a blog article i liked...

check it out!

jonathon has written a brilliant article that i think is a really astute observation of our society, and ourselves. i'm pretty sure he'll say that what he said is pretty obvious - and truly, it is... but it's expressed in a very interesting way. anyway - enjoy!

evenings with haji

well, for future reference - whenever you see a "Testing" post, it's because my account is messed up and decides to randomly "forbid" people (including myself) access to the blog. i'm not sure what the problem is, and i am not that computer literate, so we'll just have to make do with not knowing what's going on.
anyway, i decided against going out tonight so that i can do some work on lab report... and i took a break - watched a tv movie. the main characters were all artists. two of them were writers, one was a sculptor, a third was a musician and ahaha, the other wasn't an artist i guess - she was more into activism. the film, though, was about ego, and about how truly blinding it is.
but then i guess, it was also about knowing what you really want in life - and that comes from what you value and place importance on. the main character actually learns that she didn't realize what she truly valued - and i thought it was interesting, seeing as a lot of my conversations lately have been centered around knowing what one wants - and how to get it.
perhaps this sounds rather self-centered. i should clarify. you can want different things. so, perhaps, person x wants financial stability, person y wants social justice, and person z wants to dedicate his/her life to the progress of civilization. our wants can be quite different. what's interesting though, is that when those wants coincide with that which a human being truly needs - then, i think, that person ends up tapping into power that is greater.
in the end, it comes down to knowing yourself. personally, i'm at a point where i know more about biochemistry than about myself, so really, i'm no expert - but i know that knowledge of one's true self is extremely important to setting oneself on the right course.
and with that said - it is time i return to charts and graphs...

testing.. again

my blog account hates me

A few stray thoughts

ok, well, i have a several thoughts today, and i thought i would write them, seeing as how studying is definitely not happening at this point.... also, for those of you who have never met my family... i thought i would upload a few from a wedding we went to back in september....

anyway, so the above show my brother, sister and i.. eheh... anyway...

so, first off... last wednesday bore witness to our first snow - and blizzard - of the year. it was pretty crazy, because i'd planned a few appointments for myself during the day and evening, and so i asked my brother if i could borrow the car (this was monday) anyway.... come wednesday morning, there's over half a foot of snow outside.... and more is coming down... so it was an awesome adventure driving around... by noon there was at least a foot.... so i ended up shovelling our driveway (after digging/pushing out my car - it got stuck) and finding that there was still a layer of ice from the day before (freezing rain... and i KILLED myself on that...)

anyway, all this being said, my day was amazing in that it was my first time alone driving in a blizzard as such... first off - it is a TON of fun... you get to do all the fun stuff that you see on movies with your steering wheel going all over the place and such.... and... when your car gets stuck, you can be sure to have at least two or three men come and help you out! this was what got me most.... that through all the traffic and sliding backwards down hills and getting stuck in intersections and everything, people just helped each other out. i had guys come and push me out - patiently, i really must admit that i don't know what to do with my car when it gets stuck... still learning! - and as soon as it was done, they'd head off. i'd say thanks, they'd say no prob, and that was that. i really liked that.

this morning we had a memorial for my grampa. tomorrow marks one month since he passed away. i'd be lying if i said i don't miss him... but you know, i got to MC today... and give a talk on his life. (two months ago, i did this for my grandmother on my dad's side) and you know, that little bit of "doing something" really helped i think, in that it really made me feel like we'd done something for him.... and i've also been learning a lot as i reflect back on his life. i dunno, it was kinda cool, but i guess i don't really have the vocabulary to express what i mean really...

with all that... i wanted to discuss one of my favorite books - and one of the best lines in that book.... ender's game is the book. the line: "the enemy's gate is down" - it's what the main character says to his soldiers when all the odds are stacked against them... he orders them to finish the game as fast as possible (the goal is to disable enough of the opposing side so that you can unlock the enemy's gate). but he bends the rules, and sends his men to unlock the gate - taking the time to disable the other side would've caused the massacre of his army.

in any case, it's an interesting thought... one which implies that the ends do justify the means - but i'm not sure that this is true. often, when i get frustrated, my first response is to think of that line and just do whatever i have to to get through the situation - but when i think the situation through, i realize that if i do that, some spiritual qualities begin to get sacrificed in the process... so i am never quite sure what to do...

lately, i've been taking what i consider to be the "high road" but, to be honest, it feels like i'm bashing my head against a wall sometimes (ie. i get tested a lot, because the important things never come easily to me)... but now i'm thinking, i don't have the time to do that anymore... anyway, so i guess that's a question for you - what do you think? do the ends justify the means?

for those of you who have read ender's game... i apologize for the horrible explanation i gave above... to those who have not yet read it, i butchered that part of the story, but really, read it - it's a brilliant book!

supply and demand

well, at least a few people have left comments saying that they want me to write again... but the thing is, i've come to a total writer's block period of life. this is not to say that i do not have ideas stuck in the junkyard called my brain, but then i think about them some more and i'm like, well, what's the point of writing about that?!

altho, i do have friends that i write to often about my thoughts, so maybe it's the fact that i am actually having these discussions outside of my little blog that keeps me from writing.... but i am not sure

so i dunno... shall i make this heartfelt? thoughtful and crushing? hmm....

it's interesting because this writer's block is probably just in my head. i've learnt these past 6 months that our thought is our reality. what you perceive, what you respond to, how you respond, the reaction you cause in the other person - it's all a matter of your own thoughts.

this is interesting for me to learn, because i remember a time when a few friends and i would spend our breaks scaring fellow students by telling them that the world is actually mere perception... and so we're all figments of each other's imagination - but, ever the skeptic - i didn't take it any further. as in, i never paused to realize that if one were to try, you can change every situation into a more positive one by the power of thought alone. (note: i did not say totally positive - i said more positive)

for example, i was asking this same question (about how to change thoughts) from a friend of mine last night, and she proceeded to tell me about her evening. She had gone to the movies, and had parked her car. Admittedly, it was not perrrfect parking, she said, but it was between the lines and the like.... In any case, she comes back to her car, and finds a note on her windshield. On the note was something like "learn how to park, jackass". Now, this friend of mine could've chosen to get really really angry... or whatever... but then upon further reflection, she realized that perhaps Notewriter, let us call this person, had really bad humor... or was drunk? or was just an idiot... I mean, really. Listening to her tell the story, I thought, hmm, it sounds like she's not so hurt as she might have initially been. (And in case you think you wouldn't be frustrated if someone left you a note like that... Just think about all those times you've gotten a ticket. eheheh)

i've found that the same applies to school. i decided at the beginning of the year that i should start thinking more positively about life.... so i've been trying to approach everything in a spirit of learning - so something challenges me, and i try and find a way to make it push me further. however, the challenge really lies in keeping up this attitude. it's not enough to just try to change something - you have to persevere at it - energizer battery style... just keep on going and going and going and going...

i say that because i have some dreadful classes this term... just frustrate me (like french class in high school) these profs just don't understand that at the university level, there's a certain standard. in any case, i could rant on about them - but what would be the point in that?

well, that's all for today - just remember : thought = reality