension at your age....
2. drink water - not coffee, kill the earl grey, and folks - alcohol... not the way to go (and i say this out of medical expertise... and well, concern.. heheh - i AM allowed that, right?)
3. focus on the end result - this is just a means to an end, remember? and you'll get through it!
4. a lot of other people are in the same boat - not exactly the same one (mine's ducttaped for example... so you wouldn't want to be in my boat, ya know?)
5. ah yes.... i've now lost my train of thought.... oh right: SLEEP (but only to be well rested...)

and with that in mind.... i should head it! it's like 1am. and i got a full day tomorrow... so much for taking my own advice (which i've totally plagiarized off a friend of mine who routinely has to give me stress-defibrillation....)
feel free to vent it all out here guys, just keep the language PG. :P

travel bug

2006-01-22T22:30:00.000-06:00

so i watch way too much tv...
my question for the day is: what makes us want to travel? or not?

you know, it's funny... growing up the way that i have, i've always thought that everyone wants to travel - go places, not knowing what you're doing.... but as i've gotten older, and after having travelled, i've come to realize that this is not how the world works.

i met people in gib who hadn't crossed the border into spain, ever... never even hopped a ferry over to morroco.... (we're talking going from my house to like, warman - a full five minutes)... in SK it's the same deal... some people haven't left the province, or anything.. and i can understand perhaps the cost, or whatever.. but what gets me is the desire to leave... it's just not there!
that's fine, i mean, to each his own.. but i'm just trying to understand this phenomenon. for me, i think that travelling is about wanting to push back barriers... go beyond the status quo, and the thing is that there are many ways of doing that. perhaps that's what it is... for me, the only way i have left to push back at life is, well, this stupid blog, and making myself face things i've never faced before - as painful as that may be... and as horrible the consequences thereof.
i also think that it has to do with how much you want to question the world. (oh, right note: i don't travel for tourism.. i travel to learn the lifestyle... and seeing the odd historical museum or site doesn't hurt! :P )
so, after taking anthropology for example, i really have a different attitude about culture and how it's built and why we do things differently... in short, it's taught me how to question culture. my being a Baha'i has taught me to question everything in life period (the biggest principle in the Baha'i Faith is the independent investigation of truth - so finding things out for yourself - say hello to my reason for always having conversations that make everyone sleepy) and university - it's all about questions. teaches you how to ask them. (any kid who says that uni teaches the answers too is not thinking. you'll get some answers in science.. but they're always basic... my entire information transfer class consists of : it's been suggested that.... consider this... blah blah blah)
so i kinda see the travel bug as wanting to question life intellectually... that and damn, do i miss some of my friends!

hey! i do actually have some friends.. and the fact that they're not imaginary is proven from me having pictures! (NO i do not have an airbrushing program...)

so how do you see it? do you want to travel? and if so, why and when do you plan on going? and where to?
i have a few friends, who express a desire to travel, but are nervous bout going on their own (yes, by a few, i mean more than one)... and let me say, i've offered to take them along... even fly there and back with them so that they can have someone to go through customs with and navigate airports, whatever... and the answer's always: well, we'll see... my parents always said that.. and we'll see always meant: forget it.. but i'll be nice to you and let you dream.
well, to those friends, the offer's always open...
also, i think that some of you might get the impression that haji wants to up and leave SK all together. no, i said : travel.. that means go, and come back. i do love this place. and you know, the more i travel, the more i love it here... i have a lot of family overseas, and a few friends both out of province and overseas.... and they also say : we'll see.. but to coming here... think there's nothing to see in SK or in canada... it's their loss, quite frankly. i've seen sunrises and sunsets off the coasts of seven different countries... (coasts... like, next to a sea or ocean)... and i've seen a great many in lots of other places that are mainland.... nothing.. and let me repeat for clarity: nothing compares to the skies in SK. not all the green and blue of ireland (not even their leprechaun gold), or seeing the sun come up over the Mountain of God (see religious texts for locations... - it was spiritual, yes... magnificent, totally.... but it doesn't compare.. skies there and here are on two different levels).... in barcelona you can't ever see the sky.. and, well, shall i go on? i'd only be redundant if i did.
however, that being said, i still want to travel. it's like this: you know when you love something or someone... and you know it, but it's such a part of you that you'll joke and make fun of it... and you don't realize how much it means to you.... you leave... you'll know how much it meant to you. and you'll see all your faults and imperfections in all their glory.... i've never apologized to my parents so much as when i did when i was away from them (culture shock - if you're with friends, it won't be half so bad, i promise) . but it was necessary.
and you might be getting kinda scared or overwhelmed... reading me saying that travelling is this wonderful and horrible thing... and you might say, i'm not ready, i'm not this, i'm not that... let me ask you: are you ready for anything? really, are you? the exam this friday? the gig you play with mr. x at the fanciest club y in town z? or to put yourself on the line for that friend of yours? nah, forget it- you're not ready. you can't be. but sometimes, you just gotta sit back, and say, to hell with it - and as we used to say when we were kids, and life were simpler... ready or not, here i come!
and go.

writer's block... yet again!

2006-01-22T00:20:00.000-06:00

whoever coined the term "writer's block" probably jinxed all future writers... (possibly with the exception of j.k. rowling.... although, she seems to be using her block as a means to kill off all her characters - don't be surpised if hp7 features harry on his death bed)
oh, right, to those of you who read a couple of posts that came up and disappeared again...
i was being inappropriate and insulting, and i definitely overstepped all the bounds of decency. to those involved (you know who you are), i sincerely apologize. and be assured, i have learnt my lesson....

to use a term coined by the person in question...
moving swiftly onwards....
writer's block.. yes... it's like freezing on air... cept for there's a lot more pressure on air... i should know, my friend sahar sat me down at a mic at the station... and i begged her not to put me on, sure enough, (i thought my ears were fooling me...) she turned on my mic and introduced me to whoever was listening (hopefully on that day, no one....) i literally froze.... funny, i can give talks in front of a couple hundred people, no problem... but this was an entirely different matter...
anyway, here i am... completely at a loss.... today was one of those blah days where you wake up knowing that you're not going to accomplish anything, so why the hell should you bother? yeah....

ah yes, let us discuss board games and how they set people on personal vendettas....
i hadn't see it since high school, but last night i had a very interesting experience. first of all, i nearly won at a board game (this never happens - i blame it on beginner's luck....) secondly, i got to witness people getting riled up over a little game! it was wonderful - let me say, i haven't laughed so much since... well... boy.. i can't even remember that far back!
on thing that struck me though, was this game my friend made up... (or maybe she didn't, but i'm pinning it on her) was "guess the emotion" - it was hilarious, she'd make faces (they were all the same... but don't tell her! she WAS trying to make them all different....)... but it was an interesting thing, because it reminded me of something another friend said to me last week "you can't just turn off your emotions, tahereh" she said... (not about me, if you know me, you'd know that even i realize that my emotions did not come equipped with an on/off button.... God, i blame that one on You!) and so when this other friend of mine was busy trying to switch from emotion to emotion, i was quite amused (also crying from laughing so hard....)
nevertheless, i wonder if it is possible to turn one's emotions on and off... it is possible to lie, even to oneself, about one's feelings... and you can "plan" (according to the self-help section, which is taking over the literature section of all bookstores... disgusting... and the minds of a few of my friends...) you can "plan" how you're going to get through the day.... *although, with that i disagree... but that's for reasons that most of you would curse me if i spoke of... yes, canada's biggest social taboo (other than discussing the fact that racism prevails) - God - no! i even typed it... phew.. don't kill me, guys!
but i do think it possible to turn emotions on and off... to love someone one day, and loathe them the next... we're creatures that are easily influenced by society, the people around us and our physical surroundings - not to mention our state of mind... i think this is how many of us sleep at night...
anyway, that's my little thought for today.. i've tired myself out. so i'm off to bed...

by the way... i realize that this has gotten way to stream of consciousness.... any ideas on how i can get back to structuring this all would be very much appreciated...

photos...

2006-01-17T18:37:00.000-06:00

Me wearing someone's spectacles and in a wig... Also in my room... in case some of you were wondering what the INSIDE looks like... ehehe... actually, my wall looks quite empty.. but really there's a lot of stuff behind my head.. meh... oh, right, in case you were wondering why i'm wearing someone's specs and a wig... i plan on looking smart in uni.. i figure, if i look smart, i might be able to imagine myself into it! (yes, sahar, it IS possible!)

Saskatoon is hoarfrosty... this was taken from our kitchen window which opens onto the balcony.... i have some better photos elsewhere... i should go find them....

are we what we watch?

2006-01-15T21:04:00.000-06:00

alright, so funny thought of the day: if we are what we eat, are we also what we watch?
sam and i were jokingly discussing this today... she was watching desperate housewives - a show that yes, i have tried to watch, but you know, with a title like that, i'm sorry, i really can't! so i said to sam: what you watch is a reflection of you!
we didn't discuss it much, which i attribute to how diverting desperate housewives is... that and, well, i mean, we're talking about sam... she can't really handle two things at once (now, can you sam? :P )
anyway! it's an interesting thought i think.... i mean, we definitely know that what you watch and listen to will affect you - but is it a reflection of yourself?
taking it one step further - could this be a reason why different shows wil appeal to you at different periods in your life?
i look at the different shows and characters that particularly appeal to me - and i do see that, to an extent. especially today. generally, these characters are the sarcastic, stubborn - single! - people in the shows... intelligent... yes, ironically only the first three are directly related to me... the intelligence part is why i talk to people like samira!
music wise - i think it's crucial to have different types of music set out to help you through different times. happy music for those happy days, break up music - to help you move on, content music - for when you're travelling through the roads from galway to the cliffs of moher... angry music - to make sure you don't punch out the wall and just sit and work through it instead...
that's right, music therapy is my true calling.... none of this pediatrician stuff!
in any case... my old high school english teacher maintained that the art that you surround you with is a reflection of yourself. his classroom was cluttered with the largest collection of stuff - for that is all you can really call it! - and it was true.. he was also full of stuff.... mostly very good stuff.. hehe...
think about it.. when you walk into someone's house, or get into their car.... that's the first thing you notice... what's on their walls? paintings? posters? are there books or magazines or journals on their coffee table? what about the bookshelf? poetry, essays, novels, religious works or textbooks? and where is that bookshelf located? what music is playing? do they discuss this all with you?
i did read a particularly good essay about music a while ago; however, in light of recent events, i will not be dissecting it for you. and it seems that i can't recall enough of it to summarize it for you, either... in any case... the author was discussing why certain music appeals to certain people.. and how it's pointless to debate the topic. however, i disagree. it's important to discuss these things because it is critical to who we are as people. the arts have this capacity to manipulate your basest emotions as well as the depths of your soul, and we need to be able to understand this better... then those youths who enjoy rock music will have a way to shut down their parents once and for all... plus, for those of us that don't drink - it's a non-mind altering way of killing the most brain cells!
in all seriousness, though...
art as a reflection of ourselves... true/false... i'd choose true
but then, you gotta ask yourself - should we count TV as an art form?

Poem of the Week

2006-01-14T20:59:00.000-06:00

Pain

By: Rumi

Pain comes from seeing how arrogant you've been, and
pain brings you out of this

conceit. A child cannot be born until the mother has pain.
You are pregnant with real

trust. The words of the prophets and saints are midwives
that help, but first you must feel

pain. To be without pain is to use the first person wrongly.
"I" am this. "I" am that.

"I" am God, like al-Hallaj, who waited till that was true to
say it. "I" at the wrong

time brings a curse. "I" at the right time gives a blessing.
If a rooster crows early,

when it's still dark, he must have his head cut off. What is
this beheading? As one might

extract a scorpion's sting to save it, or a snake's venom to
keep it from being stoned,

headlessness comes from your cleansing connection to
a teacher. Hold to

a true sheikh. Strength will come. Your strength is his
gathering you closer. Soul

of the soul of the soul, moment to moment, hope to draw breath
from that one. No matter

how long you've been apart. That presence has no separation
in it. Do you want to understand

more about this friendship? Read the sura called Daybreak.

thoughts of the day...

2006-01-14T20:32:00.000-06:00

you know, it's interesting - yesterday was friday the 13th... interestingly enough it turned out to be the most eventful friday the 13th of my life. to those who made it so - thanks. i'll definitely be unable to forget you now!

in any case, i've been sitting here reminiscing... cuz, well, that's what i'm best at, i guess, especially when i feel like being useful - but it's ok, don't worry! my mom will get home tonight and bring out the ol' persian mother's whip and i'll get a few red'uns on my back and be on m'way soon enough!
but while i'm reminiscing...
i was thinking about lauguage. i've been reading this book called Epistle to the Son of the Wolf - really good read, i recommend picking up a copy if you're interested in wolves at all.. and their children...
in any case, the author discusses how words are more powerful than weapons these days. it's quite an interesting concept... there is truth to it as well. we can think about it on the international scale - look at the revolutions of the past 100 years they all began and ended with words. (you can argue otherwise, i know, but consider politics - revolutions in most countries begin with certain charismatic individuals saying that they can do better than the current leader - when the revolution is over, that new leader will make promise after promise.... all words to subdue a people). think about our current elections here in canada. no longer do our leaders duel each other - but they debate and accuse and dance around truth... you'd think that if we really wanted our leaders to have to "keep their promises" we'd have created some kind of contract system.... but we hold them to their "word".
business these days is the same. when a consultant is hired, it's usually over a game of golf or a dinner meeting, and the two companies will "agree" without signing anything. and they're held accountable based on that verbal agreement.
the same when it comes down to individuals around us. why is it that when mr. x says something to mr. y about his mama, mr. y has to respond - fights might even break out! are you kidding?! that sounds kinda ridiculous, no? but it's the truth, and we all know that it's (well, a common joke) a matter of dignity.
and so i was thinking today, do we actually think about what we say to each other.. do we think about what that means and are we ready to be held accountable?
when i was in in gibraltar, one of my biggest problems was that my cousins and i had trouble understanding each other's language - we all speak english, but it was still difficult. and the reason is that words have different meanings, and a different level of importance based on where you come from. this makes sense; language and culture are inextricably intertwined. so when my friend sahar says : my, was the little guy chuffed - i had no clue what she was talking about.... chuffed? what, did he gain weight? no, he was pleased with himself.
now, let's think about this a little. if words are so important, then it must be equally important to choose them with care. now, sometimes, one might say something out of haste - i might yell at my father and tell him: who the heck do you think you are - as opposed to, dearest sir, please kindly inform me regarding your reasons for your statement... etc.
but then you have to wonder - if you make a mistake... be it a little one: get lost, as opposed to please excuse me, or a big one: you are a(n) [insert curse word here]... and you say the wrong thing.. or you say something without thinking... does that make it a lie?
or did you just make a blunder... and like most capitalists, believe that it will all right itself?
i'd take the blunder side, personally... but then... let's tweak this scenario a little.... what if it's something really stupid.. like telling a student that you'll help them.. always saying it. how long should you go on? knowing that you're never going to really do it... a month? two perhaps? three??
no sir... the second it goes from a blunder to a continued charade.. then it's a lie.

don't ya think?

THE POINT OF NO RETURN

2006-01-07T17:37:00.000-06:00

Alrighty.. so I've decided that I should not say I'm going to write something... but rather write it right then...
So, here's to not bashing organized religion today... We'll do it some other time, don't worry.
But today, I've been thinking a lot about career choices. For us youth, this decision is often one that is quite stressful - and one that society stresses upon. (As opposed to, say, choosing a life partner.. which to me, is a far more important decision - but is portrayed as much easier to decide and accomplish, in general!). I daresay that this year is one of transition for many people that I know.
I think that with choosing a career, which often means going to university or some other source of post secondary education, we see it as "the long haul", a final decision... or "a point of no return". Yet, I can assure you that upper year students, and the staff (not faculty, there's a difference in attitude, trust me) at any such post secondary institution will treat it as trivial. Your teachers and profs will put pressure on you; however, when you go to see an academic advisor, not only do they not know (in general) what is going on, they also really couldn't care less.
Interestingly enough, most people will change careers repeatedly in their lives. As I was telling one friend today, you could get an undergrad in biology, and do your master's and up in something like human geography (true story). In our own Saskatoon Symphony, there are doctors that play in it! So really, life is not as hard set as we'd like to think it is.
Actually, one friend of mine is a real free spirit compared to me in this regard.... I asked him the other day why he's chosen that uni's not for him, and he says to me "maybe it is? who knows, for now I'm doing [insert something here]"... and he's happy doing it and doing quite well, far's I can tell. He's right, in many ways, because, being young, smart and quick on your feet means that yeah, if you decide next term to go become a rocket scientist you could probably do it if you wanted it enough!
Also, I've noticed that uni students, especially first years (of whom I was one, and perhaps with my level of naivete, I should still be counted as one), really have this arrogance about them. So when a person decides to take some time off school (which is quite common - we all need breaks from the Hell they call university), a first year's first thought is ha! You obviously can't handle it! Whereas a more thoughtful and wise thought would be hmm... That's a very wise decision, if that's what you need to do. For those of you who are not in university, perhaps I should explain. The academic world is somewhat like the wizarding world in Harry Potter - muggles really don't know what's going on in there... however, by the same token, wizards are usually idiots when it comes to normal stuff. Academia is very exclusive, quite arrogant (I can even SEE some of you sniggering at this, but don't lie to yourself: knowledge leads to arrogance; it must be tempered with humility, and humility is not something our society values let alone promote!), and extremely condescending. Granted, no matter what you do in life, because we're all so specialized, we like to use language that is inaccessible to others... But it's not right.
But I digress! First years.. yes, like I was saying: to you who still have your noses in the air about people who are not in university or uni students who take or have taken or will take time off - what goes around comes around, and you know what? I hope that you learn not to judge others one day.
And yes, that was me judging you. I haven't learnt THAT much in my short life. But I do try to exercise at least minimal amounts of tact.
In any case, the next time you find yourself or a friend making a decision, especially one that involves careers and/or finances, remember this: nothing is ever fixed in stone, (actually, even it if were, you could chisel or grind or sand it away!) and the only point of no return is when you die - and even then, it's all about progress!
So think happy thoughts!

Comic Relief

2005-12-27T02:53:00.000-06:00

Saskatoon, SK
2:53AM
27 December 2005

OFFICE OF TAHEREH HAJI

received word STOP attack verbeke STOP paint green van kitchen white STOP perps hindered by one P.S. STOP may attack tomorrow STOP owner be warned perps brown and perceived dangerous STOP advise appointment with auto paint shop STOP

the above is a telegram that i have just received. i do not know who owns this "green van", but i assume that "verbeke" should be quite worried at this point. i hear that the color "kitchen white" is very tacky and out dated. (if it ever was in at all... *shudders*). i suggest that the owner come forward - i may be able to assist in the efforts to pursue this conniving fiends! ~T.H.

Organized Religion - Tell us why you hate it!

2005-12-27T02:49:00.000-06:00

Alright, guys, so this evening i was speaking to a friend of mine (hehe, yes, some real human interaction, get that!), and we were discussing organized religion and its various faults. So now i ask you the question, what's wrong with organized religion? (forget any possible good stuff.. that's for later). leave your comments.... tomorrow, i'm making a top ten reasons why OR's are a load of BS.
anyway, i'd love to hear from you!
t.h.

A word about Rumi...

2005-12-26T11:22:00.000-06:00

well, below i've posted a favorite poem of mine by Rumi. granted, some things must have been lost in the translation, but i expect that his work is just as elusive in Arabic.
I suggest that you read it several times (if you feel like reading it at all) and think about it for a bit... then, if you wouldn't mind, i'd like to know what you think of it.
ah, yes, and for those of you who don't know, Inshallah translates into "God willing". it's Arabic, yes, but you will hear many people in the Middle East say it (persians, for example) - islam is all about submission you see.
anyway, so yeah, i certainly don't know what it means, and am quite confused as to why i like it at all... but here it is.
enjoy.
~ t.h.

INSHALLAH

2005-12-26T11:17:00.000-06:00

By: Rumi (as translated by Coleman Barks)

Some people work and become wealthy. Others do the same and
remain poor. Marriage

fills one with energy. Another it drains. Don't trust ways.
They change. A means

flails about like a donkey's tail. Always add the gratitude
clause, if God wills. Then

proceed. You may be leading a donkey, no, a goat, no, who can
tell? We sit in a dark pit

and think we're home. We pass around delicacies. Poisoned
bait. You think this

is preachy double-talk? Those who do not breath the God
willing phrase live in a

collective blindness. Rubbing their eyes in the dark,
the ask, "Who's there?"

more thoughts on bravery and fraud...

2005-12-26T02:46:00.000-06:00

alright, so i apologize to the poor bloke who's conversations i'm raggin on tonight... i'm sure we can discuss my actions after you've read this and decided to tell me to go to hell..

i've had several people say to me that it takes a lot of courage/bravery/whatever to post thoughts like this on the net. my thoughts in this blog are the following: what in God's Names (it strikes me that we often say Name, singular, but really, the plural form is more true) ever gave you that idea?
i had this english teacher back in high school... a lot of the students hated him, but a few of us geeks... we loved him. and the reason was simple: he made us think. we'd read something and he'd really take us into it.. almost too far, i think sometimes; however, he'd do it. and he'd say things to us, and ask us questions, and make us argue back and forth... and he'd often get this grin on his face... in retrospect, i think those were probably at the points in our discussions when one of us would make an argument that he agrees with, but would never tell us so...
over the years, i've learnt to emulate him in many ways... present ideas and concepts and arguments that disgust me, but i'm going to show anyway...
for example, i might argue here, in favor of euthansia, or whatever... and i might even use anecdotes and little conversations to back up or explain my argument or my question or whatever.. but what makes you think it's my actual opinion?
one person i said this to, replied, quite correctly, that those who don't know me well will take me for what they see. she's right, to an extent. the thing is, however, that you can't, to use a cliche, judge a book by its cover. take me for what you see: a messed up kid, questioning society and its BS and happening to write about it while she's at it. oh, and add this to the melange, and it'll really screw you over... do you really think that this little investigation of mine ends with this blog?
now, i submit to you the following: we all have a responsibility in this world to investigate truth for ourselves (whether or not you agree this statement is not for you to question - it's a fact, get over it). so investigate it. the next time you think, oh, tahereh's doing great and putting her emotions on the line, look deeper, and see me for what i really am: a damned good fake.
a friend once described himself as an impenetrable tower. while i hate phallic symbolism, this one is too good to pass up! he may be impenetrable, but mine... it's so well guarded and fortified... i have to tell you about it before you notice it.
hehehehe, and that's my fun thought of the day!

tomorrow: new poem.. this time by none other than Rumi himself!

Bravery or Fraud?

2005-12-26T01:42:00.000-06:00

That title's not supposed to mean anything to most of you by the way.. so don't worry if it's more of a question mark for you than a laugh, thinking: i'll get her for this.... (and if you are thinking that you'll get me.. well, read on, and here's my thought for you: good luck!!! ;) )

ANYWAY!

my question today has to do with music. i've been thinking bout this matter for a while. i mean, for a while, i really wanted to pursue music as a career... hehe, unfortunately for that plan, God wills other things for me. however, some around me have pursued this, and well, my own mother is an artist (a brilliant one at that, want to see her work? email me). but i've always wondered at what gives power to music and to art.
there's this one piece (well, it's more along the pop genre so i hate to call it "piece" or "work" hehe, but i have nothing else.. it's like 2AM, sorry, folks!) that i got introduced to this past summer. we won't mention its name, but those involved in this story will know who they are... the friend that gave me a copy of it, well, i mean, the song really hit home for both of us... what's funny is this: i got another friend to listen to it yesterday, and this friend was like: it's total crap. well, i consider him sorta an expert in music, so i'm thinking, that's interesting, crap. so it got me to thinking: what makes it different for me? why does this song strike me.. and let me say, it's pretty bad, the song starts playing and you might as well just find a little corner for me and say: see ya in an hour...
so it got me to thinking...
(if my old English teachers could see how often i use the elipsis i think they'd have a crise cardiac! and yes, they'd all have the same heart attack. hehe)
i don't know if i'm explaining this well. perhaps it's like this: take the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (great book, by the way, i recommend it to you all!) or the Harry Potter series... many of us will love those books, but others won't and for different reasons. i personally find HHGG to be hilarious, and a true work of art, but then, others will not.
that brings me to my next thought... why can a book make someone laugh? it's merely an inanimate object with ink all over it... possibly some color... and it may form images... i mean, c'mon.. there's no real reason why it should cause someone to laugh, right?
anyway, so i was talking to sam about this.. whom i take all the heavy, deep questions of life to (mostly cuz she'll put up with my stupid questions and cuz we think alike - speedy gonzalez is MY line, ST!) and we came to the conclusion (or rather, she told me it, and i was like: is this a good example, and she agreed so therefore...) that music triggers memories and/or emotions (i still want to know what emotions are, really.. cuz our more primitive emotions, such as "rage" are actually controled by the hypothalamus - if i remember my physiology correctly...)
actually, if i may.. this has been all over the map.. and it's also like 3AM now (no, i haven't been writing the entire time... msn's been distracting me....) so, well, basically: why does music affect us? and, here's a thought: how and why do we classify music as great or crap? (what makes mozart so great and spice girls crap? - i'm not saying that mozart's NOT great.... but why do we classify him so? and, if any of you were considering spice girls as actual music: quit reading this blog. it isn't your type.)

Just for Sahar - My thoughts on the Irish

2005-12-21T19:58:00.000-06:00

I have been informed that my last post was rather "heavy" and in an effort to lighten the mood, and make my overseas friend, Sahar, comment, the following has come to my mind....

See, the fact of the matter is that I, in a feeble attempt to act all tough, told Sahar that I'd say a bunch of mean things about Irish lack of spine. However, I have found that I am quite incapable of saying anything remotely harsh, as I am, in fact, in the phase of my relationship with my old friend, that after almost 5 and a half years, I now need to impress her. (insert comment of choice here - and hear me roaring in laughter. That's right ROARING!)
Anyway, let me see... Ireland. How can I describe this fair country in Middle Earth itself?
Well, if I were a typical writer of English prose, I might as well compare "her" to a summer's day... but then, well, I'm neither Shakespeare, nor a man, let alone English...
So...

Well, I tried... and I've got nothing. What I do know is a series of unrelated cool things about Ireland, and the Irish themselves, which might be quite interesting and useful tidbits of information...

1. drunk driving commercial
In Saskatchewan: show a car accident. perhaps if it's really goary, an ambulance
In Ireland: show an kid getting slaughtered by a drunk.
Do either situations work? obviously not.

2. Landscape
In Ireland: rolling green hills. the white stuff? sheep.
In SK: (In the central areas!) flat. choose between colors of either yellow or white. the white stuff? ACTUAL snow! (we don't need sheep to fake it for the tourists)

3. Religion
In Ireland: comedy's easiest scapegoat, and the country's joke.
In Canada: what we'd rather not discuss. So how bout hockey?

4. Sport
Ireland: well, it strikes me that you're quite British... so... cricketS anyone?
Canada: hell, we're so diverse everyone has their own sport and it's OK to do that! (actuall though, tis Lacrosse - we don't like eating what we play with, hehe)

and of course, last but not least:

5. Natural Resource
In Ireland: leprechaun (read: celtic) gold
In SK: actual mining and forestry resources.

So, please, take this with a grain of salt. This list is, in fact, a series of blatant exaggerations aimed at one thing only: getting Sahar to actually comment on a blog where SHE KNOWS the writer. Actually, while I was staying at her place, I started a bit of a cookbook/handbook... it's currently still in the works.

I also hope that that lightened the mood somewhat.

Baking Cookies...

2005-12-20T21:31:00.000-06:00

Alright, well, I've been told that I don't have enough photos up... I've also been told that this is a particularly good photo of me. Well, this is what you get for now. I also plan on putting up a photo of my bedroom when I've finished spring cleaning. Tomorrow.

Anyway, so Samira says that our society is about change, and yet when someone does change, everyone goes berserk. I've found this to be true. (By the way, Sam, where can I find this wise friend of yours? I'd like to meet him/her). I've had some interesting conversations this past weekend about societal change. Some of my friends are hopefuls, while I remain ever the cynic.
I do sincerely believe that the world will have to change someday, because it needs to. However, I need proof. As usual.
Our world is extremely two faced. We have expectations of others yet we, ourselves, are not willing to fulfill that same expectation. Take as an example my post about my travels. A close friend of mine said that she liked it because it was "honest". That comment struck me as interesting, because we like others to be sincere, honest - truthful, even! Yet when was the last time that you felt comfortable being "honest" with someone? Perhaps it was with a good friend (I'm not trying to say that I'm better because my post was supposedly honest. In fact, I remind you that whether or not it's truly honest is for me to judge and you to perceive), but chances are that it was not with, perhaps, a prof at university. Our society is not built to reward honesty with its desert.
A line from Hamlet has always stuck with me. He says to Polonius, who has just stated that he'll treat the players as they deserve: "God's bodykins, man, much better! Use every man after his desert, and who should scape whipping? Use them after your own honor and dignity. The less they deserve, the more merit in your bounty. Take them in." (II, ii)
Anyway, I digress with one of my favorite lines... Oh, yes, a formal apology to Sahar: I'd use a Macbeth quotation, except for I do know in whose presence I write, and my blood freezes at the very thought!
I had was talking to another friend, just this past weekend. She's studying nursing, and she says to me that nursing students are learning to speak their mind in the workplace. So, when they see a nurse who's been on the job for 20 years and continues to use an outdated method, they should suggest the new method. I looked at her and smiled. Don't get me wrong, I hold her in the highest regard, yet I wonder at this system. Outwardly it may seem openminded and encouraging new ideas, but what do we see with every young up and comer who goes to his/her boss and says "Sir/Madam, this method is outdated" - listen, when you tell someone that you don't like their method, you're telling them off. No matter how you put it, chances are that they will take it personally. The first few times they'll let you have your fun, but after that... good luck!
No, I've had personal experience with this... Even provided my supervisor with solid proof, and while he accepted that there was an issue, he laughed off my suggestion. We're all proud of what we've accomplished, and no wet-behind-the-ears kid is going to make us look bad, right?
We're looking at a society that does not have for its primary vision the advancement of human civilization. It's merely attempting to survive. And if you're on your death bed, survival means saving as much energy as you can so that you can keep your cellular processes running. It takes a lot more energy than you think to keep your eyes blinking, your heart pumping (especially when you're sessile), and your nerves feeling.
Shoghi Effendi, who was a man of many professions, but whom I see somewhat as a visionary stated that:
"Never indeed have there been such widespread and basic upheavals, whether in the social, economic or political spheres of human activity as those now going on in different parts of the world. Never have there been so many and varied sources of danger as those that now threaten the structure of society. The following words... are indeed significant as we pause to reflect upon the present state of a strangely disordered world: "How long will humanity persist in its waywardness? How long will injustice continue? How long is chaos and confusion to reign amongst men? How long will discord agitate the face of society? The winds of despair are, alas, blowing from every direction, and the strife that divides and afflicts the human race is daily increasing. The signs of impending convulsions and chaos can now be discerned, inasmuch as the prevailing order appears to be lamentably defective." (italics added by author - T.H.)

Another thought: I've been asked several times lately who I plan on voting for. Firstly, as a Baha'i, I believe that a secret ballot is just that, secret. So, I'll treat the question lightly when I'm asked, but you'll never truly know who I support. But this I will tell you now: I haven't a clue who to vote for.
This happens to me each time an election of some sort comes about. Canditates, analysts, and the news will discuss "the issues" that whatever group they seek control of face.... But it strikes me that "the issues" don't really ever get mentioned. We discuss what each candidate will do about them, but never literally list them! Sp tell me, is abortion an issue? Taxes? Foreign policy? Or University tuition? It's like the issues have been divied up between the candidates each time. They have a dinner party where they discuss the benefits of confusing the populace by calling an election at the busiest time of the year (did it ever occur to you that if they're really all about the money, then technically, it'd be in their best interests to work together... funny thought, eh?), and they decide who will have to use which "issue" (who chooses these things? I personally don't think that abortion is a matter that I should choose a prime minister over... maybe his sex life should worry me more... and now THAT was low!) as their platform. When a platform is selected, the idea is that they don't discuss anything else. So I notice that a lot of our prospectives, when a question is asked that they can't answer (because they agreed with the others not to deal with it - that or their speechwriters didn't forsee that exact question...), they say "well, that's not a real issue that Canadians care about". Again, did anyone ask the normal, everyday Canadian? (Polls are PROVEN to be inefficient and inaccurate tools of census - take Anthropology 111).
Anyway, that's it for me today. Take care!

Poem of the Week

2005-12-20T17:43:00.000-06:00

Deeds Not Words
by: Anonymous

A man of words and not of deeds
Is like a garden full of weeds;

And when the weeds begin to grow
It's like a garden full of snow;

And when the snow begins to fall,
It is like birds upon a wall;

And when the birds begin to fly,
It's like a shipwreck in the sky;

And when the sky begins to roar,
It's like a lion at the door;

And when the door begins to crack,
It's like a stick across your back;

And when your back begins to smart,
It's like a penknife in your heart;

And when your heart begins to bleed,
Oh then you're dead and dead indeed!

Comment Deletion

2005-12-19T01:11:00.000-06:00

Just a quick note:
I just realized that somehow a comment was deleted. I swear that I do not know how this happened, but I'm working on retreiving it and reposting it myself - to maintain a spirit of openness.. if there's one thing I dislike, it's censorship!
To this person: I am extremely sorry. There's not much more I can really say.

My Summer Travels

2005-12-18T23:17:00.000-06:00

So, I do believe that what I haven't done to date is give everyone a full explanation of my travels, or told the story. Perhaps I'm just nostalgic at this point in my sad excuse for a life. But then, perhaps this is my way of getting some closure. I tell this story without expectation of anything in return; I just want you to know what happened, and maybe, just maybe this might explain a bit of who I've become.
Here goes nothing.

I left for the wrong reason. Have you ever looked back on your life and said: damn, I shouldn't have done that? I say that to myself nearly every second. I make a hell of a lot of mistakes, and this, this was one of those big ones. My reason for leaving: I was one unhappy little first year. I also was clueless as to what I was doing with my life, and my marks were taking nosedives. My school friends will sigh here and say, "ugh, Haji, your marks?! you probably just did not think them good enough." Actually, no, that is not the case. Honors degrees require 70% and up. And if my marks continued to drop as they were doing, I wouldn't even be able to get that much.
So I managed to convince my parents that instead of having me mope around the house for a month (pilgrimage has set dates - no one was going to hire me for the summer knowing that I'd be gone right away - How do I know this? I checked!) I should go and live with my aunt and her family in Gibraltar, and do a Period of Service for the Baha'i Community there.
Come April 29th, I was gone.

Gibraltar

I was in Gibraltar from May 4 - June 3. Thirty days. Most of them: from Hell. Gibraltar, if you don't already know, is the southernmost geographic point of mainland Spain. It's the point on a map that nearly touches Morocco. Most of you will know about it because of the strategic importance of the Strait of Gibraltar. Well, that's where I was.
Now, I do not wish to hurt my aunt and her family by writing this. Let me explain here that the primary reason for my unhappiness in this place was because of culture shock. The secondary reason: homesickness.
Now, let me explain the situation there. My aunt and uncle really should have said no to my coming. I guess, like all family, they're excited initially, but don't realize what they're really doing. Also, a series of unfortunate coincidences all climaxed during that month. More pressure for all of us.
Their apartment is perhaps the size of my upstairs... So the living room, dining room, kitchen and area, perhaps plus my parent's room. Family of five.
I arrived, and now we're six, and they put me up in my cousins room. My cousin, Carmel, of course, knowing me probably better than I know myself, was disgusted at this fact. I, too, have also learnt to become disgusted with myself.
So it's all a learning experience, right?
Anyway, I did do many Baha'i activities, but you know, when you don't have much else to do, it seems like you're doing nothing. I spent a lot of time walking to town and around town... I could go a whole day and not say a word to anyone other than my family. And I spent a hell of a lot of time on the phone with my parents and brother.
I think the biggest difference between here and Gibraltar, like Carmel told me when I arrived and would remind me incessantly, is that Gibraltarians (yes, they're not British... calling them that is like calling Canadians, Americans) are a very laid back people. Their motto is "por la manana" (pronounced maniana, almost... I need some Spanish letters here! eheh) "for the morning". Me, crazy university student that I am, am the exact opposite.
Fine, but relaxing, that's easy enough right?
Sure, but how's this? I'm in a small place, and the kids have been taught, rightly so, that this family is not about secrets. So, when I logged on to PAWS to find if my marks had been posted (unfortunately they had), they were announced throughout the house without hesitation. Net result: privacy to a Canadian and privacy to a Gibraltarian mean two really, really different things.
The above are merely a few reasons, other things were going on...
Now, my homesickness.
I have never felt more alone in my life. In a way, it was good; I was able to deal with the rest of my travels better, but at the same time, I look back... I cringe. I tried to be happy, I really did, after all, this is what I had wanted for so long... I'd even written in grade 10 in Wilderman's class about this... But this was not what I had expected. I remember, I had photos of my siblings in my prayer book, photos which I'd whip out to show any poor fool that happened to ask me about my family. My journal, which I was not able to write in due to privacy problems, contained three photos: one, of Teegan and I at grad, the second of a certain December formal photo, and the third, which unfortunately turned out quite horribly due to poor film, of the discussion group - most of my Saskatoon friends were in it. I also had with me three airplane letters from three very different friends of mine. I'd reread them a million times by the time I'd arrived in Gib. These little pieces of home...
I also had a friend from home tirelessly emailing me to keep me going. She'd send me these massive long emails... Detailing every last thing that was going on back home, and then, when she'd run out of things to tell me or ask me, she'd make a list of questions, most of them random... Just to get me to write back and have something to look forward to. To this friend, I am eternally grateful.
My grampa had, in his worry for me, given me his mobile phone. I think I blew most of my money on text messages... hehe, yes, and to those two girls I was messaging: I am proud to have inserted EVERY LAST WORD! (what can I say, I really don't know how to use the little buggers...)
There was something else, too, which perhaps hit home even more than the photos or the letters... A friend of mine had prepared a few CD's for me... Unfortunately, this person knows me better than they could have ever imagined. My cousins hated the music... So the odd time when I had the house to myself, I'd play the CDs quietly... There was one song in particular, that actually caused me to be unable to listen to them again until I'd left. Trad music from a country I absolutely adore: Ireland. This woman was singing about how she'd left Dublin (oh, lovely Dublin...) to come to America and escape the war, only to find that America was also in war, and that she shouldn't have left in the first place. I laughed, and turned off the CD player. A litte too true to my situation...
However, this all being said, I did fall in love with Gibraltar. And then I was promptly yanked back to reality by events that were, as usual, my fault. Such is my life. I do things with the best of intentions, and they always, always backfire.

Israel

My family and I met up in Barcelona, and went to Israel for pigrimage: 6 - 15 June, I believe. Pilgrimage was amazing. My brother and I met a lot of new people, and got to hang out with some old Saskatoon friends on their turf. I cannot say much else. We were staying in Haifa, and we would travel out to Akka. There are Baha'i Holy Places as well as two Shrines in these twin cities. A lot of prophecies have been and are being fulfilled in Israel...
Again, however, and now with Anis, all we both could think about was how much so and so would like it if they were here. We called some friends from there as well. Anis had kids taken out of class... I had parents wake people up... It was a good time. Hehe, even on our pilgrimage we were planning our days, adding time zone differences again and again, just to make one or two phone calls...
The culture, obviously, was quite different. But I don't think that it was the culture that surprised me the most. I think it was the fact that for once, I was the normal person in the crowd. The only thing that would give me away was the fact that the citizens of Haifa and Akka know a pilgrim from a mile away... I'd tell you why, but you'd call me an arrogant [insert curse word here]. Anyway, it was great. Anis and I lived on hummus and pita bread (by choice!)... We'd eat arab food... have pastries... fresh fruit..stuff that my parents would talk about, and could maybe get once a year or two if one of us went to Toronto or Montreal... But nothing really like this... Shawarma galore! Oh God, the Shawarma!
I have a TON of photos and stories about Israel... Just ask.

Spain

We returned, with great difficulty (ask for the story in person), to Spain. It's funny, we'd use Barcelona as a travel stop... I think I spent a total of 7 or 8 days there... But I never really got to sight see or anything... I'd be too busy repacking bags (funny story that one...). Anyway, my maternal side of the family all lives in Spain, and we managed to all find two weeks (17 - 30 June) that we could escape to Southern Spain, to this province called Andalucia, which surrounds Gibraltar, if I'm not mistaken.
Anis, by this time, was dying of homesickness and asking for a ticket home (hehe, what I'd done, no, begged for, a month earlier). It was lovely. We rented this place in a paradise town that I'm sure I'll never go back to.
God, the stories...
The highlight of the trip for me was really a visit from an old, old friend of mine. June 22-26 were four heavenly days there... I spent most of the rest cooped up in my room busy... with what? Well, that's another story... In any case, it's no longer important. Anyway, well, so my friend came to visit. She's kinda one of those amazing people I hope I can aspire to, and I'm sure you guys would all rather I be if you could but meet her. She knew, somehow, how to handle me, which is saying something, as well as how to speak and act around every last person in my family. By the end of the four days, she'd convinced my parents to allow me to come stay with her.
I still don't know how she did it.
The rest of my trip there was really a blur... I locked myself upstairs... And we did go here or there, or to the beach... I spent a day in Granada my first weekend there with my other aunt.. babysitting my little cousin... Oh, what a cutie! The little guy is just two months younger than Farah. I have never been met with such kindness and hospitality while with a child as I was there. And I would know.
My cousins all liked Anis. Which was good, because I needed time to deal with myself. The little guy, Olinga, and my sister were really good friends. Farah still recognizes him. They'd play in this little pool my aunt had purchased in Israel for my sister. And they'd share what little toys they had... And hug each other... Oh they were so cute!

Ireland: My unexpected trip

So, now, this is the part of my story that gets even more creepy. In grade 10 English class with Mr. Wilderman, there was an assignment which I remember as the postcard project. Choose a place or places to travel to, "go there" for x amount of time and write a friend back - but make the postcards to. Parts of this postcard project have become a reality. And Ireland was the clincher.
I was there 4 - 20 July. Spent 10 days of it as housemates with Sahar, whom most of you know as "Tahereh's friend from Ireland". (She's the one that visited earlier... yes, I realize I'm not using names enough - I don't want to bore you...). Her family was away, and they had actually wanted, yes wanted, me to come and keep her company. That, I'm sure I did; how good my company was, I do not know. However, I can easily say that this was the best part of my trip. I'd gotten over the culture shock; Sahar is a person who does understand me, probably more than she knows; and Irish culture is a lot more similar to ours, probably because, well, a lot of Canadians are of Irish decent.
I spent most of my time either at home or at NUIG (university, where Sahar studies and works). Again, I was busy with my mystery project. It was good. Relaxing... The weather was more what I was used to. The air is also a lot cleaner than Spain and most certainly Israel. And let me say, to those of you who are wondering: Ireland is everything they tell us it is!
I think one of the biggest learning experiences for me was that I was finally able to initiate conversation with total strangers. (I had done this on some airplane rides, but minimally and with a lot of caution). But the Irish seem to be quite sociable and, let me add, extremely amiable! Ah, yes, I should add, Sahar lives in Galway, so I was there. We were in Dublin for a night - two of Sahar's Baha'i friends took their Saturday and gave us a lovely walking tour of the country's capital. I've never walked so much in my life! (well, maybe on pilgrimage...)
Anyway, it was great. And Sahar's family is simply brilliant, as well. Her dad scares me in an amusing sort of way... Him and my dad are exact replicas, and unfortunately for Sahar and I, he knows it. The funniest thing ever was when he caught me one morning coming upstairs, and I, of course, say "hey, Mr. Rahmani," etc... He looks at me, smiling and says "tell me, Tahereh, do you get along with your father?" - let me say, for the record, that I have never walked a tightrope, but I think talking about family stuff, knowing full well the implications, with Sahar's dad, no less... well, I think I have a pretty good idea of what it's like! Her mom, well, a woman that selfless I've never met before.
Sahar's siblings are also brilliant. I must say that I do miss them...
The last weekend that I was there, they took me to the Cliffs of Moher and the Burren. It was absolutely terrific! The car ride (God... the scenery is stunning!), and everything. I think the Cliffs were the most amusing... I couldn't help but remember the postcard project and a certain young friend of mine dreaming of hangliding into the sunset...
Unfortunately, Sahar kept me from jumping.
Ah, yes, and for the record: I did go to more than one pub.... heheh..

And that was that. I came home to Saskatoon on 21 July... Depressed, alone and still as unhappy as when I'd left. I think I spent a Hell of a lot of money on phone calls on the 20th when I arrieved back in Barcelona. hehe, my poor parents... When I got back, I went through a lot of reverse culture shock. To my friends here, for that, I do sincerely apologize. Much was going on in my life... much is still happening, and God knows where I'll be in a year's time. Anyway, perhaps this little story will help you to understand me a bit better, perhaps it won't, and perhaps, it's too late and redemption is impossible.
In any case, one of the biggest challenges for me this past summer and term has been that people seem unable to get along with me. That much became quite clear to me when I was with family while travelling. So, to those of you who are angry at me, who will be or have been, don't worry, you're not alone, (I'm one of them, too). You should start a club, crisis line and everything...
Anyway, with that, I shall leave you for the time being. There's a fight in my head right now that I should probably go resolve.
Good night, and take care.

Writer's Note

2005-12-17T13:07:00.000-06:00

I feel it necessary at periodic intervals in my writing endeavors to explain the purpose animating my work. It may seem difficult for you to understand this, but I really simply enjoy hearing your thoughts and opinions – however challenging they may be to my own! The fact of the matter is that I like to put my thoughts down on paper – or into digital code as it were…

When I first began writing it was for myself; I would dream up some messed up story, and would develop it for weeks, maybe months… and my interest would slowly die, or I would run out of ideas – sometimes actually my characters would get the better of me and become somewhat real, or rather, that character would take on the personality of someone I knew, and I’d know to stop there. I left writing for a few years after that. I pursued other endeavors that interested me, and then suddenly, I was put into a more public spotlight. I was quite young at the time, yet perhaps less naïve… But I learnt there to love the challenge of writing for someone else. You’ve all probably heard the clichéd statement, “what is art without an audience”… It’s sort of like that.

Not to digress! Yeats once said “it’s not a writer’s business to hold opinions”. He’s right. It’s our job to present them. And that is what I feel I can do here. Perhaps I am wrong, but then, Frank Wright said “I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.” So, maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. I might be out of my mind. I might present an idea that you feel you don’t care much for, or you may find that my thoughts have the amazing capacity of putting medical patients to sleep in under 10 seconds – whatever you may feel toward my work, the irony is that it’s your choice whether you want to read it or not.

Now, I have also noted some complaints that have been queried on another blog against my own (Note: the entry in question no longer exists). Perhaps the plaintiffs have different opinions of what I should and should not be publishing. Freedom of choice is a critical matter, and lack of censorship an immediate second. Several of the issues noted I will address here.

The stated reason for the grievances was that I have censored my comments. Let it be noted here that I do nothing of the sort. I suggest that you use the refresh button on your Internet browser to locate the missing comment(s). I will be happy to personally assist you in that matter if you so please.

It has also been noted that two of my blog entries are perhaps not written according to the taste and fancy of a few of my readers. I will not apologize for that. If the problem is about the topic(s) that I have chosen, I can only say that I write about what attracts my attention the most. In any writer’s, or artist’s life, it is quite often found that a single thing might draw them in for a period of time. I do realize that my blog has to date been quite themed. This is not a planned phenomenon. Nevertheless, I am not writing to please you, but rather merely to write.

The way that I present my ideas may be somewhat unorthodox and, at times, raw to the extreme. Again, I do not apologize. I am fully capable of adjusting my work to whatever level I please, and for the time being, I choose to set my standard at the point which you currently see in this blog. However, it has not escaped my attention that this style is vulnerable to attack. That, too, is fine. You will note that, if my work here is read carefully, the words of Michael MacManus will ring true: “But my work is undistinguished and my royalties are lean because I never am obscure and not at all obscene.”

Dear friends, I leave you to ponder (or not) on the above points.

Warm regards,

Yours, etc.

New Blog Tabloid

2005-12-09T23:06:00.000-06:00

Yes, folks, it's finally here! The moment that you've all been waiting for....
Never spend money on a tabloid again! And get the scoop on your friends... by reading Henry and Shawn's Tabloid Extraodinaire!

The best story there yet is about Godzilla.... Tokyo in Ruins (you might have to scroll down... a lot...)

as always....

2005-12-09T22:46:00.000-06:00

well, sam, thanks again! (how many of these blogs have i started like this?)
you give brilliant advice, and you're one of those people that reminds me that i might actually be right about people sometimes! so thanks
as for not taking the easy road in life.. yeah, i know. if i wanted the easy road.. well, i wouldn't be sitting here right now.. i'd be off. well, someplace.... we'll NOT continue this line of thought...
anyway, so yeah, actually, i had a dream last night that really made me think about easy way vs. right way... comes back to robert frost and grade 10 english... "two roads diverged in a wood, and i - / i took the road less travelled by / and that has made all the difference"
anyway, but the thing is i'm right before that fork in the road... so i know it's coming, but i don't know what it'll be, or what will come of it... i guess the best thing to do is just sit back and relax; however, for those of you who know me, you'd know that i'm not the type.
anyway, let's move on to a different topic. (yes, sam, i know, for clarity, i should publish this post first, and then make a new one. watch me not take your logical thought - go feminist writers!!)

so i've been raised in an environment where consultation and conflict resolution and mediation were not ideas that were discussed, but actual facts. perhaps you think i live in a utopic mindset... it's possible.... after all, i have been known to live in the past (although not THAT far back...), but hear me out. so i've always kinda thought consultation : state your thoughts and move on with life. but lately, i've been involved in different organizations and i'm finding that it's more like : foreplay, state thoughts, story, example, state more thoughts that are different than before, a bad example, very awkward pun... try to end, then come back with another thought that is supposed to make it all good again, but actually serves to make it all convoluted...
in other words, it becomes a nice, long speech. even among friends... so i'm sitting there thinking: why? why all the jargon and nonesense, when we can just cut to the chase and move on with life? perhaps go out for coffee? go home and study? or hop a plane, and.. well, moving on....
also, why is it so difficult for poeple to accept things as being simple? are we so used to making life complicated that we need things to be complicated for us to have faith in them?
if so, that's pretty sad, eh?
i guess life is complex and we are creatures of habit.. but that's no excuse... we have the most massive brains ever... with each nerve in our brains making about a thousand synaptic connections with other nerves... that's, well, you do the math... tis a LOT! so why can't we accept simplicity and see the beauty in it?
some will argue that we live in a fast placed world, etc.. so we can't really sit back and relax.. however, i've been to simpler places.. lived in them.. and those places, in many ways are worse off than us (they have less chronic diseases.. but everything else is the same or worse).
anyway, oh, yeah, here's another completely unrelated thought: what things can split up a good friendship and destroy it? and why? if it's a good friendship, shouldn't it be able to withstand the winds of trial?
well, for that matter: what is a good friendship? (and for those of you who feel like leaving a comment along the lines of "well, tahereh, that's for each person to figure out" you can start deleting the thought right now! be straight up. and don't be afraid.. you can sign as anonymous if you want..)
ooo.. speaking of which, i've been told that it'd be nice to pass on some readers to my friend's blog.. ok, this is worth a new post... so i'm gonna post it... bye!

Once again, here I am

2005-12-08T01:45:00.000-06:00

Well, it seems that my pensieve is unavoidable. Tonight, i'm thinking about the purpose of life...
See, lately, i've been faced (Excuse my semi-correct grammar... my writing here is less than purposeful, so i really don't care enough to correct it) with a lot of tough thoughts and concepts.. not necessarily decisions just yet, but i can see how they will be very soon... and the thing is, i know the grand purpose of my existance : to know and worship God and to build an ever-advancing civilization (don't get it? see www.bahai.org - you might understand a bit more about me) however.. in the meantime....
i don't know what i'm really trying to say.... actually, well, wait.. maybe i do... monday really helped me get a bit of focus on life... i sorta saw a few lights rushing toward me and, well, i ended up realizing who i really care most about in my life... (yes, here comes sappy tahereh... don't worry, i'll return to my normal self soon enough!) and then i thought, well, if all of my existence in this world comes down to how much of it is useful for the next, then am i really being useful in this life? and this leads to thinking about careers, and family, etc... anyway, i'm in general quite confused. again, it comes down to this notion of balance:
how much time should i spend with my sister? (my profs won't be marking on my babysitting skills)
how important is what i study in school - how applicable is it?
and the list does continue.. and i think that most of you can pick up the rest (for those of you that can't, i'm really sorry.. i don't feel much like making an exhaustive list just now). anyway, a friend of ours is staying with us right now, and she says to me tonight, you'll make lots of career changes, and she's talking about life and how it will always be changing and you may or may not plan it, etc.. but here's a thought: when life throws you one of them curve balls, what do you do with it?
i think i've lost myself.... meh...
here's another question for you: why are you reading this right now?
i'm actually quite amazed at the variety of people that have read this and the comments that i've gotten (not all on this blog... a few of my regulars just talk to me about it) and i'm wondering why my little rants (or maybe not so little) would get people coming back, and also: why is it that those people whom i expect will give me a good answer give me the worst ones, and those whom i expect less of (simply because i don't know them as well) will write real thinkers?
anyway, i should go... i have a page long list of stuff to do tonight... any of my overseas readers... feel free to comment! to all you domestic ones: thanks for the thoughts, and keep them coming!
good night, and my apologies for this convolution i've posted....
take care!

oh, the midnight blues....

2005-12-05T03:21:00.000-06:00

well, i'm actually going to write something personal in here for once... or maybe not, let's see where this takes me.
it's 3.20AM, and i'm going out of my mind... you ever have one of those days where you relive parts of your life over and over and over again? well, i've been doing that for a long time now... and it's pretty bad... like having flashbacks of different things. if i mentioned where, when and the like, i'm sure a few of you would be both rolling your eyes and on the floor laughing.. not to mention shaking your heads in distain... and it's NOT what you think it is...
like, when i arrived in barcelona on may 2, 2005... my grampa with a rose... insisting he get a photo with his eldest grandchild on the spot... as an example... and i remember how hot it was, the dustiness.... my uncle talking about parking; my cousin's little stuffed snake toy hanging from the handle above the door...
it's a huge distraction alright.. and so you can forget about school when your head is drowning in the waters of the past... (oh, yes, haji, ever the poet!)
it's funny, sahar always tells me the grass is always greener on the other side (unfortunately, i always remind her that when it comes to ireland, it really IS the godforsaken truth!).. but seriously, you'd think i'd get that fact by now...
anyway, so that's that... oh, the early morning/late night blues...
and i have nothing more to add... life is just life - wait, one other thing..
a lot of my friends have been talking to me about "keeping a balance" in my life, for reasons that are quite irrelevant at this moment. anyway! i honestly can tell you that i don't understand how this is possible. also, the whole stay balanced, eat healthy, blah, blah, blah, doesn't account for emotions or life's little curve balls, as it were...
also, every successful event in my life has always been the result of me throwing myself at the thing: heart and soul... so the whole idea of having a balanced life and getting good results.. i don't know if i can buy it....
anyway, i'm done, mom just knocked on my door, angry that i'm up so late... remember kids, when you graduate from high school, and the parents ask you where you want to go to uni, go far, far, FAR away! and if they treaten you with homesickness, financial difficulties and the like... detach yourself, pray, and GO!
biggest mistake of my life.. well, among other things... i do certainly regret some aquaintances, too... pain wears many disguises. stupid life... but, never curse the watchmen, they say!
good night...

Medical Anthropology

2005-12-03T23:05:00.000-06:00

Big words describing possibly one of the worst courses i've taken thus far in my university career. Well, actually, it's not that bad a class, I just didn't like how much stuff this guy was pumping us about Western (or cosmopolitan as Frederick Dunn puts it) Medicine is bull, and science merely an ideology. Classes like this one cause students to question their beliefs. For example, in my Introductory Anthropology class last year, our prof got us to the point where we (the students) would question why we didn't have these "innovative and advanced" practices - don't follow? It's called 'Cultural Relativism'. The term means that every practice and belief can only be looked at relative to its own cultural evironment, and comparison is basically impossible.
Allow cultural relativism to come into the medical anthropology field, and you can justify why nearly any barbaric or life threatening health practice might be employed. Why not, right? Being a healer doesn't need to mean that the patient gets better - after all, what does healing mean, anyway? And what is health?
Med Anth looks at questions like the following:

what is the sick role?
how does one take on a sick role?
who takes on the sick role?
who is the healer?
how does one become a healer?
what does the healer do?
what is health?
what differentiates illness from disease?
how do are illness and disease codified in different cultures?

This is all find and dandy; however, it oversimplifies the situation. Granted, western medicine is not perfect, and we do need to adjust our medical system to allow for other elements to penetrate - I'll get to these things in a second; however, what gives the right to a group to create an entire profession (yeah, you can get full out DEGREES in med anth) at the expense of another?
Now, I guess I should look at everything with a bit of a keener eye and remember that this is an introductory course where the prof is trying to recruit students into his program; nevertheless, the injustice being done is dispicable. Why is it that we, as westerners, cannot criticize any other group of people, yet we have to create jobs for people that want to criticize us? These same individuals who will preach about the inadequacies of western med will go to their family doctor when they have the flu, or get into a car accident, or have cancer! (since most of us will have cancer at least a couple of times in our lives)
I guess my question of the day is this: qui a raison? who's right? (sorry, it doesn't really translate... just be happy that I don't have the keyboard to type in farsi!) In an increasingly globalized world, if society is going to look at other medical systems and say "hey, he didn't have to go to university for 10 years, and look at him! He's the village shaman, and he can do anything from performing coming of age rites to fighting the gods in his head and curing his patients!" and thereby reject our medical doctors, who do dehumanize - and they're working on that! - and have been known to make mistakes (quit expecting that doctors will fight gods for you, they can't - that requires lots of drugs, and well, a malpractice suit), then what good is it to be a doctor? (I'm in biochemistry, which well, in the line of work I'm going pursue, will mean working very closely with doctors)
The Baha'i writings call for a melange of spiritual and physical healing. 'Abdu'l-Baha says:

"There are two ways of healing sickness, material means and spiritual means. The first is by the use of remedies, of medicines; the second consists in praying to God and in turning to Him. Both means should be used and practiced.

Illness caused by physical accident should be treated with medical remedies; those which are due to spiritual causes disappear through spiritual means. Thus an illness caused by affliction, fear, nervous impressions, will be healed by spiritual rather than by physical treatment. Hence, both kinds of remedies should be considered. Moreover, they are not contradictory, and thou shouldst accept the physical remedies as coming from the mercy and favor of God, who hath revealed and made manifest medical science so that His servants may profit from this kind of treatment also. Thou shouldst give equal attention to spiritual treatments, for they produce marvelous effects.

Now, if thou wishest to know the divine remedy which will heal man from all sickness and will give him the health of the divine kingdom, know that it is the precepts and teachings of God. Guard them sacredly."

Anyway, let me know your thoughts - whether they be about this topic or not... I'd love to hear from you!

Check it out!

2005-12-03T15:06:00.000-06:00

For those of you who are getting tired of my rambling, stream of consciousness (possibly feminist) writing....
check out the link to the right for The Sheaf; specifically, look into the arts section of the site... you might just find an article by yours truly.. and it might just be called "Blending paint with spirituality" - cheezy, I know, but meh, what'll you do?
--Tahereh

Comments

2005-12-03T14:56:00.000-06:00

To my readers:

Thank you so much for your thoughts! The response that I have gotten from this simple blog is tremendous, and I, personally, have learnt so much, and hope to learn much more from you all!
Now, while I do love receiving your comments, and I do not like to edit what you leave on the blog, I would like to remind you all that I have friends in all age groups and walks of life. So I ask that you maintain a level of thought and vocabulary usage that is seemly of the noble human beings that we are, and that you do, please think about who will be reading what you write.
Yours, etc.

Waaaay Too Far!

2005-12-02T00:34:00.000-06:00

so i should be doing physics right now, but as you know, i have absolutely no focus whatsoever, and i have some more questions to ask you all. i'm wondering when has a person gone too far in a friendship/relationship - Whatever!
I find that one of the biggest things in today's society is that one can no longer trust ones' closest mates (i use that term in a strictly irish sense!). and that's quite painful... i mean, you have no one to confide in, to turn to... i'm not saying that this is my case specifically.. i've just been met with some circumstances lately that have made me think : what is the meaning of trust, and have we, as a society, lost it?
i don't know that i need to expand on this topic.... but like, if you tell someone to keep their mouth shut and they don't, then what? worse, if they've always been your confidante, and suddenly you realize that the trust you thought you had... see where i'm going?
take white lies as a simpler and less harsh case in point... the age-old question a girl will ask her boyfriend - am i fat? (or, well, am i pretty? do you love me... i'm sure you can continue this line of thought!) so what should the guy say? obviously the girl trusts him (and is maybe testing him...).... but how trustworthy is he? and think back on yourself now, how trustworthy are any of us?

anyway, i thought that i'd leave you with that thought....

ah, yes, another idea... the old grapevine... why are we so preoccupied with so-and-so's business?

Express YOUR Sexuality

2005-11-23T21:39:00.000-06:00

hehehe, impressed? i learnt how to turn on the title feature!!!

well, let me begin my rant tonight by saying the following:
for those of you who i'm probably going to crush tonight, i apologize. but this is totally what i think, and since you so routinely ask for my opinion, i'm going to give it here and now. i am sincerely sorry for this... it is not my intent to say that any one belief is wrong (though if you want the truth, i suggest you look for it!), but to present another case...

some of my close friends have heard me say that i still go through culture-shock. in a country that i was born and raised in. how is this possible you ask? well, let me show you.
we live in a society that is permeated with the idea of freedom. since the start of the industrial revolution, everything that we have known to be true (this applies globally, don't worry!) has changed.
for the sake of this blog entry, and to maintain the current theme of this here blog.... let us focus on how sexuality and how we view sex has changed. with the rise of the flappers in the 20's, to the peak era of feminism in the 60's, and now, back to girls wanting to be traditional homemakers... (guys, you liked it all... how many of you DON'T get turned on by a girl that's "feisty"?) we've developed a society that boasts freedom of sex to the point where we not only eat and sleep it, we excrete it, as well! (no pun intended - for those of you sick enough to think of one)
ok, maybe i'm a bit too angry here... it's more frustration. let me give you some examples.

we've all heard about the whole "double standard" argument. i won't belabor it, but for those of you who are looking at your screen going "what the hell is she talking about" here :
if a guy sleeps around, he's "the man"; if a girl does, she's a slut. get it?

we've now gotten to the point in society where we see those who get married as traditional, old-fashioned people, and those who don't as progressive and forward-thinking. those who decide that they're "ready" (please, someone explain to me what that term means... i still cant' figure it out!) - for what, well, insert something here! - are indivduals who are in touch with their sexuality and are embracing their feelings. we consider those who decide not to have sex until marriage as suppressing themselves, and religious and well, i have heard the term "celibate" a few times... but those are priests (and only some of them at that!), people, not those who practice abstinence... look those words up!
i heard a guy tell a girl today, "well, he's a man, he's got to be coming to see her this weekend for a reason!" and he's right. for all that i tried to convince this poor girl that you know what, this one might be different... i can't.
and the reason come down to this: our society sees expression as action. some noticeable motion. what if the expression is a more general term?

don't like that line of argumentation?

fine, try this on for size: since when is it alright for us to judge a person who chooses to express their sexuality differently (no, i'm not talking only about homosexuals - i mean, someone who has a limit.. no matter where it is, on what they'll do with another) but not someone who decides to sow their proverbial oats? these terms, liberal and conservative... they're judgments and a form of prejudice, do you see?

a friend of mine, just to end off where i left last time... i was talking to her about the film wedding crashers.. cuz i liked it.. found it funny, someone witty and well, it's a love story, and i've become a sappy little girl since july.... anyway! she found it quite disgusting. hated how it was permeated with sex. and both these men are accepted and loved, and we find this funny and witty and brilliant! and yes, i realize that it's just a film... but it's a reflection of our society. and how disgusting is that?

well, to me: a heck of a lot!

but, i mean, who can blame us, right? chastity is a thing we think of only when we see an advert on a bus... and our only thoughts are "right... next?" in addition, society sees chastity and abstinence synonymously. let me review the definition of synonymous for you: the words have similar meanings, but are not interchangeable. to me, chastity involves abstinence, but goes beyond it. each individual will see how far beyond differently.. and well, how far i see it is a matter for me and well, any poor sap that comes my way...

since i hate the term dimension, i'll use it here....

another dimension of sexual expression lies in the relationship itself. the question here is: how much of an investigation of someone's character are you foregoing when you get physically involved? some might argue that you're getting to know the other person better. to those individuals: are you kidding me? you're merely trying to figure out how good they are in bed before you make a committment that you won't ENJOY! (and yes, that was me generalizing, and being judgmental... don't bother taking notes... you should know me better by now!)

a while ago, in a discussion with a friend, i was given some advice (along the lines of well, if you won't completely put out... you should at least.... well, we won't finish that sentence!) anyway, i was somewhat taken aback... i hope that my close friends can see my beliefs and understand my character enough to know that i will not change for anyone. however, i was recounting this experience to a friend of mine (who is, well, my spiritual twin), and i said at the end, "well, i suppose i should get used to it", and she replies: "no, you shouldn't have to get used to it, you deserve to get what you want, and what you want is to have a man who is on par with you, who understands where you're coming from, and is heading in the same direction as you are." those words really struck true for me, because that's what we all should have in life, right? someone who's at our level, understands us, and who's goals and ambitions you share.

i don't know. i could probably be way out in left-field (haha, HAD to throw in some BASEball... ouch... this is painfully bad... canadian humor, anyone?) and i could also, as usual, not be explaining myself properly... anyway, leave your thoughts... judge me as you will; i can take it, don't worry... and have a great day!!!

2005-11-20T00:04:00.000-06:00

Well, Back to my Virtual Pensieve

Anyway, here I am again. I'm back at the computer screen to try and figure my thoughts out. And, well, force you people, who are kind enough to condescend to reading my blog, to wonder at my sanity.
Do you ever have one of those weeks where things just seem to end extremely well? I've had a week from Hell. Literally. The things and people that usually keep me going just weren't there... and I really just wasn't feeling it. Anyway, but looking back (never curse the watchmen!), I see that it's been an amazing week! Why? Well, I'm sure we'll find out soon enough!
In the meantime.... here are some thoughts
I watched the Wedding Crashers tonight. My brother and the Filson sisters (minus the eldest!) and I went out with the goal of going to Harry Potter 4... and found ourselves at the cheap seats watching an extremely obnoxious, sexually saturated, hilarious film... that brought back more memories than I would've liked... (this wasn't my first viewing of the film)
Anyway, what really struck me this time around was the concept of family that this film shows in the backdrop of a standard love story. For those of you who have not seen Wedding Crashers... look it up on google or something... I'm sure you can find a synopsis somewhere... Anyway, the family in question is the Cleary family (wealthy, American... the family of our heroine). They are so dysfunctional that it is unreal. Yes, I realize that it's a comedy... but let me finish! (Sam, don't click the comment button just yet!) Right... back on track: the grandmother is crazy - she's all sweet on the outside and old and bitter on the inside.... swears and is crazed and the like! (much like a teenage boy--it's just that when it's gramma we get shocked!) Anyway, the dad has something to do with finance in the government... extremely powerful... the mom is, well, looking to have fun (for those of you who liked Jane Seymour as Dr. Quinn "medicine woman", I suggest NOT watching this film). And the kids... well, the kids... let's see... 3 girls, 1 boy. Eldest gets married (that's the wedding that gets crashed) - so we don't really see her much, except to know that her wedding is exceptionally cheezy! (I hope that I'm NEVER my husband's first mate, and he my captain!) The other two daughters.. one is our heroine, and the other is a sex crazed lunatic who enchants our hero's best friend... and the son? Well, crazy, teen-aged, homosexual artist... need I say more?
And, yet, with all this... I wonder, exactly how odd is this all-American family? We all have that crazy uncle or aunt... and family members that we just plain ol' regret to have blood ties to... and grandparents that our parents try to keep quiet at the dinner table so that we kids would still learn the meaning of respect... maybe not to the extreme as presented in this film... since, well, comedies are virtual caricatures of awkward situations... but really think about it...
And, going back to the love story part of it (I really should stop watching these films...) anyway.... how odd is it to meet someone and fall in love with them within a short while? Or know, at least, that you're going to?
For that matter, what is love? (age old question, I know... but I wouldn't mind your input!)

On an competely other note... I've been wondering (I hate social sciences, but Hell! they're getting me to psychoanalyze every little thing in my life...) about this amazing piece of technology called the internet (Sahar, if you're reading, now would be the place to stop... You'll only roll your eyes at the rest of this and I want to save you the pain and energy - hey, what are friends for if not that?). Anyway, I have a lot of friends that I have not seen, literally since I met them. It's a side-effect of travelling and being a Baha'i. These things happen! Well, so as of late, it's been really disconcerting for me to maintain these friendships in this way. I'll give you an example. It's possible now, using msn, skype or countless other internet messaging programs... to have free voice conversations.. so forget text messaging... you can actually talk to people, internationally or domestically, just by having a good internet connection! And, if you have one, you can add webcam to that, too... and then actually see the other person.... In addition, you can exchange music, email, discuss whatever (for example, Thursday evening found me looking up French words for a friend that lives in London, Ontario), while doing all these things.. so sometimes, the discussion groups that I hold at my house, I'll discuss and plan with a friend who lives miles away... This is nothing new to any of us, right?
Well, see, fine.. but how are the members of such a culture affected? That same friend who I was looking up french words for... when I went to get my dictionary from the shelf.... I wanted to physically pass her the book! At school, I look over my shoulder, or I see someone or something... and I have the impression that so-and-so is over there... I know it's crazy... but think about it this way... I have the most intense and fun conversations ever, over the net... I can plan whole events with someone who won't probably won't ever be able to attend the product of their work... and one of my closest friends will tutor me in physiology the night before an exam.... but I can't have coffee with any of these people. But it feels like they're right there...
This puts a whole new spin on virtual reality, eh?

Anyway, those were my thoughts of the day... why don't you leave yours?

2005-11-13T01:18:00.000-06:00

Spirituality and Cake

why the title, you ask? it's a line from a show that i'm sure you are all quite sick of hearing me talk about by now...
anyway, in the words of marie antoinette: let them eat cake!
i've come home to an empty house tonight. it's a slightly awkward feeling to come home and see this place that seems so small when it's populated.. and so massive when you're alone. but! i've manned the fort. and it's nothing that i haven't done before.. so bring on the saturday night blues.. alone.
a friend of mine told me today that if i can handle a 21 month old child, i can handle this.
interestingly enough, i wondered about that comment. he's right, in many ways, but the thing is that there's a difference between holding down a house, and playing with a kid, or putting that kid to sleep... (you really can't play with a house, or put it to sleep...)
heheh, that was a joke, people... laugh!
*sigh* no one ever laughs at my jokes....
see, the friday/saturday night blues are not exactly about being home alone, or about what you did that day (for example, i did actually GO OUT tonight.... to a friends place.. for a quiet night of movies and well, face to face conversation) but it's just about wanting to be doing something other than what you're doing.
anyway, i'm doing quite well at the moment... so many classes i could be studying for right now.. and i really am doing a great job of not doing any study! (as usual....)
ah, yes, my next question:
if you could fast forward to the future, would you?
i oftent think to myself, will i remember this moment, when such and such happens to me? and when i do, what will i think?
however, i've found that one often lives either in the past, present or future.... and i, too often, live for the future. ironically, it's those instances when i live for the present that make me happiest... then again, i end up replaying those moments far too often...
i've just realized that i've started to right complete crap, and in the worst order possible...
but then again, i can argue in my defence that i'm a feminist and this is stream of consciousness writing.. and i will NOT be tied down to a male form of thought organization designed to poison my creativity.
hahah, to those anti-feminists out there... i refuse to tell you which side i'm actually on.
ah, which brings me to my next point.
a few weeks ago, i was told, by a very candid, and well, good friend why i'm undateable. we were discussing the fact that in my circle of friends (which is slightly cross-continental), i find that the girls who are in sciences, head-strong, and smart seem not to have boyfriends... or even have guys that will consider her as a possibility.
anyway, this friend of mine, who is a true expert in such issues informed me that guys like girls who NEED them. he listed several other attributes that are characteristic features of yours truly... and explained why those specific traits would cause the demographic known as young canadian men to not even turn for a second look (i personally, think that in my case it has to do with the fact that there's not much to see... although, i know of one person who might think otherwise.... sigh...) anyway! so according to him, the damsel in distress/prince charming complex goes both ways.
i wonder, though, about how successful a relationship that depends on one person constantly providing for the other will be... think about it: what if the woman resolves the problem that mr. right was there for? should the couple keep on finding things to fix? and does this have any correlation to divorce rates and the demand for couples counselling and marriage self-help books?
anyway, it seems that i'm full of questions today....

i have a quotation for you:

"I don't believe I can create, but that I can be a channel for the Creative. I do believe in the Creator, and so in reality, this is His album, through me to you, with as little in between as possible on this media-conscious earth. As to what i should be called, I don't remember Him calling me anything in particular." - Keith Jarrett

*thanks luke ;)

and a good night to you all!

2005-11-12T22:17:00.000-06:00

Well, Sam has questioned my previous comment about science as a proof of God--she wants me to "expand on that". To do this topic justice, I will postpone my response to after December 17th, at which point, feel free to send me obscenely long emails about whatever... Because I'll have the time to respond! *cue maniacal laughter*
Anyway... I have more thoughts that I feel like writing out...
ok, i'm done with this whole "grammar" thing...
anyway, i watched monster-in-law last night. and, i'm embarrassed to admit this next part.... and bride and prejudice. that's right! i, tahereh haji, did watch a pointless movie... i do it far too often and ENJOY IT!
so what's struck me about both these films (and well, classics such as pride and prejudice... sigh... oh, mr. darcy...) is the idea of mothers as hindrances to marriage. (i apologize for my choice in topic, sahar, i swear to you i won't go along my usual line of thought)...
i mean, monster-in-law is just amazing... the stuff that that woman does to her future daughter-in-law... and you know, while it is an exaggerated story, it does present a certain truth. numerous women, well and men that i have spoken to have recounted the same story. mothers are especially worried that their sons are unhappy with their women. it's a complex that goes back to jocasta herself.
again, my question is why. to me, it comes down to jealousy... although i can swear to you that most mothers probably do not hope to be the woman that their sons sleep with... it's more a want of attention. but why from the son and not the daughter?
the same applies to friendships. the whole "you're stealing MY friend" complex. why is there an expectation that if someone new enters a person's life, someone will be pushed away?
for that matter... what about the "third wheel" syndrome. at least from a girl's perspective... i wonder: does a part of a girl's relationship with her best friend die when she finds herself a boyfriend? or does that just give them something new to talk about? (hehehe, i've been watching too much sex and the city!) and does that relationship death summate? so that with each new boyfriend more and more of the friendship atrophies... and then if they're both dating... (haha, i'm enjoying this a tad bit too much... probably because i'm listing to bohemian rapsody....)
and the visualization for this one is particularly interesting....
ok, well, moving on now...
let me just add: being on one's own (at home alone, that is) is fricken amazing!
ah, yes, i suggest that if you kids have time on your hands, and want to learn about the world (we canadians arrogantly think that we know everything bout everything... granted we know more than the smartest american... but we're still quite stupid... trust me. i've travelled and i've learnt a lot since i came back... don't get it? ASK!)
www.denial.bahai.org

2005-10-30T03:57:00.000-06:00

ok, well, i should be studying for physiology right now, but meh, when have i been one to do what i should be doing??
anyway, so two things....
firstly, i've been studying physiology, and my conclusion is thus: if anyone ever wanted proof of God's existance, all they would have to do is study science. a good, well, how's this, becoming good friend of mine (she'll learn to hate me soon enough!), doesn't agree, but let my comment slide earlier this afternoon. i'm hoping that i'll get a response to the statement above... if not, i'll just take it as one or both of the following: 1. no one reads this blog, so no comment could be made by default; or 2. you all agree with me. prove me wrong.
my second comment for the evening will have to wait... i want to give it good thought... stay tuned though.. it's about university life and living at home.. should be good!
question of the day (if the above wasn't good enough for you!) : why is crash such an ironic film?

2005-10-23T14:25:00.000-06:00

my brother, anis, and i at the Garden of Ridvan, in Akka, Israel

2005-10-22T19:23:00.000-06:00

well, i haven't really done much to update this at all... however, i think that i've found out what i want to do with this place...
i assume that if you're reading this, that you're either bored out of your mind, or actually interested in my life; in any case, i am sorry to inform you that you'll be greatly disappointed. my plan here is to share all those funny thoughts that i have that no one in their right minds will ever listen to.
i'm sitting on my bed right now, surrounded by a pile of books, brain having turned to mush and writing--for lack of better things to do.
anyway... so here i am...
now, i must admit that i am a massively big fan of seinfeld. in case you haven't ever seen/heard of it (which is likely, considering how international my connections seem to be), it's a tv show about nothing. the story is centered on the life of a thirty-year old jerry seinfeld, and his odd bunch of friends. it's a great comedy, not because of the the plot itself, but about how much it questions our society. episodes are based mostly on irony, and the idea that 'what goes around, comes around'. anyway, i am not here to give you a synopsis of the show. i suggest that you watch it for yourself!
another show that does this quite well, but in a very much opposing fashion, is sex and the city. for my younger readers, i must apologize. and i will state here that it is not a G-rated show... however! the reason why i find it particularly interesting is because the main character, carrie, questions her life and the lives of her friends at every turn. they are all approaching middle age, mostly single and without children (it depends on what you regard as committed and with children) and really, don't have much going for them in the way of not growing old and being spinsters.
both shows question. and i love it.
so here i am... sitting here with a pile of books around me, waiting for... for... i don't know what! but as i look at these books, i wonder why i am here.
yesterday, i visited an old teacher of mine. i told him about how i was doing in school and life and the like, and he started to question me and my choices... all for the best, don't worry... his point was this: are you doing what you want to do?
movies like garden state point this out quite well. most of us live life in a state of autopilot. heck! a lot of us will die that way too... but the question remains: why?
i've been questioning my life for a while now, and i imagine that i will for a long time. however, i get moments, where i know exactly what i want to do, and am going to do... and then it all slips away...
i do believe that every person should find their way to serve humanity. if we approached our professions, whatever they may be, with an attitude of "i want to do this to serve my fellow human beings", well, we'd all be a lot more productive, for one thing, and we certainly wouldn't have as much time spent on destroying each other.
and when i say "destroy" i mean it in a sense greater than blowing someone up. for example, the competition in our society literally makes people sick. google: chronic illness. from ulcers to diabetes to depression... our minds control our health, and our society puts pressure on the mind. see the link? no? look again.
anyway.. i'm digressing...
but with north america in the state that it is, how can one actually do something that is of service. everywhere you look, there are cracks in the system... anthropologists, and all the other -ologists are constantly finding inadequacies. my medical anthropology prof is set on the idea that western medicine does nothing for anyone. my french prof is convinced that cults really weren't that bad at all... we just thought they were...
i mean, it's sort of unreal... look at teachers.. the education system: i mean, we don't even compare!
so how can we actually, truly serve?

anyway, that's my question of the day... stay tuned for more crazy ramblings...

2005-09-06T01:14:00.000-06:00

Well, guys, I figured that I should revamp my website again, and I've been having fun reading people's blogs every so often... So I've decided to create my own blog of craziness! Welcome to my life's new home. I must warn you, there is not much to me, so you will probably get bored... But, perhaps, one day, it might become interesting, so you'll have to keep on reading. Forever. And ever.
Anyway, so it's the end of summer. School starts on Wednesday. I'm sort of excited... Actually, I am excited. Unfortunately, I don't think that I have any classes with my friends; however, that just means that I'll have to meet new people, and make some more friends... which is something that I'm very happy to do these days. I mean, after you get over the initial nervousness of talking to someone new.. or calling someone... (yikes!), then it gets to be fun. There is so much to learn from people, both about oneself and about the world...
Some of you are probably wondering how my travels were. They were amazing. I got to go to four different countries, and got to meet many new people. Some of whom I am still in contact with, but most of whom I just remember fondly. It is quite difficult to keep in contact with people, I must say, especially with language barriers. However, I can say this much: if both parties want to stay in touch, they will. One of my best friends and I just passed our 5th anniversary... We got to visit each other this past summer--that in itself was amazing, and the fact that we still talk to each other is a further testament to our friendship.
So much else was brilliant about this trip. I learnt a lot about myself, about other cultures, and about my family. I don't mean that in a cheezy, Dr. Phil way, but in a more thoughtful manner. I honestly am only realizing how much I learnt now, and I think that I will notice it more as this year progresses. So much has happened this summer....
I am only anticipating with eagerness the results thereof.